confused i think.... but not sure

[ackmedslayer556]

ok so heres the story,

me and my gf have bin together for almost 9 months and we are now living together in toronto........ but thing is that up until the past couple months this hasnt bin the best relationship for me...... reason being is cause when we got together she had just broke with her ex and at first everything was fine until one day she went on the bus somewhere and saw her ex....... well thats where it all started going downhill cause that day and there on everytime my back was turned and i wasnt around she was cheated on me with him at first by just macking out with and what not....... well that was until v-day this year when she pretty much blew me off and sent me home early for one and only thing.......... and that was to intenchtionly(sorry my grammer isnt the best) have sex with her ex and cheat on me all the way. so stupid me for about 3 months had no idea that she did that day until she fineally told me and plus 3 more time after that...... so from that point things only got worse with her ex as it got to the point where i had him put in jail ( please dont ask why cause its to much to get into) and after that the cheating stop........... but the love and shit didnt as she was still talking to him on the phone and dating him behind my back for abit. so after a month of him going through the jail stuff the talking fineally stop........ that is until last month she started talking to him on msn again. and that night things were ok cause i made up with her ex so the fighting would stop. but on flip side it kinda made me feel like shit cause she was the happyest she had bin in months.... so anyways theres pretty much the whole story, now to get to i guess the point of all this. iv just bin thinking alot about how she cheated on me and put me through hell but yet cause of how much im deeply in love with her i stayed after all this time. but now to my question for vt, do u really think i made the choice to stay and move this far with her? cause now all in all she is a great girl but cause of everything thats happened my family pretty much doesnt want anything to do with her.

so idk if confused about my feelings toward her now or if its the fact that i made the right choice?????........

anyways please help and be honest on ur replys but no negative ones please

[ackmedsgirl666]

im gonna try and fix things as best as i can
im gonna try harder
its not gonna be easy to fix what ive caused but i know i will eventually come to a conclusion and decide whats best :)
and i know its gonna end up being you

[FreeFall]

Sounds like you haven't forgiven her for cheating. If you really love her as much as you say, and you really want this to work, you've got to let it go and move on since that's what you've chosen.

You've got to learn to trust her again. You can't resent her for this is you've already told her, I love you let's make this work. It will only cause a rift. Granted she destroyed the bond you two had as a couple by being with her ex, pretty much tossed the relationship out of the window. Personally, any affair is the end for me.

But you've taken her back and said you love her, not you've got to stand by what you say and work WITH her, not against her.
But if you feel you can't trust her again, can't move on, can't forgive her, and fear she'll rip the bond again, you're not doing yourself or her any favors by staying. You'll grow to resent each other, more problems will come up, so you've really really got to learn to work with each other on how to grow TOGETHER. You're a couple now, things are 100-100. One person does not simply work on themselves to improve, you both work together to improve each other to help the relationship.

As for your family, stop the info train. This is YOUR relationship, your life. You live together so I'm going to assume you don't live with them. You don't need to tell your family anything about your love life, in fact it's not going to help it. Your family now resents the woman you say you're going to work it out with. Girls don't like being where they aren't wanted, and holiday dinners are going to be awful if they're openly/passive aggressive to her. They won't respect her, they'll put her down, stop telling your family about your relationship, they have no place in it so they don't need to know. Now you're going to have to defend your girlfriend against your family, because if you just let them bad mouth her to you, you're feeding her to the wolves and basically telling them and her "Yes I'm your boyfriend, but I don't respect you or our relationship enough so my mom's totally allowed to call you all these names, should I do anything, probably, but meh." So you've got to shut that down.

[ackmedslayer556]

ok thanks alot freefall that gotta be the best advice i could get atm being that me and her just a deep convo a couple nights ago about everything thats happened.

[Lotsofhumor.com]

Dump her. Now.