I'm so afraid.

[maramara]

Everything is spiraling down. I'm so fucking depressed. Nothing but cutting helps. My pills don't help, my therapist doesn't help, my parents are idiots. I don't know if I can do this anymore. Everytime I cut I feel like pressing down and just finishing it. I can't get out of bed. I'm so alone. I'm not eating again, either. It's like a crushing black hole eats me alive every morning. I just want it all to be over so badly. I want to turn off the fucking noise in my head.

[Professional Russian]

Have you told everything to your therapist? If you didnt you probably should. if you dont trust him/her tell one of your friends you trust. If your medication isnt working talk to your therapist about that also. Please dont do anything you'll regret. If anything you can help people with the same problem later on in life. Please dont hurt your self. we need you here to help other people. we do care.

[Noirtier]

The first thing I have to say is I know. I know how it feels to be so depressed that you just want to end it all, to want to do nothing all day because you just cant take it. The pain and "black hole" as you so aptly named it that eats away at you until you're so broken inside that you can't even stand it. To be in pain every single day on the inside, and to never have it lessen or go away. I've been there plenty of times. I've been in your shoes where the only thing that helps seems to be self harm, and I still struggle with self harm a lot. I want you to know that a lot of us here on VT know how you feel, a lot of us feel the same way. That being said, there is still hope. Your pills therapist may not help, your parents may be idiots, but know this. Here on VT, we are here to help. Every day. We may not always get to see it immediately, but we will see it, and we care enough to WANT to help out. Because you don't deserve to feel this pain, to be in this pit that so many of us are. To recover, grow, and learn together--that's what the site is here for. It's hard, but there is still hope to get out of this pit, hope to recover, hope to one day be happy. Don't give up hun. It doesn't happen overnight, it takes time to crawl up out of the pit, to heal. But know that we're here for you if you need us, we always will be. If you ever need anything, feel free to contact me, and I know there's plenty of other people on here who would be more than willing to help too. If nothing else, just know that people know how you feel, here more than anywhere else..

[maramara]

This place is the only thing that really ever helps. This site, as strange as it sounds, as prevented me from killing myself so many times. It just hurts to wake up every morning, to have nobody want to listen to the things you have to say, and this place is wonderful. I'm just so scared that I'm going to do it without thinking. I black out when I cut, and if I go too deep by accident, I don't know what will happen. Deep down, I don't really want to die, but it seems as if my subconscious feels that is the only way to be okay anymore...I need help.

[Noirtier]

Hun, I know... I know... We're all here for you though :hug3: We always will be. We're a community, a family, and we're here to help each other and recover together. I've made a lot of good friends from this site, who have helped me through a lot. You can contact any of us here and we're always more than willing to help. I know you need help, hun. And to be honest, I might try another therapist too, and drop your old one who isn't working, because a different person can do wonders. We're always here for you, and we care about you. Remember that hun...

[xlntjen]

You should open up to how you are feeling.. It always help. If you feel like cutting, tell someone. Cuz many times I told ppl that I wanted to do it, and they help me not wanna do it anymore.. Find ppl who understand cutting.. it makes opening up about it easier. Instant connection, you know.? Its like " Ohh, you understand whats it like to want to cut."
Hope you feel better hun (:

[maramara]

I understand, completely.
If you want to talk, don't hesitate.