I Don't Know What to do With Myself Anymore...

[gabby0217]

I have only been self injuring for a bit over a year now. I started when I was 15. I can remember realizing I was always so low and upset when I was 14. I can't remember much about then I was younger, I just know that I used to cry a lot for any little thing. Suicide seems to always be on my mind, especially last week. I've been clean for almost 3 months know, the longest I have gone without it. The thing is, I don't want help. I want to be able to do this on my own. I had confided in one friend last year when it began, along with my drug abuse, and she went to my parents about it. I know she meant well, but it honestly just made things worse. My brother basically told be I should cut straight down instead of across and then maybe I'd get somewhere (even though I was mostly cutting my thighs at the time). I wouldn't be able to ask my parents for help, my dad had made me promise to stop, which was a promise I couldn't keep, but had to make anyways, and my mom was just in tears for days. I can't disappoint them like that again. I don't have the urge to do it at the moment, but I know I will within the next few hours.

[jegoss02]

Okay. Maybe a self help thin then. This is something u have picked up iced the many forums on here. Take a sharpie and draw a butterfly on the place you cut. Right in top of the scars. And write the names of the people you care for most inside the wings. Now, every time you go to cut, you think if those your hurting too. It might seem like a big thing to just quit but this will help the process.

[West Coast Sheriff]

Try to look for thr positive and dont think about sad stuff and remember the other people u hurt when u cut as stated above. We're all here to help and were all available to talk. So if ur upset and wannab cut or do drugs don't and think about who you else u r hurting, and if u need 2 talk I'm here and everyone ,else is too.

[jegoss02]

Okay. Maybe a self help thin then. This is something u have picked up iced the many forums on here. Take a sharpie and draw a butterfly on the place you cut. Right in top of the scars. And write the names of the people you care for most inside the wings. Now, every time you go to cut, you think if those your hurting too. It might seem like a big thing to just quit but this will help the process.

Sorry about a few mistakes in that post. All "u" are supposed to be "I". And the "thin" in the first line is meant to be thing. Sorry. :)

[xXJust Jump ItXx]

I have only been self injuring for a bit over a year now. I started when I was 15. I can remember realizing I was always so low and upset when I was 14. I can't remember much about then I was younger, I just know that I used to cry a lot for any little thing. Suicide seems to always be on my mind, especially last week. I've been clean for almost 3 months know, the longest I have gone without it. The thing is, I don't want help. I want to be able to do this on my own. I had confided in one friend last year when it began, along with my drug abuse, and she went to my parents about it. I know she meant well, but it honestly just made things worse. My brother basically told be I should cut straight down instead of across and then maybe I'd get somewhere (even though I was mostly cutting my thighs at the time). I wouldn't be able to ask my parents for help, my dad had made me promise to stop, which was a promise I couldn't keep, but had to make anyways, and my mom was just in tears for days. I can't disappoint them like that again. I don't have the urge to do it at the moment, but I know I will within the next few hours.

Okay. Maybe a self help thin then. This is something u have picked up iced the many forums on here. Take a sharpie and draw a butterfly on the place you cut. Right in top of the scars. And write the names of the people you care for most inside the wings. Now, every time you go to cut, you think if those your hurting too. It might seem like a big thing to just quit but this will help the process.

The butterfly on the place where you cut does help for some people... and please what ever you do if you start cutting on your wrist and I hope you just dont cut, dont cut down! I cut... I know its a hard thing to stop and everything, but seriously getting help will be a good thing! Its not really something you can stop doing alone.

[gabby0217]

Thank you all for your replies, I honestly didn't think anyone would reply. I've done the butterfly project before, but it seemed to work best when they were the ones to draw the butterfly (on an area in which I had no scars.) And I've also stopped smoking for the most part, I've only done it once in the 10 months since my parents found out. As for the cutting, I ended up not having much of the urge last night, I was talking to a friend who knows about it most of the day and that was able to get me through it.