fuck fuck fuck

[Mortal Coil]

I can't believe I actually thought I was recovering from my ED. But that thing's a sneaky little bastard and manifested itself in a different way. I used to be a starver, then a binger and purger. Now I'm still restricting (about 500 calories today,) but not binging and purging AND I just realized (yes, that sounds rather strange) that my use of fiber supplements/laxatives is... abuse. Honestly I do it more to fill me up and stop me from eating, but it's also for the traditional use of fiber laxatives. Now that I realized this I feel like utter shit (no pun intended). How could I have been so blind as to see that my disease was merely evolving? FUCK. Why is recovering so hard?

[Nathan Numberless]

Well, most people with EDs don't realize they even have them, so no, you are not blind. If you were trying to stop then I guess you are almost through the road to recovery, but maybe you are to blind to realize THAT :P

[Noirtier]

Alex, hun, I know it's hard recovering. Trust me, I'm recovering from things as well right now. You've been doing so well though! Now, using the fiber supplements/laxatives the way they are intended to be used is perfectly fine. Using them to feel full, or for anything they're not intended for, though, is substance abuse--no matter how minuscule it may be. You can do it though, Alex, I know you can. You've been doing so well with your ED, and I'm really proud of you. Hang in there hun! :hug3: You know where to find me if you ever need to talk!