Feel Like It's My Fault

[maramara]

I can't have a normal relationship with anyone. Touch freaks me out. Forget about sex when I'm sober. I have to be totally ripped out of my head to even allow a hand on my back, let alone more intense stuff. I feel like it's my fault that I hate being touched, that I can't seem to let it go. That it won't leave me alone. I feel like I am soiled. Dirty. Nobody can ever love me because that has happened.

[Noirtier]

It's not your fault though. You didn't choose for that to happen to you, you didn't have any control over it. I know you feel like you're soiled and dirty. I know what it's like to feel like no one can ever love you. I've felt like no one can ever love me before. A lot. But there ARE people who love you, whether you realize it or not. I don't know who those people are for you, but I know you have them. I have them, and I don't deserve them in any way, shape, or form. But they're still there. And I have to do my best to believe them if they tell me that they do care about me and love me. And maybe, you need to do the same. I'm always here to help and support you, and so is the rest of VT hun. I know it's hard to go through things like this, but a lot of us know exactly how you feel..