my boyfriends brother

[TigerBoy]

My best friends younger brother has been my boyfriend since the start of the summer. He's know I was gay for years, his bro came out to everyone because I asked him out. My best friend has no problems with any of that, and he's actually said several times he's really happy it worked out this way.

He knows we've been having sex and trying more stuff, and he's heard us in his bro's room recently and just started asking a few things about what we were doing.

So the thing is, we told him we'd gone all the way a since a couple of weekends ago and he seemed ok and even interested about it, but tbh I think got a bit freaked when he realised that I'm sometimes doing certain things to his bro (which we already explained, usually its the other way round and his bro is doing those things to me :whoops:).

When I say freaked I mean as soon as he realised his bro had bottomed a few times, that was obviously not ok somehow, and he just wanted to drop the subject completely.

We've already talked about this stuff in theory because me and my bf were worried about the law because of the age gap, so I am certain he really doesn't care about all that side of it.

So now I've got all these theories in my head about what he could be thinking, so I want to ask him what's up, and get him to talk about it but I don't want to make it worse. Two things I guess I wanted other peoples thoughts on:


What do you guys think he's thinking? Is he bothered about something or is this just TMI for a straight boy?
I know I'm a little sensitive about the fact I'm bottoming (especially because my bf is younger), but its worrying me that he might somehow think thats ok for me, but not for his brother or something. And basically I worry if I've lost his respect I suppose.

I'm hoping it will just work itself out with time, but I'm afraid to leave it alone if there's a chance it might become a problem between us. He seems ok today, I guess I'm the one who's feeling odd about where we stand right now.

[JimmyIsNowAMan]

1. I'm a bit confused. Maybe your bestie feels that you'll become less of a bestie because his bro is your b/f. It may be a bit threatening to him. But then since your bestie is str8, he should understand that your relationship with his bro is totally different because you and your b/f are gay. He may just need some time to sort it out...But i'd talk more with him about it...maybe include your b/f in the talks. That way everyone hears directly from everyone and no "he said/he said."

2. How you two have sex shouldn't depend on your ages. It's what you both prefer or what you're comfortable with. I'm not sure why your bestie would freak that his bro tries being a bottom. Again, he may just need to get comfortable with the idea of his bro and you taking your relationship to a new level and trying out positions, etc until you and your b/f find your groove. It may be awkward at first, but the 3 of you need to talk. I think it would ease your own sensitivity to this.

I hope this made sense and helped in anyway!

[FreeFall]

Could be TMI. Could be one of those "yea bro, he's on top, in command, yea buddy" things going on in his head, but then it switched. I honestly don't know, that's a weird reaction to have. Maybe after that, you shouldn't let him be so privy to your sexual life? It's a bit rude he asks questions and then sort of shuts away when he finds out the roles have switched.
Definitely though, you and your brother should sit him down and figure it out.

[james wolf]

It's probably a bit TMI, I mean, firstly: No-one really wants to know about their sibling's sex life and secondly: The fact that he's straight and you 2 are gay sort of makes it different. If you were dating his sister he wouldn't really mind, although people tend to be more protective about girls :/ I guess the whole thing about the anus being penetrated is just really quite gross.

[Noirtier]

Honestly? I think it was just TMI for him. Yes, he asked, but he really didn't want to think about those things. Especially with it being his brother, that's something that I think would make a straight guy really uncomfortable to start thinking about. He shouldn't have asked, to be honest, because that's an invasion of your guys' privacy, but you were open enough to tell him. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I would still sit him down and have a talk with him and your boyfriend about it all and to draw clearer lines on what your friend does and does not need to know about your sex life. I wish you the best of luck man!

[Skyhawk]

I doubt your best friend needs to know what goes on when you're shagging your boyfriend. ;)

[Apollo.]

Probably a bit TMI for him man, if you think of it nobody really likes hearing in detail about there friends sex life and nobody likes to hear about there siblings sex life usually. Don't take it to heart he is obviously a good friend if he stuck by you two all the way. I bet most guys would of freaked out if there friend started dating there brother, your lucky to have someone so understanding and accepting it could be worse:). He sounds a decent guy though so if you are really worried just ask him about it, also if you tell him your worried that you have lost his respect he will know you still want to he close friends and that his brother hasn't replaced him.

[Danny_boi 16]

I think its a little TMI. But More i think that he's a little uncomfortable knowing that his brother is bottoming, And I see you also have some Reservations about it as well. It similar to an Episode of Modern Family Cameron's and Mitchell's fathers fight about whose gay son is the "alpha" male.

[wild1]

Things will probably work out fine. One thing you should try hard to do is to stay friends with your bestie even if your relationship with his bro doesn't last. Keep telling him how important he is to you for a lifetime friend. With your bf you should plan on being buds too if your bf relationship with him doesn't go on forever.

[horizonlooker]

He's probably just shocked. I mean, his brother is gay, and the only reason he knows is because of you.
1) He's probably just shocked at what's going on. It's a whole new thing for him.
2) Probably. Topping is a more manly position than bottoming. He's probably worried about his brother being dominated. I can't say for sure that that's what he's thinking, but it might be...That's what I would think.

Basically, if any respect is lost, there's no reason for it. He may feel a little left out because you guys were best friends and now you're dating his brother.
I say just let some times pass and hopefully things will clear up.

[TigerBoy]

Thanks guys it was really helpful to read all your views.

So my bf has kind of spoken to him (I just haven't had a chance to get alone with my best friend). He thinks its a combination of protectiveness (over both of us which is cute) and also maybe some jealousy cos we've always hung out as a threesome - we're still doing that (most breaks and after school), but we will make more of an effort to include him 'just in case'.

Hopefully we can get a chance to clear the air this weekend !

[dontfiguremeout]

Well another thing is he could be kinda overwhelmed and maybe not so comfortable at the moment right now, since it's really only the beginning to him! I think once you have been with his brother for a good amount of time, he will know all your guys' tricks and stuff, and really won't be into it, since in the beginning he doesn't really know, so yeah, he'll be curious to what you guys are doing! And another thing is, he's lived with his brother all his life, so he wants the best for his little bro, and in a way protect him, making sure you aren't treating him bad, or doing things he is not ready to do yet. But yeah, just tell him that you guys don't do anything that you guys are not comfortable with, and if one of you guys were, you guys would draw the line there.

[Cicero]

Its hard for anyone probably. Like a brother and sister, a brother hates hearing (probably) that his sister got her virginity lost. Your friend was probably kinda hurt cause you were his best friend, and probably being protective over his little brother, as an older brother, you feel like you have an obligation to teach them about what youve learned in life, and you wanna try to protect them from everything. You also probably told him to much info for the situation. Also, he probably did feel you deserved to be bottom and him top, because he probably feels his brother should get the best. Which obviously isnt fair to you. Maybe hes also kinda worried about your friendship with him, maybe hes worried that if you two break up, you and him wont be friends? Oh, and one more thing, he probably doesnt like hearing to much about who his younger brother had sex with and what happened. I know if I had a younger brother I wouldnt want to know, nor care, what he did while having sex and all the activities involved, I probably wouldve not minded hearing he had sex, but I wouldnt want all the details. If your friend seems a little awkward about he situation dont stress, it will probably get some taking used to. If you notice hes starting to withdraw from you, then you may proceed to ask him if youdid something wrong, or try asking your bf/his brother about whats going on with him.hopefully ive helped a tad :)

[TigerBoy]

Update:
Ok so just been hanging with him, so I think its all cool. He was the one asking questions but I think he kind of realised he wasn't ready to hear the answers and think about it in graphic detail. Plus like a lot of straight guys I've talked to I think he has this idea that the guy bottoming is doing the guy topping a favour, which is just not true. Many gay guys (like me) prefer to bottom because they get more pleasure that way. So I think we're all good now :-D

Thanks again for all your thoughts : its been really useful to be able to think about all the angles. My relationship with these guys is the most important thing in my life along side my family so it was feeling like a big deal to have something not quite right.

[FreeFall]

I'm glad to hear it's resolved (:

[West Coast Sheriff]

What do you guys think he's thinking? Is he bothered about something or is this just TMI for a straight boy?

It's propably to much information for him. He propably didn't want/need

I know I'm a little sensitive about the fact I'm bottoming (especially because my bf is younger), but its worrying me that he might somehow think thats ok for me, but not for his brother or something. And basically I worry if I've lost his respect I suppose.

Hmmmmm? It think to no who is on top/bottom is a little to much info. Basically it's hard for him to take in because he felt you went a little too far on the details.

[nice]

I think when ever he hears about it he might get the picture in his head so he gets weirded out or just isn't ready to hear it

[DerBear]

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