Boyfriend apparently straight?

[sieg]

So, first off, a few of you may already know that for around 8 months i've been in a relationship. well, a few days ago, that changed. lots of tears, silence and all that crap. we agreed to stay friends but what i'm wondering is the reasoning behind the break up...
I was extremely nice, sweet, and i tried my hardest to keep my temper with him even when things weren't so great. And a few days ago, he broke up with me because someone had guessed that we were going out. weird, right? but it all eventually boiled down to him admittedly saying he was straight. At the time, I accepted this. it made a little bit of sense and it was better than thinking i fucked everything up. but now that I've had some time to think about it, it makes no sense. we've kissed, said we loved each other, and much more. how can you go from loving someone, kissing them, and being very much attracted to them, to exclusively being attracted to the opposite sex in a matter of a few months. ( like 3 or 4 ) He said he liked the idea of the relationship, and that's why we didnt stop at the start. I don't really buy into that. Am i over-analyzing things? Is he straight like he said he is? do you think someone or thing influenced him to end the relationshp prematurely? I don't know guys, help me out here.
P.S. if this belongs in relationships and dating, my apologies. move accordingly. many thanks in advance.

[dontfiguremeout]

Well these are the years where teens find out who they are! So one of the biggest ones is their sexual orientation! Teens want to know what they are, so they try many things, and he tried going out with a guy, but realized he would rather be with a girl. Happens a lot for both ways both sexes!

[Extreme586]

You said it yourself. Your relationship ended as soon as someone had guessed that you two were going out. Maybe he was scared of the idea of everyone thinking he was gay so he told you he wanted to be straight. Not because he didn't have feelings for you but he probably couldn't handle the public image. Also since we are all still trying to figure ourselves out, he might have just come to this realization that he is straight and no longer wants to fool around with you. All though I would put my money on the first one.

Talk to him and ask him if it has anything to do with people knowing about your relationship.

[DerBear]

Okay so there are a few possibilities to why the relationship ended.

The first one would be that because someone else found out that you two were in a relationship with each other that he decided to break it off because he is scared of what the consequences might be or that he is scared of others finding out. Some people just can't deal with the possibilities of what people knowing about a relationship can bring. Its sad that we don't live in a more accepting society but its something that is being slowly changed.

Second of all he is in his teen years and is possibly curious. He might have thought he was gay and actually believed it for a long time but after being in a relationship for x amount of months he has come to the conclusion that he does not share the emotional attraction to boys as he once thought he did. I know this can sound like he has used you as a person but to be honest it is something that can happen during your teen years. People can become confused with their sexuality and sadly someone can end up getting hurt by it. I mean he did say he liked the idea of the relationship but not the actual relationship so I would be thinking this might be the reason.

Third of all, he might be gay or bi and just not love you back the same way and has decided to end things.

Overall I think he is confused and if I were to pick an option that would be the best answer I would say the second thing I pointed out. He is confused about his sexuality but possibly after being in a relationship with another male he has come to the conclusion that he is straight.

You aren't over analyzing things you are just confused over your brake up. However I would go with the second option I highlighted in my post as from what you have said I think this might be the most realistic option however option 1, people knowing about it could be a possibility. But I think overall he is confused and therefore option 2 of what I said would sound more realistic.

You could try talking to him more to get a better understanding. You never know how well it might work out.

Good Luck with the Future and I hope you can draw some help from this post.

[The Mockingjay]

This sounds quite complex, especially on his part, so please don't take anything any of us might say as fact as there could be another explanation completely.

To me it sounds like he's probably scared of being treated differently if people realise that you two are gay - that's likely to be the reason he dumped you when people were beginning to realise. Is your area very homophobic? Are his family religious or likely to react badly to having a gay son? If so that's probably it. Maybe eventually he'll accept himself and be brave enough to come out and be proud of who he is but don't hold yourself back for him. If someone else comes along and you like them, go for it!

Of course he might actually be straight and was just going through a curious phase in which case you should just stand back, leave him alone and allow both of you to move on with your lives else you'll just end up getting hurt. If he starts going out with girls it might be hard to be happy for him for a while but try to be. Good luck! :)

[Matt_2012]

I reckon its because someone found it.

[horizonlooker]

He seems to have been figuring himself out at the extent of your feelings. But, he should of been straight up with you in the beginning and said that he's not completely sure of his sexuality. But, people live and learn. The only thing I can say is that he's either confused or that...well..i'm not sure.
/:

[Abigballofdust]

I think he got scared when word came out you were dating. Which is sad, but still understandable. Not everybody is ready to come out and he may have chosen himself over you.
I don't really buy the 'magic conversion, praise the lord' theory because it sounds unrealistic. Sorry to hear about it, hopefully you find somebody with more courage next time.

[sieg]

well shoot, thanks guys. it's just hard to believe that someone can just turn straight in a few weeks/months. i mean, not to get into detail or anything, but i was pretty sure he was at the least bisexual. but time will heal all wounds, right? oh well. good learning experince i suppose.

[TigerBoy]

Everyone's given some great advice already so I mainly just wanted to send an e-hug.

I hope you guys can at least keep a friendship going as he obviously cares about you. In your position I'd give him and you some time for your feelings to settle: you don't need a rebound relationship, and he might just need some time to deal with things.