Evrythng_im_not
August 31st, 2007, 09:13 AM
The Worst Night
She laid her head on her pillow and tried not to act like she wasn't hurt. She held the tears in that she longed to cry. She felt one lone tear slip out and she didn't bother to wipe it away; if one got out she knew the rest were about to flow free as well. She seized her bedding tight in her hands and clenched her eyes as tight as she could; they fell like rain on a warm summer's eve.
She swore it was over. That the part of her that was killing her had died. She couldn't help how she was this time, it wasn't her fault; that's what she kept telling herself over and over again in her head. She pulled the blankets over her head. She wasn't going to deal with this now. She hoped to god that her girlfriend in the next room didn't hear her cries.
She slowly slid out from under the covers and groped her way to her desk. Top drawer, back right corner; there they were, they never let her down. Sitting on the floor she tooked at her treasure, her razor blade. It gleamed at her and taunted her. She knew she would give in, she knew she would bleed again. She held onto this lifeline, and traced her past. She brought it back to life, her crimson sleeves and heart.
She told herself only once or twice; once or twice was long gone. She held onto that razor, and soon it all got repetitive and redundant. The carpet was staining under her. She felt her hand slip and the razor go deeper, tracing it's way along tendons and ligaments. She gasped, eyes twitching toward the door, she hadn't meant to do that. No one was coming, no one had heard her, no one could save her now.
Falling as if in slow motion, she felt her head hit the floor, and her eyes roll into her head. She heard movement in the room next door, her lover had probably heard the thud. She couldn't find a way to tell her that she was sorry. She hold onto her consious thoughts as her one and only burst through door with a scream. The only thing to escape the lips were an "I love you, I'm so sorry." Something happened to their forever, and she regretted it now more than ever. She felt her hand bieing held, and she felt her wounds being cleansed and bandaged. She felt the darkness sweep upon her, and hoped with everything she would wake to a better day.
<3 TBC
She laid her head on her pillow and tried not to act like she wasn't hurt. She held the tears in that she longed to cry. She felt one lone tear slip out and she didn't bother to wipe it away; if one got out she knew the rest were about to flow free as well. She seized her bedding tight in her hands and clenched her eyes as tight as she could; they fell like rain on a warm summer's eve.
She swore it was over. That the part of her that was killing her had died. She couldn't help how she was this time, it wasn't her fault; that's what she kept telling herself over and over again in her head. She pulled the blankets over her head. She wasn't going to deal with this now. She hoped to god that her girlfriend in the next room didn't hear her cries.
She slowly slid out from under the covers and groped her way to her desk. Top drawer, back right corner; there they were, they never let her down. Sitting on the floor she tooked at her treasure, her razor blade. It gleamed at her and taunted her. She knew she would give in, she knew she would bleed again. She held onto this lifeline, and traced her past. She brought it back to life, her crimson sleeves and heart.
She told herself only once or twice; once or twice was long gone. She held onto that razor, and soon it all got repetitive and redundant. The carpet was staining under her. She felt her hand slip and the razor go deeper, tracing it's way along tendons and ligaments. She gasped, eyes twitching toward the door, she hadn't meant to do that. No one was coming, no one had heard her, no one could save her now.
Falling as if in slow motion, she felt her head hit the floor, and her eyes roll into her head. She heard movement in the room next door, her lover had probably heard the thud. She couldn't find a way to tell her that she was sorry. She hold onto her consious thoughts as her one and only burst through door with a scream. The only thing to escape the lips were an "I love you, I'm so sorry." Something happened to their forever, and she regretted it now more than ever. She felt her hand bieing held, and she felt her wounds being cleansed and bandaged. She felt the darkness sweep upon her, and hoped with everything she would wake to a better day.
<3 TBC