My poor friend

[FreeFall]

Well my friend just called me freaking out. The boy she broke up with last, he killed himself 12 days ago and she just found out about it all. He left a note and blamed it all on her. This jerk took the selfish way out and placed his reasoning on her, now there's a chip on her shoulder. I'm pretty pissed right now. I tried telling her she did not make him do what he did, she's not responsible for him but she's freaking out, screaming relapse for an eating disorder, and freaked out she could get in trouble because he blamed her.

I've never dealt with this before, I don't like dealing with these types of things. I just broke out in hives from the stress and anxiety I'm feeling for my friend.

Her parents are gone for the week and I'm heading out right now to go over there, she's freaking me out and I don't think it's best for her to be left alone.

If anyone can give me some advice to help her or something for her to read, I greatly appreciate it. I want to be a supportive friend without doing anything wrong, I'm a winner for saying the wrong things at the wrong time when I'm panicked. I'm definitely going to call her sister when I get there, they're very close, I just have to find her phone number.

[Haunted]

It sounds like you are on the right track. Just try to keep calm and think for a bit before you say something so you don't end up saying the "wrong thing at the wrong time." But yeah it is not her fault and he was selfish to so that.

[Noxail]

Blaming it all on him isn't helping at all. He may have done the wrong thing, but the grief and pain he was feeling must've been real. Just be there for her. Hold her and let her cry herself out. If she is this upset, there is no use trying to talk reason into her. Wait until she is calm, and has worked through her hysteria, and then talk about what happened and why it isn't her fault. Don't become angry with her if she continues to bame herself, and it may be wise to contact the school counsier or an adult who can talk her through it. If she becomes suicidal, in the least, tell an adult or call 911. ~holli

[FreeFall]

He can rot in hell for all I care. It's never ok to blame someone for suicide no matter what. He's ruined her mind, my friend's broken.

I had to call the cops. She tried to get me to help her kill herself. She was in hysterics all night, had eerie calm periods at one point she asked me why he did this, why'd he blame her and didn't he know she'd remember this until she dies, he was a cruel b- to have done this to her, she acknowledged he was wrong but it didn't seem to process. She would "talk" to her ex time to time too and start her hysterics all over again. I got called a bitch when the cops showed up and she just wants to die, she can't live without him, she can't live knowing he did that. So she's gone away and I have to give what I saw.

[MartyG]

You did what you had to do FreeFall. She was so very lucky to have you there. A lesser friend would have just procrastinated in going to see her.
This is going to take time; you are correct in thinking that it will affect her for the rest of her life. It was a horrible thing that her friend did....but it's too late to fix that; it happened.
I hope things work out for you and her; she sure needs a friend...but don't get discouraged if she won't allow you back into her life immediately.

[StoppingTime]

OP request. :locked: