I want to go back

[Megson]

I used to starve myself. Not to the point of anorexia, I don't think, but it was enough that I felt hungry throughout most of my day. I was at my skinniest then.

I lost control of my eating habits and I've gained so much weight since then. And I want to go back. I want to lose this hideous fat. I feel like dieting takes too long and its so torturous. NOT eating at all was so much easier.

I don't even feel right in my own home. My dad smokes and is stick-thin. My mom started strict dieting and excersizing daily. My parents are obsessed with being thin all of the sudden, and I'm just their fat cow of a freaking spawn.

I would go back to starving myself in an instant if I could. But for some reason, I just can't. I'm addicted to food. I stress-eat. I'm weak. I hate me.

Maybe I should just take up smoking...

[JollyBarton]

I know the feeling of eating uncontrollably. I have to fight sometimes not to over eat sweets and such, though I face an eating problem now. If you want to stop eating so much, and lose some weight, I suggest eating smaller meals, but eating 5 a day, evenly-ish spaced. This keeps your metabolism going throughout the entire day so you burn more calories. Eat healthy with lots of fiber and protein. That helps burn more calories too and the fiber will help fill you up. Try just going for a calm but not slow walk everyday if you don't like hardcore exercising. This will actually burn more fat calories than doing long and fast running. This may take more time than starving yourself, but it is healthier, and you will be able to maintain your weight when you get to your goal. It's ok to eat a bit of junk food as well. Just try really hard to control it. It may be hard but it is worth it. Smoking is also a bad choice. Cancer and gross smells and stains and such.

Good luck!

[Mortal Coil]

You aren't stress-eating, and recovering did not mark a loss of control. If you return to starving, you will be losing control again.
I know how hard it is to recover; I've been in your situation exactly. But exercising could actually make you lose weight faster than starving.
You can do this. :hug: