Eric57
September 18th, 2012, 10:26 PM
I am 19 and I am gay. I have always found it hard to find people to date around where I live, as I am not into feminine guys and that is what basically all the gay guys around here are. I finally met this guy that was more like me. The thing is, he was older. He is 26. So we are 7 years apart.
This is how it all went down. I'll try make it short for you guys. We went out and we had a good time. We talked a few times after that and went out again. I was very, very nervous. Only because the first date went so well and I was just nervous that it could possibly turn into more. So instead of being myself like the first date, I was kind of awkward, shy, and not very talkative. Basically it just went horribly. We talked a few times after the 2nd date and basically he said he didn't think it would work out between us. He said not because of my personality or anything, but because of the age. He couldn't see himself dating someone who he couldn't even go out to a bar with. It made sense so I just accepted it and left it alone. About a month went by and we didn't talk. After that month, we randomly started talking one day. I told him I still liked him and that if he would consider going out again. He said that he would have no issue with it. He even said that he wouldn't have said yes if he didn't think there was a possibility he could change his mind about it all. So we went out for a 3rd time and again, it sucked. I was so nervous because he was giving me another chance. I blew it big time by acting nervous, awkward, and shy. The next day we talked and he said that he just feels we don't hit it off very well and that doesn't think it will work between us. He said he was so sure that things would be different and that going out a 3rd time would be great, but things didn't change.
At that point, I was just a little frustrated. Because the thing is, I know we would hit it off extremely well. I just get so nervous about the fact that it could possibly lead to dating that it get shy and I don't act like myself. So basically I had someone that I could have possibly dated, but I messed it up big time.
But the thing I am so confused about is me missing him so much. We have known each other for like 6 months, we went out 3 times, and we have never dated. Why do I miss him so much? I don't even know him well enough to miss him as much as I do. Is it me just being dumb? And I know he doesn't feel this way about me. If he did, we would still be talking and going out, but we aren't.... And what makes it worse is that we are friends on Facebook and I see him on there every single day. He likes basically everything I post on Facebook and I like basically everything he posts. So we are always sort of interacting on there, in the sense of liking statuses and stuff. lol
Do you guys think it's just me being ridiculous? This is only the 2nd time I have genuinely had feelings for a guy. So it makes it even worse cause I don't have feelings like this very often. Why do I miss him when we didn't even date and when I feel like he doesn't feel this way about me?
This is how it all went down. I'll try make it short for you guys. We went out and we had a good time. We talked a few times after that and went out again. I was very, very nervous. Only because the first date went so well and I was just nervous that it could possibly turn into more. So instead of being myself like the first date, I was kind of awkward, shy, and not very talkative. Basically it just went horribly. We talked a few times after the 2nd date and basically he said he didn't think it would work out between us. He said not because of my personality or anything, but because of the age. He couldn't see himself dating someone who he couldn't even go out to a bar with. It made sense so I just accepted it and left it alone. About a month went by and we didn't talk. After that month, we randomly started talking one day. I told him I still liked him and that if he would consider going out again. He said that he would have no issue with it. He even said that he wouldn't have said yes if he didn't think there was a possibility he could change his mind about it all. So we went out for a 3rd time and again, it sucked. I was so nervous because he was giving me another chance. I blew it big time by acting nervous, awkward, and shy. The next day we talked and he said that he just feels we don't hit it off very well and that doesn't think it will work between us. He said he was so sure that things would be different and that going out a 3rd time would be great, but things didn't change.
At that point, I was just a little frustrated. Because the thing is, I know we would hit it off extremely well. I just get so nervous about the fact that it could possibly lead to dating that it get shy and I don't act like myself. So basically I had someone that I could have possibly dated, but I messed it up big time.
But the thing I am so confused about is me missing him so much. We have known each other for like 6 months, we went out 3 times, and we have never dated. Why do I miss him so much? I don't even know him well enough to miss him as much as I do. Is it me just being dumb? And I know he doesn't feel this way about me. If he did, we would still be talking and going out, but we aren't.... And what makes it worse is that we are friends on Facebook and I see him on there every single day. He likes basically everything I post on Facebook and I like basically everything he posts. So we are always sort of interacting on there, in the sense of liking statuses and stuff. lol
Do you guys think it's just me being ridiculous? This is only the 2nd time I have genuinely had feelings for a guy. So it makes it even worse cause I don't have feelings like this very often. Why do I miss him when we didn't even date and when I feel like he doesn't feel this way about me?