Still a virgin :/

[runswimski93]

Hi. I'm an 18 year old university student from Toronto, Ontario. I'm bi-curious, and I've got a bit of an issue that I'm trying to figure out.

I'm still a virgin. Extremely virgin. I've had one relationship, we messed around a little bit, and didn't get very far. Aside from that, I have virtually no experience with women. I'm decently good-looking, really tall, well built. I'm a little socially awkward (I have a mild case of Asperger's), and I just can't seem to get anywhere with women. Whenever any girl shows some interest in me, I seem to fuck it up one way or another.

Lately I've been trying to get it over with and giving up on trying to find a relationship or a really attractive girl before I get there. I've told a couple of friends about this, and they've been helping me out a bit. They're very, very successful with this sorta stuff, and I feel like still being a virgin is embarrassing. What can I do to feel better and/or lose it?

[FreeFall]

So?

Don't 'get it over with'. I mean it's your virginity and you can do damn well whatever you please with it, but sheesh. If you're so desperate to chuck it out the window, go to a club. You'll find someone there, just be careful or you'll lose more than you bargained for.
My best advice is to gain some patience. Some people remain virgins well into their thirties, even longer, until they meet their special someone. You're 18, so am I. We're young, and there's so much time left for those things it's mind boggling. If you're willing, get yourself into a nice steady relationship and "give" it. Don't "loose" it.
But really that's just all I got (:

[SuperSuraj]

I don't understand why people make having sex so important. It really isn't that big of a deal. I'm 17, turning 18 in 6 weeks and I'm still a virgin and unless something drastically changes in 6 weeks I'll stay that way. I honestly don't mind, like at all. Just because someone has had sex at 14 doesn't make them cool, fufilling sex is always better than the quantity of sex you have.

Really, don't worry about it. Find someone you can say you actually love and mean it, and share the experience with them, don't just throw it away.

I hope this helpedddd (:

[runswimski93]

I'd like to wait for the right person, but it's not something that's culturally acceptable in my little world. I live somewhere kinda like a non-dramatised Skins (the MTV show). Not just cause I'm in suburban Toronto, but those are the kind of people I'm surrounded by. Everybody parties a lot, everybody's lost it by now (except me), and everybody just laughs about how they lost it. I've literally been getting at least one or two texts every week saying "Have you gotten laid yet?". It's fucking frustrating and embarrassing when I always have to say that I haven't.

So?

Don't 'get it over with'. I mean it's your virginity and you can do damn well whatever you please with it, but sheesh. If you're so desperate to chuck it out the window, go to a club. You'll find someone there, just be careful or you'll lose more than you bargained for.
My best advice is to gain some patience. Some people remain virgins well into their thirties, even longer, until they meet their special someone. You're 18, so am I. We're young, and there's so much time left for those things it's mind boggling. If you're willing, get yourself into a nice steady relationship and "give" it. Don't "loose" it.
But really that's just all I got (:

I've been to clubs before, it just doesn't work with my social awkwardness. I do best when I'm with girls in more relaxed environments, but I always seem to mess up somewhere along the way to my bed. I'd love to be able to wait so that I can "give it", but I'm getting tired of that.

[Saxophone 44]

I'm very socially awkward. However, I REALLY like texting, because then I can have time to think of what to say. And body language can be huge. There was an episode on the Nate Berkus show about body language, helps me a ton. Google "body language translations" or something like that. It'll help. Good luck!

[Pipo]

So?

Don't 'get it over with'. I mean it's your virginity and you can do damn well whatever you please with it, but sheesh. If you're so desperate to chuck it out the window, go to a club. You'll find someone there, just be careful or you'll lose more than you bargained for.
My best advice is to gain some patience. Some people remain virgins well into their thirties, even longer, until they meet their special someone. You're 18, so am I. We're young, and there's so much time left for those things it's mind boggling. If you're willing, get yourself into a nice steady relationship and "give" it. Don't "loose" it.
But really that's just all I got (:

I agree with you, I'm 18 and virgin too I don't really care about it that much I'd rather lose it with the right person that I love and want to spent my life with. That's why I'm not doing any this "experimenting" what awfully lot people seem to do I don't understand why if you're a gay for example you want to have anal sex with your best friend who's straight? I'd rather have that with my boyfriend.

Just forget that you're virgin and you get the best relationship when you stop looking for it. Just let the time flow and focus on the stuff that is more important like your living school, friends, work, family etc you've.

[Magus]

I am way worse(better?) than you guys. I am 20. Still a virgin.

So if you had no sexual contact does that means the universe will collapse into a singularity? No. If you live a careful life, and balance between your studies and socialising, you will bound to find a partner who is willing to engage in an intimate interaction with you.

[Jess]

yeah so what? I'm your age and I haven't been in a single relationship. There's nothing wrong with still being a virgin (: I could care less.

[FreeFall]

So just don't answer those texts then. It's not that hard to just put down the phone and go about your life.
Maybe get some new friends?

Frankly I find people asking about another's sex life so casually to be an invasion of privacy, lack of boundaries, rude and tacky.

They've got their own sex, they don't need to know about your's or lack there of.
Ask yourself if it'd be worth it, it's not a burden to be a virgin really. And not being a virgin doesn't make your life all sparkles and rainbows. Some people actually still do look down on guys that just go to bed with anyone for no reason. Not that they're any better but just because your friends don't care about sex doesn't mean you should give on in to the peer pressure.

[deeda95]

hey nothing wrong with being a virgin

[OregonStateDude]

Okay, I'm just wondering if there is some kind of double standard between straight guys and gay guys. Because it seems like some straight guys are in such a hurry to "lose it".

It shouldn't be a race to the finish line, I say embrace your innocence! Be proud that you don't have an STD and have never gotten a girl in trouble. I'm no expert on straight sex, but I feel that a guy and a girl should have some feelings for each other before they "do it". Otherwise, it makes the whole thing seem cheap.

That's why I'm not doing any this "experimenting" what awfully lot people seem to do I don't understand why if you're a gay for example you want to have anal sex with your best friend who's straight? I'd rather have that with my boyfriend.

Whoa okay, either someone is a mind reader LoL, or I let way too much info slip by in my recent posts. Yes, I just lost my cherry this past weekend to another guy, but I wanted this to happen. I don't feel cheap, or dirty, or used. Actually I thought about it all summer, and I figured I was ready, so why not.

Getting back to the original topic, I do plan on having straight sex someday (YOLO, right?). And when it happens, it happens. There's no timetable, there's no rush, in fact, I want to make sure I am mature enough to appreciate what I'm doing.

[ashdyn]

I don't understand why people make having sex so important. It really isn't that big of a deal. I'm 17, turning 18 in 6 weeks and I'm still a virgin and unless something drastically changes in 6 weeks I'll stay that way. I honestly don't mind, like at all. Just because someone has had sex at 14 doesn't make them cool, fufilling sex is always better than the quantity of sex you have.

Really, don't worry about it. Find someone you can say you actually love and mean it, and share the experience with them, don't just throw it away.

I hope this helpedddd (:

Such good advice! I lost mine when I was really young and even though I wouldn't go as far as to say I regret it....I can say that it wasn't as fulfilling as the sex I had afterwards.

And also, losing your virginity is nothing glamorous. To be completely honest...it's a bit awkward your first time. Plus you'll be nervous and fumble around with things lol losing your virginity also isn't going to help your problem of talking to girls...unless all you talk about with girls is sex. You should practice you communication/public speaking skills first.