Help me!! Best friend Experimenting?! Am I gay? Is he gay?

[Teddyking]

One of my best friends doesn't seem gay but he sometimes does things that seem like he is flirting like playing with my hair or holding my body when he sleeps over at my house. I'm not sure what to ask him and if I should say anything at all. Also he likes to touch me,and I like it. Does this mean I'm gay? Does this mean he's gay?

Please lots of help is need for so many questions!!!

[Sph2015]

It doesn't make you or him gay. Don't worry about it.

[Giles]

One of my best friends doesn't seem gay but

You should forget this as soon as possible.

Doing the things you've described doesn't make him gay and nor does it make you gay. No single action or thought can make someone change what they believe to be their sexuality. Chances are that he's just curious, however, he may well be gay, bi or identify as any number of other sexualities. You're just as normal for liking it because you will also be curious about things like this.

[Teddyking]

Yeah but now I'm not really sure what to say to him. On one hand I really like it, on the other, I'm just confused

[Sph2015]

Then just leave it alone. If you don't know what to say, don't say anything

[Teddyking]

I'm scared that if I say nothing our relationship might become awkward, and this will ruin our relationship. :( so I need to say something, I'm not sure what to though.

[SamSmythe]

I know exactly how you feel - my best friend and I have had this relationship for the past several months. I think the best thing to do would be to just let things happen for a while. If he keeps flirting more and more, then react to it in a way that lets him know that you recognise what he's doing.

Just the other day my best friend hugged and squeezed me at the lunch table, which I loved. I tried not to be too enthusiastic about it (I'm still not sure if he realises that what he's doing makes me happy) but I told him that I liked the hug.

[Teddyking]

I really like the feeling it gives me though. He makes me feel so happy!

[SamSmythe]

What other stuff does he do?

[Teddyking]

He hugs me and touches me a lot. He also plays with my face and other things.

[SamSmythe]

Maybe you should start hugging him... if he takes it well, then you could start talking about how you both hug a lot or something.

[SamSmythe]

Do you ever flirt back with him?

[Diverperry]

me and my best friend do that. it's not gay at all for us so i guess it depends how close you are with your friend

[Teddyking]

Yeah we both flirt and were very close

[jegoss02]

If your very close and what you say is true then I think he likes you. I meant not all gay guys go around hugging people willy nilly. I think he enjoys hugging and touching you as much you do. So I say take a stab. Tell him your gay first. He might tell you a little something. If not, after a couple of days have passed and he is Linda used to the idea of you being gay, tell him how good if a friend he is. Let him know what he is to you. It should work out fine if your right about it all. Best of luck. :)

[Censorious]

if you're very close, and everything you've said is true, I'd say go for it. Tell him that you might not be straight and would like to maybe experiment with him. If he reacts badly and you still want to be friends, just blow it off and say that you were just kidding. If he reacts positively, go ahead and experiment

[Pyro99]

I am almost completely positive that he isn't. Hormones and puberty, my friend!

[TigerBoy]

No single action or thought can make someone change what they believe to be their sexuality.

Totally agree with everything Giles said. I have two straight friends who are really flirty and will often sit with their arms around each other or on their laps - one of them has had a girlfriend and as far as I'm aware there is nothing between them (I could be wrong but its not my business).

On the other hand, my boyfriend and I were always pretty affectionate and cuddling for years before we became a couple, and for us it started out as a friendly / brotherly thing but at some point in the last year (roughly) it was more until we kissed.

So I'd just carry on as you are, see where it goes and don't worry about it : with each others help you'll have a safe way of working out who you are and what you want, which seems ideal to me.

[MuscleTeen98]

Just ask him straight up, if there is any feelings that he may have for you, then just experiment... try j/o w/ eachother. its all entirely normal, just talk to him, nothing will change if you dont...

[Danny_boi 16]

It doesn't make you or him gay. Don't worry about it.

Don't begin to label yourself so soon. And don't go off labeling off other people. just take is slow, and find yourself a little more.

[West Coast Sheriff]

Maybe, but I think it's just curiosity and you should try experimenting with girls aswell to find out your sexuality. Good luck:D

[Teddyking]

Thanks guys I guess I can talk to him and see if he feels the same.

[gig-guy]

if you like it, dont freak out. just enjoy it

[pankakeman]

Just because he touches you doesnt make you or him gay, it's just that you guys have a chance to form a sexual relationship, in which you could explore different things that some others don't get the chance to. Of it feels right, then you should do it. It's not gay, it's just experimentation.

[IVIodern]

Just ask him, if your that close.

[jokermaster101]

maybe he is just super frienly and open. but just ask him about it.

[joeythatguy]

I do that to my buddy don't sweat it dude :)

[Castle of Glass]

if he is your super super good friend, ask him if he was experimenting

[Aidoon123]

Then whats wrong with it. If you like it and he likes it let it flow. Dont let the stereotype get you down

[wish_master_TWA]

Dude, your hormones are going INSANE, and will want ANYTHING dealing with sex ;) don't worry about it, you're not gay, you just want anything todo with sex :D

[zerosix22]

Maybe what you feel is bromance. :)

[xMr.CoolGuyx]

Doesn't make either of you gay, just a stage or your just curious. Not really any different than a girl touching you?

[alexkun]

dont worry about it.. just go with it.. have fun with him.. and open yourself to anything.. thats the best way to find out who you are.. and if it turns out you like it.. well.. it means you just found out who you are.. gay or bi.. it doesnt matter.. whatever you are comfortable with is fine... just dont be afraid to experiment new things... i did it and it was amazing.. now im bi.. and happy

[Tinker]

ya just ask me if he has any feeling towards you and take i from there

[Its_edward_guys]

You're only gay if you want to be in a relationship with him. Everything else is just experimenting

[aldabanana]

Yea, it doesn't make you gay. If you like it, just tell your friend you're curious and take it slow from there.

[Tyler44441]

It's ok. It doesn't mean your gay. You're just going through an experimental phase.

[ThatGuy69]

He may be gay, but you liking it is because it's new, you could join in if you like it

[ruts]

nope!! i think neither of u guys r gay... ! its fine! this stage of confusion will surely pass!!....

[PaPa]

It doesn't make you or him gay. Don't worry about it.

True!

[nick666]

If you want to ask him, maybe ease into it and don't make it too confronting?

[Bradley 97]

READ THIS!!!! ok im gay so this is good info! ok I have been asked 100+ times if I was guy every time I was asked I said no etc.. but one day when It wasn't just some kid trying to be rude and it was my friend he asked I just said yes and he was cool with it! so I say just ask him and if he is... so what? he was your friend before don't let something so little change a friendship and maybe you are maybe you aren't well maybe if yall talk about it and try a couple things you will find out who and what you really are even if you don't want to be gay and you were there is nothing wrong with it! I hated considering Im gay at first but now im glad I am who I am! I hope I helped I have contact info have any questions don't hesitate!

[dommy99]

main question is do you want to be ?? If you do let it go further if you just talk to him he's your bestfriend he'll understand

[Irishperson15]

i do that to my best friend, and he likes it, but i know that he's straight, i think it is just the human contact that they like

[aldabanana]

If u feel ready, then let him know ur interested and starrt experimenting and see if u like it

[resss]

Just let things happen naturally

[Atmymtdg57]

That makes neither one of you gay

[BakeBake]

One of my best friends doesn't seem gay but he sometimes does things that seem like he is flirting like playing with my hair or holding my body when he sleeps over at my house. I'm not sure what to ask him and if I should say anything at all. Also he likes to touch me,and I like it. Does this mean I'm gay? Does this mean he's gay?

Please lots of help is need for so many questions!!!

no neither of you are gay. Gay means that a man is in love with another man and those two men want to get married and spend the rest of your lives together. And I am sure that you don't want to do that. You guys can get freaky with each other, such as: Jacking off together, Handjobs, Blowjobs, Even anal, and not be considered gay, because gay doesn't relate to an activity. So have fun with it, you are lucky, not every boy gets that type of opportunity.

[TigerBoy]

no neither of you are gay. Gay means that a man is in love with another man and those two men want to get married and spend the rest of your lives together. And I am sure that you don't want to do that. You guys can get freaky with each other, such as: Jacking off together, Handjobs, Blowjobs, Even anal, and not be considered gay, because gay doesn't relate to an activity. So have fun with it, you are lucky, not every boy gets that type of opportunity.

You've obviously never heard of casual sex. There are plenty of people - gay and straight- who have sex for pleasure with no commitment.

I guess you also missed the part where the OP was talking about his feelings and how his friend made him happy. He didn't talk about how turned on his friend made him, he only talked about enjoying cuddling and suddenly you're the one talking about anal sex.

For your benefit as much as the OP:

If you are turned on by guys and enjoy sex with guys you are most likely not 100% straight
If you fool around with a friend because you are horny but you aren't attracted to guys as such, then that will most likely just be down to hormones.

You just need to be honest with yourself about which it is, because society will mess with your head by trying to force you into the 'straight' mould, which makes this a harder time than it needs to be for the 1 person in 5 (approx) who does enjoy relationships with the same sex.

Either way have fun and enjoy it while you work it out.

[DepartInSecret]

I think that next time he plays with your hair or face or does something you like you should tell him that you like it or just make it clear to him that you enjoy it. If he or you wants it to go further make sure that both you and him feel the same way. The last thing you want is either yourself or him to feel forced into it.
If you feel to shy or worried to mention it to him just wait. If he wants something to happen he will ask you. Also the time waiting will help you decide what you want to do.
I hope this helps.

[yerman]

Nope! It's just hormones.. You'll work it out :)

[BakeBake]

You've obviously never heard of casual sex. There are plenty of people - gay and straight- who have sex for pleasure with no commitment.

I guess you also missed the part where the OP was talking about his feelings and how his friend made him happy. He didn't talk about how turned on his friend made him, he only talked about enjoying cuddling and suddenly you're the one talking about anal sex.

For your benefit as much as the OP:

If you are turned on by guys and enjoy sex with guys you are most likely not 100% straight
If you fool around with a friend because you are horny but you aren't attracted to guys as such, then that will most likely just be down to hormones.

You just need to be honest with yourself about which it is, because society will mess with your head by trying to force you into the 'straight' mould, which makes this a harder time than it needs to be for the 1 person in 5 (approx) who does enjoy relationships with the same sex.

Either way have fun and enjoy it while you work it out.

I said there is no problem with what they are doing, and they could do even more things past what they are doing and they won't be considered gay...

[TigerBoy]

I said there is no problem with what they are doing, and they could do even more things past what they are doing and they won't be considered gay...
It was the 'wanting to get married' definition of gay I was mainly picking up on.

And as for 'x y and z don't make you gay', at some point if guys want to do that stuff with other guys it does say that they aren't entirely straight.

I wouldn't want to impose my idea of what 'that point' is on someone, I think it is up to the individual to work out. Equally I don't think it is helpful to consider being gay or bi as a problem, and feeling obliged to reassure people 'its ok it doesn't make you gay'. Who gives a fuck really? 1 in 5 people like same-sex sex.

Instead of telling people 'its ok it doesn't make you gay' we should be telling them 'its ok, you are allowed to do whatever feels good for you'.

[NephilimAzrael]

Tiger Boy is really on the right track (no offense BakeBake) whatever makes u happy is what u should go w/, and if u both like it, u may not be straight, not a bad thing, but y worry bout or focus on labels now? U like intimate physical content, and I assume u share a close emotional bond, so see to what Levels those 2 factors (physical and emotional) stretch, then after a while, u 2 will both have better ideas of who u r =) as for asking him, next time he plays w/ ur hair or face, gives and intense hug, or wraps himself around u while he's awake at a sleep over, just be like "This is really nice, I like it :) do u?" And let it flow

*also maybe return the gesture? Play w/ his hair or face, hug him back really affectionately, and if possible, wrap urself around him as he does to u if at all possible, or if it's a spooning-type gesture, cuddle into his embrace, maybe turn around so u guys r face-to-face like mere inches away? It could all be hormones as every1 says, but u can't be sure what u see in the distance if u don't get closer, and if u rn't straight, so what? =)



Please don't post consecutively. -StoppingTime

[coolman12]

its fine just enjoy it ask him to jerk

[Scottydog]

It doesn't make either of you gay! Only say things that you think you would both be comfortable talking about etc!

[Youngboii]

Most people go through the experimental age, i know many friends mutal masturbate never done it my self but thats what makes us different
:D

[jgjkk]

no and no, me and my best friend fool around all the time like that (nothing sexual) it's just funny

[xJohn]

Sounds like you are on a good path... You said it yourself, he makes you happy!

[Colton96]

It doesn't mean you're gay but he very well might be

[xXl0sth0peXx]

Please do not post in threads older than 2 months. :locked: