Sex with older girl

[Martrix98_98]

I'm 14. One week ago I had sex with 22-years old girl. We had sex only once, on our first date and she has broken up with me. I miss her so much.
She seduced me and we were making love (my first sex, I had been a virgin before). After sex I asked her if she wanna be my girlfriend, but she refused and said she regretted we had had sex. :(
Then, I realised I fell in love. I love her. But for her it was only casual sex.
I have been calling her for few days. She apologized me for this, she hadn't expected that I'm so sensitive and it was her mistake. But I still love her. :(
I don't know what to do...

[Alliegator]

Woah.
1. That's rape, it's technically called statutory rape and she could be in a lot of legal trouble , no matter if you said it was okay or you choose not to press charges or anything. The minimum age of consent is 16 depending on your state so careful!
2. I think you took it waaaaaay too fast it was a first date tbh you probably shouldnt ask a girl to be gf/bf on first date.
3. I dont think you're in love like being honest here it was one date one time, she most likely thought of it as a one night stand or something and you probably scared her when you talked about a relationship.
tbh get over her because she probably wont date you or anything, it was a one time thing i'm so sorry to put it harshly!!

[Martrix98_98]

It's not rape in Poland. It's forbidden, but not as rape. In Poland 22-years old girl who has sex with boy under 15 can be sentenced for suspended sentence.

[FreeFall]

In America we call that statutory rape. Consensual sex with someone underage is still rape.
And on the first date? Wow she wasted no time.

Nor do you love her. This is why kids shouldn't have sex young/until they're ready.
Now you're infatuated with her and she wants nothing to do with you. There was a chemical/hormonal reaction in your body and being so young it's impacted your brain more than it would someone more mature, not necessarily older. Your body's saying "hey, sex partner!" and has bonded to her. You think you love her, you don't.

She most likely used you for sex. Sorry to say it, but you were just a recreational purpose to her. She's 22. That's enough of a red flag, didn't you ever stop to wonder what she saw in a 14 year old and not in the fellow members of her age group or even older at least? Talk to a counselor to help break the one sided bond. You can break it on your own, known as getting over it, but it'd be a lot easier and you could really air out all you want to say.

[Martrix98_98]

She's 22. That's enough of a red flag, didn't you ever stop to wonder what she saw in a 14 year old and not in the fellow members of her age group or even older at least?
I wonder why me. I know that's unusual, having sex with 8 years younger boy. I can't believe she did it only for sex. What is so exciting in having sex with much younger boy? Guys at her age are better in bed than me, so why did she choose me just for sex? I thought she fell in love at first sight too...

[FreeFall]

It's exciting because she had control. She could manipulate you and your young mind. She fed off of your hormones and tricked you into thinking there was something there, you said yourself you were seduced.
Maybe she thought you'd be one of the typical teen boys, horny and apathetic. She probably thought she'd be able to use you as a booty call, that sex would mean nothing to you just like it meant nothing to her. She didn't take into account that your mind's much more undeveloped than her's and would latch on and make sex more than something.

That's why when you asked her out she basically had an "oh crap, he thinks this means something now I have to break it off" reaction. she held all the cards in her hand, but you went to take a peek so she chucked them back in her box and left.

Older women, and men, take younger people to have power, control, and isolate the younger one into thinking "oh wow! An older person's into me! That means I'm so mature, wise, and special!" It's also to make themselves feel young again, think vampire. It's really a game to them. very few of these types of relationships are legit. Sex with you was a cat chasing the mouse. The mouse [you] stopped running and wanted to play with the cat. The cat [she] got bored, that's not what she wanted and so she's off. Maybe to find another mouse, maybe this time a dog.

[Martrix98_98]

"oh wow! An older person's into me! That means I'm so mature, wise, and special!"

Honestly, I think so, because beautiful 22-years old girl wouldn't go to bed with every 14-years old boy. I thought I was so special for her.

[FreeFall]

Honestly, I think so, because beautiful 22-years old girl wouldn't go to bed with every 14-years old boy. I thought I was so special for her.
Hun, you're a victim.

She played you, and she played you good. She forced herself into your mind because she was stupid, and now there's a gaping void you need to close again. I'll say it again, you can give it time to heal itself or try talking to a counselor to help get you through this.

What she did was wrong and unfair. She shouldn't have done what she did to you. She stole your innocence, she stole your piece of mind, she never gave you security or sincerity. Of course the same thing could've happened even if she'd been your age, but as a 22 year old she had a responsibility and duty to herself and the younger population but chose to break it all and ignore it by preying on you.

[Martrix98_98]

She is apologizing me during every phone-talking.

[FreeFall]

It's less for you that's she's apologizing, it is for herself. she's sorry for her more than she is for you.

like I said.

She wanted a booty call and control. You wanted a relationship.


She realized something, she didn't have full and total control, somewhere along the lines she messed up because you still had independent thought.


She didn't expect you to dive head over heels, you had emotion. She didn't want that, she didn't mean for that. the hint of humanity and actual adult thinking kicked back in and she back-peddeled out. The one thing she still had complete control over, ending her attempts of using you for sex.


She's saying sorry because she regrets you having been hurt by her stupidity, her immaturity, her selfishness and her scumbag ways. but more than that she's upset she's lost her toy, you.


She wishes she'd have been able to program you, to make you as she wanted. She wishes you hadn't asked her out, then she could've kept having sex with you at the snap of her fingers. She'd have thought that her plan would've worked then. Now she has to go through the trouble of risking herself to find a young booty call male again, and go through all the work to make him as she likes and wants. You're a failed project to her, she's sorry for that.


It's time to take off your rose tinted glasses and take a look around.

Stop calling her, you're not going to get the closure if you want that and there's an 80% chance she's NOT going to be your girlfriend. Just let it go and move on, let yourself heal. By thinking about her and calling her, you're not giving yourself time to heal and work on yourself. just let it go.

[Martrix98_98]

After sex we were hugging few minutes in silence and I asked her if she wanna be my girlfriend... I was sure she would be agree, because we made love before... :(

[FreeFall]

You were so not ready for sexual relations of any kind. Get to a counselor and now or try to take time away from all this at least.


Not everyone that has sex with someone, loves that person.

Not all sex is special to someone.

You were and meant nothing to this woman. She made you a victim.

You were used by a vile and despicable woman. There was nothing, will never be anything, and you need to realize that.

You thought you were in a relationship/in love. She thought she had total control over you and could do what she wanted. There was never a same page or anything to build on.


Leave her alone. Let her go and let her fix herself. Stop trying to drag her back to you. She needs to move on before she does the same thing to anyone else. Let her go. She's not going to come back.
You need to let go so she can fix herself, so you can heal, so you can rebuild yourself.

[Martrix98_98]

Maybe I was too weak in bed? I finished in less than one minute.

[FreeFall]

......This can't be real. You're trolling me aren't you?
If it's real, I give up. You're only seeing what you want and have closed off yourself to reality.
Have fun in your fantasy land. It's not going to do you any good though. You'll be hurting yourself, you're not going to get the closure you seek. I've said it before. You'll end up in more pain holding onto your hopes and trying to rationalize all you have. Find solace in that you can prevent yourself from being someone's sex toy again.

[JimmyIsNowAMan]

Dude, you're not listening to all these posts. That girl was using you. Talk to someone, like an adult, you trust about this. Chances are she's using other guys besides you.

[Martrix98_98]

OK, maybe I'm naive idealist about feelings...

[Zenos]

the woman used you dude!

[nocontrol]

Nooope... Trollingggggg

[Nathan Numberless]

Maybe she's really sorry. Maybe (obviously) she wants a fuck buddy. Maybe she needs to rape a kid to get one. Maybe YOU want a fuck buddy...?

[Martrix98_98]

Maybe she's really sorry. Maybe (obviously) she wants a fuck buddy. Maybe she needs to rape a kid to get one. Maybe YOU want a fuck buddy...?

No, I don't want a fuck buddy.

[StephanieSanders]

Woah.
1. That's rape, it's technically called statutory rape and she could be in a lot of legal trouble , no matter if you said it was okay or you choose not to press charges or anything. The minimum age of consent is 16 depending on your state so careful!
2. I think you took it waaaaaay too fast it was a first date tbh you probably shouldnt ask a girl to be gf/bf on first date.
3. I dont think you're in love like being honest here it was one date one time, she most likely thought of it as a one night stand or something and you probably scared her when you talked about a relationship.
tbh get over her because she probably wont date you or anything, it was a one time thing i'm so sorry to put it harshly!!


Stop putting american law on this, he is from Poland, in Denmark its 15 and they are changing it to 14 soon, and it might be like that in poland too, so adress the real issue here.


And now for the real help. Your not inlove, your just confused. Your putting too much into this. Having a one nighter with an older woman can be an amazing thing, but this relationship never took off, so you gotta move on and keep it as a loving memory, but im sure that she has her reasons for not being with you, and probly its the age difference.

[Martrix98_98]

A 22 year old girl.. had sex with you? And you're 14?
Yes.

[brisk]

Eight years is quite the gap, even for adults. That's without sexual interaction on the first "date"; you're still below the age of consent.
Honestly, you should both be ashamed. :mad: You didn't stand up for yourself and she just wanted to use you. That's not love and shouldn't be treated as such.

[Martrix98_98]

I believe in love at first sight.

[YEAH BABY]

Find someone at least closer to your age bro

[mick]

Next Time Lucky Well least u had tidy sex

[chimt7]

its ok this thing happens sometimes

[Martrix98_98]

Almost one year after this I still love her :( But she still doesn't want to be with me. :(

[kiddo67]

1st You must be pretty awesome to score with a 22 year old and dude if she leaves you that's her lost, if she just used you then be happy that at least she didn't really hurt you ( physically ) and I'm sure you'll be over her don't worry man (: you'll find someone that deserves you and then you'll be happy with her

[Meganium]

As far as this has gone, this needs to be said.

Most unfortunately, you were abused for sex by a woman much older than you. Age of consent is not necessary to confirm this.
This has been pointed out more than enough times.

2. She does NOT have any feelings for you in any form. If that were the case, you would think you don't have any problems right now and you'd be in a primitive and naturally unstable relationship with this woman.

3. If you don't realize this by now, you are either:

A. Trolling the fuck out of us and our time and disrespecting us by faking a completely serious and tragic situation.

B. Incredibly traumatized already and as a result cannot think straight to allow yourself the time and closure needed to get through this.

C. Ignorant as fuck.

The whole hormone thing is understandable, but you are a human being blessed with LOGIC. Which can very easily counter any infatuation you may have in a situation like this and get you back on track.

If you're not willing to use that logic, process our advice,

Or hell, fuck our advice, just leave this alone and forget about it until you're comfortable enough to speak of it...

Then you are going to have a horrid time and really fuck up your ability to have a normal relationship with anyone else in this world ever again, all because you couldn't get over a manipulative bitch.

[Yugen]

You should probably start carrying a rape whistle on you.... if you get the hint there.

[Martrix98_98]

So why did she go to bed with? I thought girls like older guys and if she, 22 years old, decided to have sex with 14 years old boy, she loved me. I thought she loved me and fall in love too. :( I don't know how to stop loving her.

[FrancoisP11]

These things happen.