Good enough

[Haunted]

Tell me I'm not gay. I just want want someone to hug and comfort me and love me for who I am. A close guy friend, Ive never had close same sex friends. I want him to love me and hold me. Is that gay? I wouldn't want to do anything sexual with him. I just want someone to love me for who I am and place no expectations on me.

I feel like everyone wants me to be something I'm not, someone better than who I am. I can't do it. I need to be me. I've thought about suicide in the past, but I'm not at all serious about it any more. I met another boy and i love him but want him to love me back. Accept me for who I am. and realize it's not gay it's just a strong friendship. That isn't gay is it? Most people would see it as gay.

[Thanatos]

Firstly, you need to stop worry about sexuality labelling. That isn't gay at all, and theres no reason to be worried about it. Around where I live what you are looking for is called a Bromance. That one guy friend that you know will always have your back about anything, be there to talk or listen, and just appreciate and love you in a brotherly way.

Most of the time these relationships take time to develop, you aren't going to meet someone and a week later be like brothers unless you go through some sort of catastrophic/traumatic event together, which I wouldnt wish upon anyone. You need to first build a friendship, and let it develop from there. Trust and respect take time to earn and are necessary for a relationship like this or any other.

I wish you the best of luck in physically finding someone like this, in the mean time if you ever need to talk to a guy, I'm here.

[Haunted]

Yeah we've been friends for a year and a half and are really close. I've told him I love him a few times I don't know if he's taken me seriously though. I've told him lots of my secrets and insecurities but I just want more. It's hard to wait for that kind of relationship to develope. And I don't want to come on too strong and have him think I'm gay. I just want him to understand what I need, and be able to fulfill that need.

[Thanatos]

One simple way to avoid that is instead of saying "Hey man, I love you", say "Ya know, you're like a brother to me." That type of thing, it gets across the fact that you feel that close to him, without the awkward wording that can be misconstrued.

[horizonlooker]

It doesn't have to be sexual. It could be plain 'ol brotherly love!

[Haunted]

I hope he sees it like that. Where I live, you can't so much as put your arm around someone without people thinking its awkward. Anything more than that and they'd stamp you as gay.

Forget what they say! I'll show I love my friends and if who cares what other people think?

[The Mockingjay]

That sounds okay, but as Thanatos said perhaps you could make sure you clarify the fact you love him as a brother and not as a boyfriend/partner. Never try to change yourself to fit into what people consider as normal, as long as you and him are comfortable do what you want! :)

[dontfiguremeout]

No, you are not gay! All you want is a bromance, which is perfectly fine! I mean everyone at one point will want to be in the arms of the same sex for comfort like sisterly or brotherly way! Family is always there for you (most of the time), and yeah, you hug them and everything as family, and sometimes people want to be really close to their friends like family and so that means hug and cuddle, whatever that really isn't sexually related at all, just means you love them a lot that your like family! And don't worry about being someone your not! You need to be you! Don't let anyone else influence you!

[Haunted]

Yeah there's way I would let my family be there for me. They don't know the real me. But thanks a lot y'all! Your advice helped reassure me(:

[dontfiguremeout]

And also a part is that you fantasize for that person to be a part of your family, and what you would do, and how your relationship would you want it to be, so then it really makes you wanna have a bromance!