How to Make a Move?

[TaylrJ]

I am 15, and bisexual. I like this guy who is 14 and I think is gay. It is real obvious he is. I mean he isn't out yet or anything but I think he is. I also have a weird feeling he may like me. But we are real close. We flirt, text, talk all the time, sit beside each other everywhere, go everywhere together, and a lot of stuff like that. You can read a whoole lot more about us in this thread (second paragraph): http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=153137

Today he invited me over. I've been over once before, it was about a week ago. Today, he invited me over saying no one would be there. Saying it wouldn't be as awkward as the first time because his parents weren't gonna be there. I translated that as "It's going to be just the two of us only, so something could happen." That's what I basically thought he meant. Well I got real excited and told a few people. Just mentioning going to his house. One kid is like "Really?!?" Then went over to talk to him. Later, I am getting ready and find out that kid is also going to be there, turn out he asked. He asked because he found out I was. So it made me mad, and I decided not to go. By the way, I really think some people are just jealous of us. We are real close and I think they feel like I took there friend away. The kid that is coming over probably isn't gay. But still, I wanted it me and him only.

The point is, if this happens again; he invites me over and I end up going to his house. How can I make a move? Make things progress and actually have something more with him? Also, did you read the paragraph in the other thread? Can you please before answering? Thanks..

[Apollo.]

I'm not joking, in that paragraph on the other post you described my best friend that I'm basically in love with! All I can tell you is what others have told me. Just talk about other boys with him and try and ask him of he's gay without being offensive. I'm in kind of the same situation as you as in wanting to move things on with my friend I'm just not sure if he's gay yet and not ready to make a move so if you do eventually make a move please tell me how it goes:)

[dontfiguremeout]

Well why are you mad? You were the one who decided to tell people about it, and in a way, that's like openly saying, hey if you ask him, most likely he will let you guys come to the house! Next time, don't brag about going to his house when no one is home! And well do you know if he's gay or bi? How bout next time you ask him! Or maybe reason why he asked you to come over, because he has something important to say? I mean has he been acting a tiny bit strange lately, like somethings on his mind? And building relationships like these takes time, so don't rush any step! Take small steps, and let them progress!

[TaylrJ]

Well why are you mad? You were the one who decided to tell people about it, and in a way, that's like openly saying, hey if you ask him, most likely he will let you guys come to the house! Next time, don't brag about going to his house when no one is home! And well do you know if he's gay or bi? How bout next time you ask him! Or maybe reason why he asked you to come over, because he has something important to say? I mean has he been acting a tiny bit strange lately, like somethings on his mind? And building relationships like these takes time, so don't rush any step! Take small steps, and let them progress!

First off, I am mad because truthfully, I am jealous. If you go through my posts, you will eventually find one asking about jealousy and how to deal with it. No body has gave me a good answer. I don't really think I need one either. I am realizing that it is just a sign of me loving him. But too much of it can be a problem, and I need to trust him and whatever he does with another guy, won't effect our relationship. Because that's what I sometimes think. I fear that by talking to someone else and having a good time. He will replace me with someone else. It's my fear of loosing him.

In the end, the kid ended up going. I was bored at home thinking "maybe it is a GOOD THING that someone else is over. That way we CAN'T do anything." Your right, we DO NOT need to rush things. The quicker it builds up, the quicker it ends. Same thing with slowness. We need to take our time and just let things happen on their own. We've only been talking for only about two months. I got out of bed, forgot about being mad, and went straight over to his house. I gotta say, I had such a good time with him. Someone with us or not.

When you bring up him acting strange. Today when I came over. I don't know what got to him. He was making it so obvious! In a good way though, lol. He would rub against me, wink, put his arm around me, make a big deal out of not sitting with me, touch feet, telling me how I always look good and had a nice butt, texted me saying "I <3 you", actually twice he did that, and he even asked me if I was straight. I know he meant it. But it was stupid of him because that other kid was RIGHT THERE next to us, I had to lie and say yes. I could tell he didn't buy it though. Anyway, I did all this stuff back to him too. It played out real well and it's very clear we have a thing.

The problem is, he is doing it all as a joke. But I can tell why. We are not out to each other yet, no one else either. So he has to joke, just in case if he was called out for it. He could say it was just a joke and it meant nothing. Which he does this flirting thing and acting gay to no one else, It has to mean something. I know it does.

Thank you so much. I ended up realizing all these things when I was with him before I even read your post. But reading it helped me know for sure that it is the right way to go. Taking time with him and not rushing a thing. But one thing I didn't realize, he has asked me a few times about being gay. In front of people so I can't answer truthfully. But I have never asked him. You're right, I really need to, and soon.

Again, thanks and I'll keep you updated!

[dontfiguremeout]

There's no need to be jealous! I don't think you will loose him, because I doubt he'll get with a girl right now, and also no guy would get him right now, since he's saying he is "straight." He's just keeping cover, if he is! He's going to be there for you, so yeah, take your time! I'm straight, but I like this one girl, and dang, we also have known each other for 2 months, and let me tell you, it's going to take a long time for us to get to know each other and stuff, before I make a move! I accidentally did it before, and had to tell her I wasn't flirting with her! Point is, yeah, it will take time for creating that relationship! Okay, and also how bout you and him, have a one on one convo when no one is around at all, and you guys have a close guy to guy talk, and I think he will confess right there! And if he does, then you confess to him! Be opening and welcome too!

[TaylrJ]

There's no need to be jealous! I don't think you will loose him, because I doubt he'll get with a girl right now, and also no guy would get him right now, since he's saying he is "straight." He's just keeping cover, if he is! He's going to be there for you, so yeah, take your time! I'm straight, but I like this one girl, and dang, we also have known each other for 2 months, and let me tell you, it's going to take a long time for us to get to know each other and stuff, before I make a move! I accidentally did it before, and had to tell her I wasn't flirting with her! Point is, yeah, it will take time for creating that relationship! Okay, and also how bout you and him, have a one on one convo when no one is around at all, and you guys have a close guy to guy talk, and I think he will confess right there! And if he does, then you confess to him! Be opening and welcome too!

Thank you! Key is to take my time. But when you say that.... how? It sounds like a dumb question but your making it sound like there are rules for this relationship to work out. What if he tries to kiss me before I come out to him? I know it's a big WHAT IF, but still. Say I am staying the night and we are sleeping in the same bed. Would it be a bad idea to put my arm around him while sleeping? What I am asking is give me answers to some of the examples I am giving you. Sorta just dumb it down so I can see if certain things would or wouldn't be rushed if I did them, lol. Or how about what's NOT OK to do? What should I avoid doing with him right now? Again, this question is sorta silly. But please take it seriously. Lol, Thanks.

[dontfiguremeout]

No, there isn't really rules. Just go along with him! That's the main thing! If you go along to what he is doing, for at least right now, then everything will be fine. But I would really talk to him! I think for you guys to go along, if you guys talk to each other!