Aceso
October 6th, 2012, 05:05 PM
I don't even know where to start. Everything's going wrong again. And it should be okay but it's not - My parent's don't understand why I need so much sleep but it's because I keep getting hallucinations and night terrors again, I'm doing all this healthy stuff like gym and horses but at the same time my hair's falling out because of all the purging. People are forgetting I ever even cut but right now my ankles are bleeding so much I think they need stitches. I've been in the bathroom for the past half an hour, and my lips are now cracking because I was holding a bottle of bleach to my mouth, and I was five seconds away from downing it all. I'm falling apart and no one can see.
I've barely been able to sleep for the past 3 days...perhaps half an hour at most. I haven't been able to drink anything at all for at least 2. And something new's happening to me, that I haven't had to deal with before too. I'm getting anxiety and panic attacks so severe that I'm involuntarily throwing up alongside the purging. It's in a cycle though, because if I don't purge I get pains so bad in my stomach I feel like I'm dying anyway.
I'm so scared I'm going mad but I have no idea what to do. Apparently everything's fine according to my parents - I've got good grades at school, a social life, I'm doing music and sports again and my health is improving. But underneath that I'm a train about to crash and I don't know what I'm going to do when it does.
Please can anyone give me some advice on anything at all? Something needs to give before it all breaks completely.
I've barely been able to sleep for the past 3 days...perhaps half an hour at most. I haven't been able to drink anything at all for at least 2. And something new's happening to me, that I haven't had to deal with before too. I'm getting anxiety and panic attacks so severe that I'm involuntarily throwing up alongside the purging. It's in a cycle though, because if I don't purge I get pains so bad in my stomach I feel like I'm dying anyway.
I'm so scared I'm going mad but I have no idea what to do. Apparently everything's fine according to my parents - I've got good grades at school, a social life, I'm doing music and sports again and my health is improving. But underneath that I'm a train about to crash and I don't know what I'm going to do when it does.
Please can anyone give me some advice on anything at all? Something needs to give before it all breaks completely.