Akasuki
September 15th, 2012, 12:54 AM
I'm not sure on whether to put this in Relationships & Dating or here, so I'm just gonna settle with this.
My "girl"friend told me that he's female-to-male transgender on New Years after we've been dating for a little over a year at the time. We've been together for almost 2 now. His name is Oliver.
I've done a pretty good job at keeping it to myself up until now. We decided that he should come out to a few people so we could have people to talk to about it, so we decided on our closest friends and his mother and sister.
All of our friends said it was okay, but his mother and sister are almost completely opposite.
The 13th was his 18th birthday and he was worrying about it because of the cards that say " daughter " on them and you know, the other obvious things that would bother him.
I talked about it to his mother and sister and they think it's because of hormonal changes and because he just likes to look like a guy. I tried telling them that crossdressing and being transgender are completely different things.
They told me that they will never call him their son/brother, and I can totally understand that because it's hard to make such a difficult transition.
They already suspected that he was transgender though because he wears binders and he doesn't shave his legs.
As for his father, we can't tell him about it because he's always making comments about how he never wanted a son and that he's happy he has two daughters. He also makes jokes about how Oliver should be 'girlier' and wear dresses, skirts, etc.
We think he would flip out if we told him Oliver was a boy, so that's out of the question. And that also sucks because that means we have to keep everything on the DL.
I would like to know if there is anything we could say to his mother and sister to make them understand better. They're not completely opposed to it. They have friends who are transgender, but when it comes to family... you know how it is. Oh, and they were fine with him being lesbian.
Okay, so here's my viewpoint.
I thought I was lesbian for years. Now I have no idea what I am because when I think about it, I'm totally okay with him being FTM. I'm okay with both of the surgeries. The only thing I'm not okay with is him taking testosterone, but he doesn't want to do that either so we're good with that.
He doesn't want a packer as of right now but I'm kind of trying to convince him into trying one because it might make him feel better about himself ( he has low self esteem like a lot of people who are transgender do ).
I'm okay with strap-ons and everything else like that. I don't mind it at all and if he wants to try it someday, then I will support it.
I support everything he does, says, and wants. We agree on everything about the topic.
It's just that I have no idea what I am anymore. Labels don't mean much to me, but it'd be nice to know what I'm considered.
I would never like or feel attracted to a born man. I have no attraction to their personalities or bodies whatsoever, but there's something about FTMs that I find... attractive, I guess. I never really thought about it until Oliver said he was one.
I could also never like MTFs. I have never once in my life have been attracted to them, either.
I'd love to know what I was. I've been thinking pansexual, but doesn't that mean I don't care about genders, just personalities? If so, then that's wrong because I'm not attracted to born men or MTFs. :/
Thank you for your help. It's been driving me crazy these past few months. :whoops:
My "girl"friend told me that he's female-to-male transgender on New Years after we've been dating for a little over a year at the time. We've been together for almost 2 now. His name is Oliver.
I've done a pretty good job at keeping it to myself up until now. We decided that he should come out to a few people so we could have people to talk to about it, so we decided on our closest friends and his mother and sister.
All of our friends said it was okay, but his mother and sister are almost completely opposite.
The 13th was his 18th birthday and he was worrying about it because of the cards that say " daughter " on them and you know, the other obvious things that would bother him.
I talked about it to his mother and sister and they think it's because of hormonal changes and because he just likes to look like a guy. I tried telling them that crossdressing and being transgender are completely different things.
They told me that they will never call him their son/brother, and I can totally understand that because it's hard to make such a difficult transition.
They already suspected that he was transgender though because he wears binders and he doesn't shave his legs.
As for his father, we can't tell him about it because he's always making comments about how he never wanted a son and that he's happy he has two daughters. He also makes jokes about how Oliver should be 'girlier' and wear dresses, skirts, etc.
We think he would flip out if we told him Oliver was a boy, so that's out of the question. And that also sucks because that means we have to keep everything on the DL.
I would like to know if there is anything we could say to his mother and sister to make them understand better. They're not completely opposed to it. They have friends who are transgender, but when it comes to family... you know how it is. Oh, and they were fine with him being lesbian.
Okay, so here's my viewpoint.
I thought I was lesbian for years. Now I have no idea what I am because when I think about it, I'm totally okay with him being FTM. I'm okay with both of the surgeries. The only thing I'm not okay with is him taking testosterone, but he doesn't want to do that either so we're good with that.
He doesn't want a packer as of right now but I'm kind of trying to convince him into trying one because it might make him feel better about himself ( he has low self esteem like a lot of people who are transgender do ).
I'm okay with strap-ons and everything else like that. I don't mind it at all and if he wants to try it someday, then I will support it.
I support everything he does, says, and wants. We agree on everything about the topic.
It's just that I have no idea what I am anymore. Labels don't mean much to me, but it'd be nice to know what I'm considered.
I would never like or feel attracted to a born man. I have no attraction to their personalities or bodies whatsoever, but there's something about FTMs that I find... attractive, I guess. I never really thought about it until Oliver said he was one.
I could also never like MTFs. I have never once in my life have been attracted to them, either.
I'd love to know what I was. I've been thinking pansexual, but doesn't that mean I don't care about genders, just personalities? If so, then that's wrong because I'm not attracted to born men or MTFs. :/
Thank you for your help. It's been driving me crazy these past few months. :whoops: