"Straight" Best Friend

[SamSmythe]

Hey guys, I'm hoping some of you might be able to help me out with a situation. So my best friend since the beginning of middle school goes to the same high school as me now, and we still hang out, just not as often as we did in high school. He knows I'm gay, and I'm pretty sure that he's straight. But for some reason, lately I've been getting a feel that he might be bi. When we're at each others houses, he always makes an effort to show off his body to me. (Lifts his shirt, sags his pants low, scratches his bum, etc.). He touches my butt all the time (which I love :3) and whenever we sit next to each other, he always sits as close as humanly possible (our whole bodies touch) and sometimes reaches over and hugs me. Basically, it seems like we both like when we touch.

I'm still not convinced that he's bi, but all of the stuff he does drives me crazy. I don't know what to do.

[Teddyking]

I have the same issue check out my post here:
http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=153394

If you want to we can probably help each other through this! :)

[Sean4U]

Since he knows you're gay and hasn't done anything or made any suggestions other than this, I'd say just let things happen as they happen....my best friend is straight and has known I'm gay since I first came out when I was 14....and he hugs and sits close and even puts his arm around me but NOTHING else has happened and never will....we love each other as best buds.....same may be with him and you

[SamSmythe]

Oh that sounds really similar to what I'm going through! I love whenever he decides to touch or cuddle me, but at the same time I don't want to say anything or do anything because I don't know why he's doing it. If I ask him about it and he realises that I know about it or enjoy it, then he may stop and our relationship (which I love) might change.

[Robinblake]

I would work into a conversation and simply ask him. If you think it might be offending just pay close attention and he might come out. It could save you trouble.

[SamSmythe]

Every time I bring it up (Wow, George, we sure do touch a lot) he always says something like "Well I just like touching you", but I can't help but feel that he doesn't mean it. :(

[Invisible Ninja]

If you guys are really good friends, then you should just ask him what he's up to. Tell him, (because he enjoys touching you) that you don't mind whatever he's doing, but you don't want to make him feel "uncomfortable". That is an easy way to lead into a conversation, and maybe even a "confession".

[SamSmythe]

But like I said, I'm not sure if he enjoys touching me or not. It seems like he does, but I might be reading into things. If I ask him straight up "do you like when we touch" and he doesn't, then things would become awkward really fast.

[TigerBoy]

But like I said, I'm not sure if he enjoys touching me or not. It seems like he does, but I might be reading into things. If I ask him straight up "do you like when we touch" and he doesn't, then things would become awkward really fast.

I was kind of in the same place with my bf until one time we were a little extra cuddly and then just kissed. I'd kissed him on his head a few times before that, so that made it a bit more obvious what I was feeling.

Just make sure he knows you like what he's doing when he hugs you, snuggle into it and stuff. If your sitting close see if he's ok with you laying your head in his lap if your watching tv. So every time he does something you need to do something back to show its nice, then he may try more. That way its at his pace and he will feel more confident and in control of things.

He may just be working up the courage to make more of a move, or he may still be deciding whether he likes it in a friendly way or if it means more.

[SamSmythe]

I was kind of in the same place with my bf until one time we were a little extra cuddly and then just kissed. I'd kissed him on his head a few times before that, so that made it a bit more obvious what I was feeling.

Just make sure he knows you like what he's doing when he hugs you, snuggle into it and stuff. If your sitting close see if he's ok with you laying your head in his lap if your watching tv. So every time he does something you need to do something back to show its nice, then he may try more. That way its at his pace and he will feel more confident and in control of things.

He may just be working up the courage to make more of a move, or he may still be deciding whether he likes it in a friendly way or if it means more.

I'll try this tomorrow... thanks :)

[SamSmythe]

Ok, so last night I asked him over for a sleepover since we're hanging out this afternoon. He said sure so we went down to the basement and he sat on the couch. I sat right next to him, and he asked me why I was so close to him when there was lots of empty space on the couch. I told him that I like being next to him, and he just sort of said oh, ok, and then moved in closer. For the rest of the night he would sometimes move away (which made me sad) but then he'd move even closer... I'm even more confused now. :confused:

I don't have the courage to say anything or make any sort of move (hug him, snuggle, etc.) :(

[Overcast]

hmm, thats a tricky one. he might be bi, and have something for you, or you he might just be the type to be close to his friends- like some are. we don't know him personally, so you would be better to judge that, but even if he is, just assure him your still friends (unless it leads to something more).

Maybe just give it some time, and see how it plays out, if you rush it and ask him, it might make things awkward (just saying).

[Danny_boi 16]

He might be bi, or since he knows your gay, wants to make fell as welcomed as possible. Remember its something still knew to him, and this is how he shows it.

[Teddyking]

I think I might try this as well

[gig-guy]

sometimes, you just gotta go out on a limb and ask: where are we in our friendship?

[Bumpin Bass]

Just straight up ask him, "So, why do you always want to touch me lately? Not that I'm complaining, I just want to know." If he wants something from you or just wants to come out to you, he will and you have a green light to do as you please with what he tells you. Just make him feel like its a safe place for him to talk about anything with you and that you won't judge him.

[averagemuscleguy]

Just talk to him about it. Your probably both really horny, and if i knew my best friend was gay, i would definitely try something even if i was straight :)

[SamSmythe]

Just straight up ask him, "So, why do you always want to touch me lately? Not that I'm complaining, I just want to know." If he wants something from you or just wants to come out to you, he will and you have a green light to do as you please with what he tells you. Just make him feel like its a safe place for him to talk about anything with you and that you won't judge him.

Would it be appropriate to do it with other people around? Or should I wait until we're alone again?

Just talk to him about it. Your probably both really horny, and if i knew my best friend was gay, i would definitely try something even if i was straight :)

I figured it had something to do with his horniness :P You don't think he'd be afraid of coming onto someone who might be attracted to him?

[pankakeman]

The best thing in my opinion is to not question it. Just let it flow and be as it may. My friend does this to me all the time, and more.

Although he may just be teasing you, so if you feel that's the case stay stubborn and keep it at a slow pace until you feel that your friend is giving you clear signs that je wants this things you guys have created to go further. ;)

[Allain1996]

Well, I only know one guy that's for sure (come out) gay, and he isn't exactly my friend.
All of my other friends are straight to the best of my knowledge (one is iffy, but nothing has been said).
To answer the OP's question, in my opinion, your friend is probably just trying to make you feel ok about being gay. Having a friend like that is the best thing you could have probably, because being gay is who you are, not something you can change!

[TigerBoy]

Would it be appropriate to do it with other people around? Or should I wait until we're alone again?

I wouldn't do anything too obvious with other people around : even if they are 100% ok with it, they might still react and spoil the moment anyway.


I figured it had something to do with his horniness :P You don't think he'd be afraid of coming onto someone who might be attracted to him?
The opposite - if he has gay feelings (curiosity or whatever) you are safer for him to approach, and if you give signals you like his attention its only going to encourage him. If he was 100% straight but confident maybe he'd be ok with some things, but constant touching etc would be unlikely.

[ThatGuy69]

He may just be interested in your body or maybe he is bi, ask him

[resss]

I think maybe he is curious