Am I gay? HELP!

[Heydoo]

I put this in the puberty section because it may have something to do with puberty.

I am 17 years old, and i was a late bloomer. throughout my teen years I have been so scared about my sexuality. I was always attracted to guys rather than girls. however, I really don't know if i'm gay, I don't act gay, i hang out with straight people, and i play hockey (may not have anything to do with it) I always caught my self looking at other guys leg hair and pitt hair and being attracted to it. I thought to my self "this is just a fetish" but then i found myself attracted to muscular guys and penis.

I always thought to myself "this is just a phase and it will go away"... but it hasn't gone away.. I am attracted to woman, but not the physical part, i love them based on personalities, I have even had my heart broken by some. Whenever I masturbate I always think of guys though. I was always attracted to the male body, and the woman personality.I have noticed that i fell in love with my best friend (hes a guy, he's straight). I always thought about him, and cried when i didn't see him, he was very attractive in my eyes. But as soon as a woman came into my life, I fell inlove with the woman, forgeting about my bestfriend. And as soon as the woman left, I went back to him. I do have fantasies about guys, but anal sex freaks me out (so i may not be gay)

Right now I am so confused. I seem to be attracted to the woman because of her personality, but Im attracted to guys because of their bodies. Am I gay? bi? I really do get very emotional, and i really dont want to be gay honestly. Maybe i can marry a woman but not be attracted to her physically.... I am not too sure. But I really need help. I get so upset about this everyday

PLEASE HELP :confused:

[StoppingTime]

:arrow: Teen Sexuality

Since you are talking about your sexuality, not just a puberty question, it belongs here.

[pmm98]

Well, from what it sounds like you might be gay or bi. While many people believe that sexuality is not a choice, it isn't exactly a decision that's made for you either. Sexuality is not black and white there are many shades of gray in between.

You say that you are attracted to men, and not women. However, you are attracted to their personalities. In order to have a HEALTHY relationship, you need to be physically, emotionally and romantically attracted to someone so keep that in mind when you are trying to sort through whether or not you may be gay.

It is also very common, especially as a teenager, to go through stages of being aroused by same sex activity etc. while this doesn't mean you are straight, it does not exactly indicate you're gay either. The fact that you are not aroused by women leads me to believe you may be gay. Also, you mentioned that you "fell in love" with one of your guy friends. This doesn't typically happen to those who are just going through a phase, it is usually only a physical attraction rather than an emotional or romantic one.

If it isn't clear to you by now, one day your sexuality will develop in one direction. You're either going to be gay, bi or straight. When I was 14 I went through the stage of having a physical attraction to naked men through gay porn etc. however, I had always been aroused by women still and I loved women. I never had an emotional attraction to a man. I grew out of it and my sexuality developed more. I understand how confusing and nervewrecking of a process it can be, but you just have to tough it out.

You can look up different symptoms of denial, or HOCD (Homosexuality Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) as denial happens to a lot of young people who aren't ready to accept their sexuality and HOCD can make you think you are gay even if you aren't. Something that helps is being BRUTALLY honest with yourself. Don't lie. If you see a website online contrasting the symptoms of homosexuality and HOCD, be honest with yourself when you're reading the information! Lying is not going to make the process go smoother and it certainly isn't making anything easier on you. Be honest and one day it will all turn out for you, and eventually you will learn to love and accept who you are regardless of sexuality.

Best of luck!

[sdude]

You are who you are, why label yourself if you want to be with guys or girls, let yourself explore and enjoy the moment. It is enough pressure to be in school & stuff..if you beat off to guys, you know u are at least bi...just enjoy who you want to be with and let the rest take care, you might just fall in love so much it takes care of itself and you will be in love and horny for that person regardless of what sex they are!!! Cheers, enjoy life buddy!!

[Biscuithead13]

There's nothing that makes you gay, you are what you are. It sounds like your bi or gay, but who cares. Just be yourself, and go after who you want. Your mind may tell you that you like girls, guys, or mabye even both. Mine told me I liked guys, and there's nothing wrong with it, but it took me 5 years to figure myself out. Contrary to popular belief, not all gay guys like anal and stuff like that. I'd like to try it someday, but its not something I feel I would enjoy. Everybody has different things thier into and its what makes us who we are! :)

[ExhibitG]

There's nothing that makes you gay, you are what you are. It sounds like your bi or gay, but who cares. Just be yourself, and go after who you want. Your mind may tell you that you like girls, guys, or mabye even both. Mine told me I liked guys, and there's nothing wrong with it, but it took me 5 years to figure myself out. Contrary to popular belief, not all gay guys like anal and stuff like that. I'd like to try it someday, but its not something I feel I would enjoy. Everybody has different things thier into and its what makes us who we are! :)

this post is perfection. take biscuit's advice.

[Thanatos]

Yeah I can't really give you any different advice then what has been posted. As a Bi-Sexual Hockey player, I can definitely sympathize with what you are going through. When I was still unsure of my sexuality, the locker room definitely made me realize how much I was attracted to guys.

Ever need anyone to talk to, hit me up. *Hockey Bro*

[Nellerin]

You are either bi or gay but from what it sounds like you are probably just gay since you seem to exhibit the attraction to guys quite a bit.

[MartyG]

You're fine man....and I hope you have the self confidence to follow the advice of most of the people here: Be yourself and enjoy what life has to offer you.

I think that you are bi...and I suspect that you always will be bi to some degree...but that you will "hook-up" with someone; be it a girl or guy...who will love the fuck out of you....and he/she will be your answer.

I had therapy for a while.....and here's the question that my therapist asked when I talked with her about these issues:

"What do you think about when you masturbate?"

I think your answer to that tells a lot about your sexuality.....but I think in your case it will be the strength of your primary partner that will pull you one way or another.

Not a bad situation to be in, IMHO....you get to choose from both sides :)

Marty

[dontfiguremeout]

Well just seems like your bi. But bi, gay, or straight, you shouldn't be worried about your sexual orientation! You need to be proud, and own it! Honestly, who cares what people think about you!

[DerBear]

Since everyone seems to have covered the basis of what people have said I am going to keep it short.

Unless you are both emotionally and physically attracted to men then you are not gay. However I can't from your post draw a conclusion of your sexuality. I personally find just weighing out the situation in your head and take time, as much time as you need to figure out this would be helpful. You don't have to rush the conclusion and you are young you have plenty of time to discover these things and you can discover it naturally. Some day you will get in a situation where you know what your sexuality is.

So don't worry, you are young and have plenty of time to figure things out :)

[jhan3]

just be urself man don't sweat what anyone else thinks!