going insain

[struggling]

so im new but i will probably just lurk and i wont post much but i had a question.
at first when i started cutting it didnt bleed much and it was only when things went wrong but now there is this little voice in my head that eggs me on and the urge is so strong that it happens before i can even stop myself and i dont seem to feel it. i just feel numb and its deeper and i feel insain admitting that there is a voice in my head but it is true and i feel like im at war with myself. it is my best friend and my worst enemy.
can someone just let me know if i am mad :confused:

[Bath]

What you described has happened to me so many times before. It's perfectly normal for people who self harm regularly or have just started self harming, especially cutting.

You are not mad, no more than the rest of us. Everybody deals with things differently and goes through different troubles. If you find yourself in a space where you feel totally out of control, seek help, if you want to try and feel better. By "seek help" I don't mean go to therapy, unless you find that it helps. But I never advocate therapy except as a last resort. Find a friend you can confide in, even if it's a journal. Draw, write, do whatever you can to release how you feel. The voice pushing you further and further can be a lot of stuffed up issues mentally trying to get out, that's the best way I can explain it. If the voice doesn't stop or gets worse, take deep breaths, and find something that helps you. I wish I could give you a cure-all but it depends on so many things. I'm always here if you need to vent, always.