Falling for my best friend... again.

[BananaNarwhal]

The story starts off 2 years ago at the beginning of freshman year. I met this girl during summer band and we started dating the first month of school, a bit early i know but we thought we hit it off really well and truth be it known, we barely knew eachother. After a short 3 weeks we ended up breaking up. However, we then became best friends and we have been even until now, beginning of junior year. Ive always been there for her and every now and then we bring up emotions and stuff and somehow it never gets awkward.

So here is where i need advice on. She recently just broke up with this guy that she was with for 4 months, not that long i know, but he was a really good guy for her. i even became friends with him and it made her really happy that her before and her best friend were friends. Well, he lost feelings for her and he broke up with her a week ago. She has never had a boyfriend like him before and she became really attached and she is pretty devastated. She doesnt know how to feel and me being her bestfriend i have always been there to comfort her when no one else has.

Long story short. I still talk to him because we are still cool with eachother and i eventually told him i still had feelings for her. And i also told her my feelings and she ended up feeling the same towards me, and my question is..

How long should i wait for her feelings to stabilize before i can ask her to be my girlfriend? she told me if she and him were to ever get together again, and he confirmed they wouldnt, then she would leave anyone for him. Should i be worried? what should i do or say?

[FreeFall]

Yes be worried. Regardless of wording she's said this ,"I cannot fully commit myself to anyone because at this point in time my feelings for the guy I loved will never go away. Be warned, when he says jump I'll ask how high and start hopping, no I'm not sorry, all other feelings be damned."

Sadly you've spun a web. You've told him you like her, and you've told her. So now you can either act on those or be seen as "not liking her as much as everyone thought you did." You should've formed a plan and waited before saying anything, not only that but you told her at a time when she was emotionally unstable after a recent break up with a guy she was head over heels for. Bad move.

Do not trust what her ex is saying at 100% value, take it with a grain of salt. A long time ago you were once her ex-boyfriend too, now look where you are.

I'm not sure how long you need to wait given her current situation. Too long will have her both mourning over her lost relationship and worried about your feelings for her, too soon and you may possibly risk being the rebound. Wait maybe 2-3 days at most, see if she seems stabilized or still "woe is me the love of my teenage life!" If she's still mourning and trying to heal her broken heart, give it an extra day.

If you see any possible romantic re-connection between her and her ex, regardless of what he's said, you fight like hell for her. You only throw in the towel when you know all hope is lost or she tells you point blank it's only him she wants.

[DerBear]

Yes be worried. Regardless of wording she's said this ,"I cannot fully commit myself to anyone because at this point in time my feelings for the guy I loved will never go away. Be warned, when he says jump I'll ask how high and start hopping, no I'm not sorry, all other feelings be damned."

Sadly you've spun a web. You've told him you like her, and you've told her. So now you can either act on those or be seen as "not liking her as much as everyone thought you did." You should've formed a plan and waited before saying anything, not only that but you told her at a time when she was emotionally unstable after a recent break up with a guy she was head over heels for. Bad move.

Do not trust what her ex is saying at 100% value, take it with a grain of salt. A long time ago you were once her ex-boyfriend too, now look where you are.

I'm not sure how long you need to wait given her current situation. Too long will have her both mourning over her lost relationship and worried about your feelings for her, too soon and you may possibly risk being the rebound. Wait maybe 2-3 days at most, see if she seems stabilized or still "woe is me the love of my teenage life!" If she's still mourning and trying to heal her broken heart, give it an extra day.

If you see any possible romantic re-connection between her and her ex, regardless of what he's said, you fight like hell for her. You only throw in the towel when you know all hope is lost or she tells you point blank it's only him she wants.

This was an excellent answer and I agree with this completely. So I won't repeat everything FreeFall has said.

I will however re-confirm one point. Honeslty I would wait quite awhile as right now she is in the mind frame of "I can't stay in a relationship because I still have strong feelings for him" so I wouldn't get her into a relationship. Right now she needs a friend, more than a boy friend.

So just be a friend, comfort her and then in the future maybe re-assess the situation.

This would be the best thing to do.