How Can I Prevent Myself from Falling in Love?

[TaylrJ]

I am a 15 year old guy, and bi. I am wanting to know how to stop falling in love with people so much. Whenever I fall for someone, It's usually with a guy. First a friendship, next I start liking them, and then I usually fall in love. But after falling in love, I sorta become obsessed. It just seems like I think about them and try to talk to them a lot. I also get jealous if they talk to someone else. I've done this before and the guy ended up moving away. It made me so depressed and it lasted for months too. Now it's another guy and I am afraid the same thing will happen again. I think I am falling in love with him but I don't want to end up depressed like I was before. I am just afraid that he may find some other guy to be friends with, or not being gay after all, or end up not liking me back. It's just things like that I am afraid will happen. Is this normal? Can you help? Thanks..

[FreeFall]

One cannot control how they feel, only how they act on it.

If you like a guy, and you don't want to, distract yourself. Give you, you time. Try new sports or activities. Bake some cookies. Climb a tree or two. Build a birdhouse. Just something to take your mind away from focusing on feelings you don't want.

[AppealToReason]

You need to get over this jealousy. Try and understand that if he really does like you, then here is no need to worry about who he talks with because it's you he wants to be with.
You can't stop yourself from liking someone or falling in love. You can try to deny it all you want, but you'll always know the truth, so you have to work on fixing your mindset instead of denying your feelings.

[dontfiguremeout]

I use to have this thing where I was just obsessed with friends, like I would be sad for the weekend, because I didn't see them. It got to the point where people left, because I was so obsessed. So what I did to help stop that was really not think about them! That was it! I got my mind on other things, to where now I don't need to be with friends 24/7. I think you can do the same thing! And one thing I noticed that when you say you first like them, it kinda looks like you think they are yours, back off! And you can't do that! Don't think like that!

[TigerBoy]

Developing feelings of love for true friends is totally normal. Only the two of you together can decide where it goes. He may not want more than a loving friendship, but you won't know unless you pursue it.

If it helps, my own relationship started out as a very good long time friendship. I ended up just telling my boyfriend I was really attracted to him even before he was out. It was rough for about a week while he got his head around it but it worked out and we got together.

At the moment, the choice and the power over where this goes is with you, and you need to respect him enough to give that up and take the risk of giving it to him...


You could tell him you really like him, even love him and stay within the bounds of brotherly friendship (or at least guys round here do that, without it meaning 'gay') .
Depending on how that goes, you could come out to him (even just say you are attracted and discuss what that means if it is easier).
Keep talking about feelings, it may all come to the surface anyway, but at some point you may be able to tell him you are attracted to him.


At each point, you take a risk, but you may get rewarded with deeper friendship and maybe the romantic love you want.

Be realistic -

If you handle this well AND he is the person you think this is you are most likely to end up with a better friendship, which may not be what you really want, but could be really good to have someone who understands you at your back if you meet another guy.
If you push to hard too fast, you may take a few steps back in your friendship, so be patient


I really hope it works out for you.

[West Coast Sheriff]

I know what ur talkin about and you can't prevent it. How you feel is how you feel. You can't change that.

[kenoloor]

It's quite simple, actually. Lock yourself in your room with no contact to the outside world. Don't talk to people, don't even think about social interactions. And there you have it. Happy hermiting!