Everyone tells me to eat.

[AngryDuck]

I have never been told by a doctor i have an eating disorder. And i dont want to believe i do. But everyone always tells me i never eat. My boyfriends mother even said something. The night i noticed something might be wrong with me is the day i went to church with my boyfriend. I lied about eating breakfast. Then when we got home i spent the day at is house. We had pizza for lunch. I had half a piece. And what they dont know is that i puked it up. And my boyfriend jokingly said "babe you never eat anything!" after i tossed out the rest of my pizza. Then at dinner we had pasta. i had one bite and told my boyfriend i cant eat it. I refused to tell him why. He thought i didnt feel good or something. witch is better then explaining the real reason.
I think im pudgy. Not fat. i know i have some pudge that i can lose. But i know im not fat or obese or anything. And i guess in the back of my head i think that if i dont eat ill lose my little baby fat. But what i really tell myself is that food is gross. And honestly i kinda think it is. Maybe ive just been telling myself that to long and i believe it. but i seriously think food is gross. The whole process. I never, ever, ever, eat in public. I think chewing food in public is just as gross as like farting in public. and just as embarrassing. so i never do it.
But everyone always tried to feed me food. Telling me i need to eat. My boyfriends mother, my friends, my teachers even. and my boyfriend always tells me how worried he is. I try to calm his nerves and say "Oh its fine, i just have a small stomach" And i am a teachers assistant for a teacher. And that class is just before lunch. And he always wants to bring me snacks and sweets and lunch cause he loves to cook, and hes really nice. But i dont want it. And he finds it odd cause every TA he has ever had always loves being his TA cause he feeds them good food. But im just an odd ball.
I dont think its really that much of a problem. Most of the time im actually not hungry at all. But i want opinions. is this bad?

[Noirtier]

Hun, you may not like hearing this, but what people have been saying is right--you have an eating disorder. The first indicator I saw of that was the fact that you puked up the pizza you ate after only eating half a slice. Plain and simple if you don't eat, and you see your body and just dislike how it looks because you think you're fat or pudgy in this case--that's a part of it too. Then, not even feeling hungry plays a factor at times as well. From everything that I have heard you say and been able to tell, you have an eating disorder. Now, you have to take the step towards recovery by admitting this and working to get better. Hun, it's hard, and I know it is. There are many people on here who struggle with self image and eating disorders--including me. But no matter what, we are here to help you and support you in this, even when it gets hard. If you ever need to talk, we're always here to talk. I would advise you to take that first step to recovery, and it will take dedication. But in the end, it's your choice...

[Nathan Numberless]

What he said, and don't worry, Every mountain can be climbed :D