How much stuff

[MartyG]

If a teen comes out to his family; how does he know where to draw the line as to how much information he should reveal; initially and on an on-going basis.

To me the coming out itself isn't that big a deal...but what if they want to know all the details about what exactly I do with my b/f....

There are a lot of questions I hear of parents asking...and quite frankly...I would like some input as to how much information I should feel compelled to give them.

[Noirtier]

Quite frankly, the only knowledge that anyone else NEEDS to know is that you like members of the same sex. Regardless of whether they are your parents or not, they do not NEED to know, and are by no means entitled to know, ANYTHING you and your boyfriend do in the bedroom or romantically, etc. Of course, they should know where you're going if you go on a date, and other such things, but that's natural for any parent to know whether their child is bi, gay, or straight. Parents are not entitled and do not need to know anything about your sex life with your boyfriend, or even anything about kissing him if it makes you uncomfortable. Anything further than the bare necessities for them to know is just them being nosy. And while it's your choice of how much to tell them, do be wary that they might still intend to ask such questions. If I were you, and they asked such a question, I would merely politely refuse to answer, pointing out how they would feel if someone asked them the same question.

[Dangoblin]

I've came out to 3 people so far. My mom, and my 2 best friends. The questions I got were:
How do you know you're gay?
How long have you known?
Can you sense gay men? (By far the funniest question)
Do you have a boyfriend?

If you come out, and this is in my opinion, I would come out to the person you trust the most. If you want to tell your whole family at once, go for it. But just telling my mom made me start stuttering my words as they came out.

As for the telling them about your boyfriend, that is if you want to. Even straight people have relationships that they keep hidden from their parents whereas others can't wait to tell them.

I think you should give them as much information as you like. After all, how do they know that you have a boyfriend unless you tell them?

[TigerBoy]

I think it is fair to be concerned about their kid having unsafe sex. I don't think they need graphic details about it.

My boyfriend's mum is aware we are having sex after school before homework, and my parents are aware the same happens when he sleeps over: both our parents said they'd rather provide a safe environment than try to ban us and have us taking more risks. We have discussed safe sex in general terms There are a wide range of things that 'sex' could mean, and there is no reason to ask your kid which specific sex acts they are doing to have that safe sex conversation, and I wouldn't feel comfortable telling them.

Having said that I do talk to my sister about the relationship and been pretty open about some things. I know a filtered version of that gets back to my mum anyway.

[Apollo.]

I've never had a relationship with a guy but when I have been doing stuff with girls in the past my parents (hopefully) were totally oblivious of my sex life, I am not the most open guy with stuff like that I get embarrassed pretty easy! So if I eventually do have a relationship with a guy they will not know anything of my sex life they can guess away but nothing more than that!