Help me out?

[swag123]

Ok so I'm 17 and I've had a lot of what I believe to be HOCD lately, and Its been killing me with the whole suspense between whether or not Im gay, bi, or straight. I've watched gay porn before, and It does turn me on, but I watch mostly straight porn. And my entire life, I have been straight, and then one night I had like an anxiety attack, didn't sleep, and since then I have been questioning like crazy and its all I can think about. Its hard to pay attention in school and stuff because of it. I've always dated girls and have always been sexually and emotionally attracted to girls, but its like literally after this anxiety attack Im not attracted to anyone if that makes sense. I keep getting these random impulses like questioning myself over whether or not I'm gay or something I'm doing makes me gay. The emotional stress of this is killing me. I need some answers or something to calm me down. I don't want to be gay and that up until like 3 days ago, I was straight with the exception of occasionally watching gay porn, and even then, afterwords I would feel weird and awkward about it and question why I had done it and what I was doing... Any help? Its starting to effect my academic performance and my sleep so i really need answers to this...thanks

[Skyhawk]

Just watching gay porn doesn't make you gay. ;) It's the emotional attraction to members of the same sex that counts.

Getting turned on by gay porn is common because of raging hormones. Hormones won't be the deciding factor of your sexual orientation. Time will.

Give it time, and focus on school. :)

[confusedboy]

Breath.

It's normal to somewhat question your sexuality. You said you were always sexually & mentally attracted to girls. Have you felt this way towards guys?

When I was figuring out if I was gay or not I literally sat myself down and asked myself: "Do you ever see yourself marrying a girl? No. Do you ever see yourself having sex with a girl? No." And I tried visualizing these images. It helped me.

Unless you actually feel like pursuing a meaningful relationship with another guy (dating) or sexual, then you could be bi/gay. Otherwise, I think you're fine.

[swag123]

thanks guys. ive never felt emotionally attracted to a guy before. ive had slight sexual attraction but would never act on it. not even out of fear i just feel like ultimately I wouldnt enjoy it. and when i sit myself down and ask myself like you described i always get the "can you see yourself dating a guy?" "no." routine etc. its the anxiety thats killing me. its worse cuz deep down I know im straight (after all these years that cant just magically change over night right?) or at the most maybe bicurious, but the random thoughts popping in my head and the questioning constantly are so exhausting its ridiculous.

[swag123]

anyone else? its gotten better the last few days but im still really stressed out...

[Nelson]

Hi, honestly from what I've read in this thread I don't think you're gay.

What you need to do is purely focus on school if it matters that much, at 17 your hormones are racing at a million miles an hour, so really all your feeling is hormones.
It's good to see that you have gone thru the 'asking yourself questions' routine, because if you answer no to all or most of them, it's more than likely that you're straight and its just hormones.

Just remember, to be truely gay or bisexual, you need

to have an emotional attraction to the same sex
have a sexual attraction to the same sex


As long as you can say you don't have either of them, you're not gay or bisexual!

Hope this helped!

[swag123]

yeah it definitely helps. Im just still stressed haha. im not sure what really happened. i just dont think that my sexuality could just change basically over night. it was just such a weird experience lol going from anxiety attack to no sleep to questioning. im still just kinda in shock. and i still have some doubts but im getting more relaxed about it and am starting to realize even if i turn out as bi (i think since im not a virgin i cant really be gay) then ill just deal with it then

so im still stressing out lol. has anyone else had an experience like this? ive been straight for 17 years, and suddenly now im questioning?? if anyone has can they explain how they made it through or what the outcome was? i feel like hearing other stories would help me calm down some

Posts Merged. ~StoppingTime

[StoppingTime]

The kind of pornography you watch is just about useless in determining your sexuality.
As said, you need to actually feel the physical and emotional attraction to guys, not just necessarily enjoy their bodies.

And sure, many guys feel like this. Some would call it the "questioning" or "curious" phase of puberty. Even though you are 17, and puberty is most likely winding down, there's still a possibility you could have these thoughts now, as you do.

Most likely, I'm going to have to guess you are straight. But nobody over the internet, or anyone except yourself, can decide that. We can help you of course, but it's up to you to see where your future is, and what kinds of relationships you want to have.

[West Coast Sheriff]

You are definitely straight just because you don't feel attracted to girls anymore doesn't make you gay. You're just still shocked from the anxiety attack which you should get over soon. Good luck:D

[swag123]

yeah i understand you guys can only help me. its just so confusing. cuz right now im almost thinking im gay. and then in like 15 minutes ill catch myself checking out a girl. so it foesnt make sense lol. i dont know what to think anymore

see that was the post i needed fbomb lol. thats the most confusing part. im not attracted to girls right now at all. like im sure i could get one up under the circumstances but still. its just...weird haha hopefully it wears off

Please do not post consecutively, use the edit button. ~StoppingTime

[TryToUnderstandMe]

Ok idk if I am bi or not. HELP!!!
Here is some info:
Dated girls.
Done sexual stuff with girls (very happy with that)
I love girls.
My first bj was from a guy. (wasn't crazy about it)
I think guys are cute.
I have a celebrity crush (Darren Criss)
Never dated a guy.
And only kissed one guy.
Cry over movies, and other stuff.
I act, sing, and dance.


Ok so my situation is that I think guys are cute and I have a obsession over Darren Criss. And my first bj was from a guy. I didn't really like it.
I can't think of guys in a sexual way. The most I would do with a guy is kiss. But i can't think of anything sexual. At all.
What does this mean??? I'm so confused. Help.

[swag123]

Well, Im still feeling a little weird. Its gotten a lot better for sure, and I'm less panicky all the time about it and I feel like my old self more often, but I still have moments where I'll be sitting there and suddenly I'll wonder if something I'm doing makes me gay. I just can't shake this. Im not sure what it is but I can't get it out of my head. Sports are starting soon and I can't get this out of my head...its certainly gotten miles better, but I need some answers...or some way to forget this lol

[Skyhawk]

Things you do don't make you gay. ;) It's the physical and emotional attraction to the same sex that counts.

Like I said earlier, give it time.

When I say "give it time", I don't mean a week or two. I mean anywhere from 1 month to 5 years. In your case I'd give it a few months. It could just be hormones. :)

[swag123]

Yeah i know...I just don't understand. I've literally been straight for my entire life...its the lack of understanding thats killing me...

can someone give me like a checklist or something to run down? Just something to fill in answers too and see where I stand?