my attention seeking and obsessiveness is getting the best of me

[ackmedsgirl666]

so basically i have this problem
when i get reallt close to somebody(basically when im in a relationship) i get over obsessive and shit like i get to clingy and call 24/7 and stuff. anyways cody(ex) did seem to mind how i was when we were together but since march all this shit has happened. my boyfriend (current) had him arrested for uttering death threats and 3 counts of a concealed weapon as well as a restraining order against me and that really hurt when that happened because i still wasnt full over my ex. anyways overtime he was on house arrest. he was recently let off house arrest with conditions one being that he not contact me. we were just served his papers the other day. anyways i made the mistake of seeing him in my biyfriends presense. i wanted to see if my ex had changed at all you know from being in jail maybe changed his point of view.... BUT NOPE DEAD WRONG!!!
he talked about my sex life infront of my current, talked about me losing my virginity, us being engaged and then gave me this big guilt trip on how i threw away everything. the reason i had left him was for cheating.
anyways he rosked his probation order to come see and because we kicked him out of my friends apartment he got furious and we had to call the cops. he vanadalized my best friends apartment door. when the cops came they just laughed in our faces but they went to my ex's house and said that he needs to stop....

now hes stopped but i have a problem. i have urges to text him and when i have these urges i do text him. after the scare i got this morning i have officially deleted his number. his mom, brother, and him called the cops on me and put in a complaint and an officer called me this morning and she wants me to call her back but im too scared to. i know its the right thing to do but im scared im gonna end up with criminal harassment charges again. a similar situation happened when i was in grade 7. i became overly obsessive with this boy and i stalked him,,,,, wrote him love letters etc and he didnt like it and he called the cops and had me charged with harassment. i don t want it to happen again...
what should i do?????
i dont wanna fuck up my future with my wonderful boyfriend, my career i have planned, i dont wanna shame my family anymore.....
what can i do?

[FreeFall]

One forever stop contacting your ex. Just stop it. And you HAVE to call the cop back.

It's really not that hard. Think about how a while ago you wanted to have a baby. You're in an unstable, unhappy environment. How's it fair to bring a child into the world like that? You need to fix it.
Think about how your boyfriend feels right now. Didn't he post earlier about how your relationship is on the rocks? Are you so willing to toss away his love and devotion to you? Why's it worth it? How come?

Why're you risking it? Why're you willing to throw it all away? Your ex doesn't love you, your ex doesn't give two flying shits about you actually, he's trying to manipulate and control you. How come you even decided to see him and give him the opportunity to talk about your past sex life? He's your ex, he adds no value to your life, why even keep him in it? When he brought up your sex life, he was trying to drive a wedge. He was trying to make you two uncomfortable, he majorly disrespected you two and your relationship, he was trying to make you remember so you'd cheat on your boyfriend or leave him all together and go back to him. He was trying to control you then and he's trying to control you now. If you don't call the cop back, you'll have let him have that control. It'll be worse if you try to avoid it all, don't let your ex have that satisfaction. He knows you're scared, he wants you to dig your hole deeper. Don't let him win, call her back.

You're an adult now, act like it. Call the cop back. You've got no choice. You made a terrible choice, texting your ex, and you've got to face the consequences. Kids run and hide, you're not a kid anymore, you don't get that luxury. Deal with whatever it is that happens, it'll be worse if you don't. Take the easy way out and just comply, you were in the wrong, you have no defense. Call her back, don't make it harder.

[ackmedsgirl666]

One forever stop contacting your ex. Just stop it. And you HAVE to call the cop back.

It's really not that hard. Think about how a while ago you wanted to have a baby. You're in an unstable, unhappy environment. How's it fair to bring a child into the world like that? You need to fix it.
Think about how your boyfriend feels right now. Didn't he post earlier about how your relationship is on the rocks? Are you so willing to toss away his love and devotion to you? Why's it worth it? How come?

Why're you risking it? Why're you willing to throw it all away? Your ex doesn't love you, your ex doesn't give two flying shits about you actually, he's trying to manipulate and control you. How come you even decided to see him and give him the opportunity to talk about your past sex life? He's your ex, he adds no value to your life, why even keep him in it? When he brought up your sex life, he was trying to drive a wedge. He was trying to make you two uncomfortable, he majorly disrespected you two and your relationship, he was trying to make you remember so you'd cheat on your boyfriend or leave him all together and go back to him. He was trying to control you then and he's trying to control you now. If you don't call the cop back, you'll have let him have that control. It'll be worse if you try to avoid it all, don't let your ex have that satisfaction. He knows you're scared, he wants you to dig your hole deeper. Don't let him win, call her back.

You're an adult now, act like it. Call the cop back. You've got no choice. You made a terrible choice, texting your ex, and you've got to face the consequences. Kids run and hide, you're not a kid anymore, you don't get that luxury. Deal with whatever it is that happens, it'll be worse if you don't. Take the easy way out and just comply, you were in the wrong, you have no defense. Call her back, don't make it harder.


"wow"
thats amazing advice.. have u ever considered being a councellor or something your a good talker. the reason being as to why im scared to call the cop is that i might get in trouble for instigating him to breach his probation. im scared im gonna lose everything if not more. i just wanna be happy... no that ive learned my lesson i know what i have to do

[ackmedslayer556]

thank you so much freefall for giving the advice she finally needed to listen to. i have bin trying for 9 months to get through to her. btw im the current boyfriend

[FreeFall]

"wow"
thats amazing advice.. have u ever considered being a councellor or something your a good talker. the reason being as to why im scared to call the cop is that i might get in trouble for instigating him to breach his probation. im scared im gonna lose everything if not more. i just wanna be happy... no that ive learned my lesson i know what i have to do
I know you're scared, and it's actually great that you're scared, as weird as that sounds (: It means you know you did wrong. It means you really value everything you fear is going to be risked, like really value it all and it means so much to you. It shows you where you stand, and it's good.
And now that you know all that, you can take the steps you need to. It's really the easier way to go, facing that fear. Instead of avoiding it and hiding, you're going to say "I accept what I've done", and you're standing, you're standing showing that all you've got (your dream job, boyfriend, etc.) means so much to you and you're going to do what you need to.

And of course, I wish you the very best of good fortune (:

[ackmedsgirl666]

seriously do you plan on going to school to become a therapist or something
everything you say seems so positive and makes me feel happy :)