Most posts wins!

[OrKing]

Turkish: For ever action, there is a reaction. And a Pikey reaction... is quite a fucking thing.

[workingatperfect]

Between those huge sweating tits that hung enormous, the way you'd think of God's as big.

[OrKing]

Errol: Looks like we're in, guv'nor.
Brick Top: Goody gumdrops. Get us a cup of tea, would you, Errol?

[workingatperfect]

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

[OrKing]

Errol: Are you Turkish?
Turkish: Well I'm not fuckin' Greek now, am I?

[workingatperfect]

You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

[West Coast Sheriff]

..........

[OrKing]

FMLmaFi_Nbw

[West Coast Sheriff]

............

[workingatperfect]

Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

[workingatperfect]

Tyler Durden: Shut up! Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?
Narrator: No, no, I... don't...
Tyler Durden: Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen.
Narrator: It isn't?
Tyler Durden: We don't need him!

[OrKing]

Eddie: They're armed.
Soap: What was that? Armed? What do you mean armed? Armed with what?
Eddie: Err, bad breath, colorful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!
Share this quote

[OrKing]

Rory Breaker: If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain't the kinda pussy to drink it.

[workingatperfect]

There are things about you that I like. You're smart, you're funny, you're... spectacular in bed... But you're intolerable! You have very serious emotional problems. Deep seated problems for which you should seek professional help.

[OrKing]

Gary: Shotguns? What, like guns that fire shots?

Barry the Baptist: Oh, you must be the brains of the operation. Yes, guns that fire shots, you tit.

[workingatperfect]

Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

[OrKing]

Plank: Ah! They fucking shot me!
Dog: Well, fucking shoot 'em back!

[workingatperfect]

You're not getting this back. I consider it asshole tax.

[OrKing]

Soap: Rory Breaker? That psychotic black dwarf with an Afro?
Tom: That would be the same man, yes.

[workingatperfect]

If I did have a tumor, I'd name it Marla.

[OrKing]

You're not funny, Tom. You're fat, and look as though you should be, but you're not.

[workingatperfect]

Apart from seasoning the lobster bisque, he farted on the meringue, sneezed on braised endive, and as for the cream of mushroom soup, well...

[OrKing]

Rory Breaker: What did you shoot him with, an air rifle?
Winston: Look, we grow weed. We're not mercenaries.
Rory Breaker: You don't say.

[workingatperfect]

Well, I'm still here. But I don't know for how long. That's as much certainty as anyone can give me. But I've got some good news: I no longer have any fear of death. But... I am in a pretty lonely place. No one will have sex with me. I'm so close to the end, and all I want is to get laid for the last time. I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants, and amyl nitrite...

[Fractured Silhouette]

Sing for the angel of afterlife calling me down. Chaos inside my nebula.

[OrKing]

Is this some white c**ts joke that black c**ts don't get? 'Cause I'm not fucking laughing Nicholas.

[workingatperfect]

If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

[OrKing]

Get Nick, that greasy wop, shistos, pesevengi, gamouri Greek bastard, if he's stupid enough to still be on this planet.

[workingatperfect]

And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.

[OrKing]

Harry didn't think that he did a very good job, so he grabbed the nearest thing to hand, which just so happened to be a 15 inch black rubber cock, and proceeded to beat poor old Smithy to death with. And that was seen as a nice way to go. Now, that, is why you pay Hatchet Harry, when you owe.
Share this quote

[workingatperfect]

I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.

[OrKing]

Rory Breaker: Your stupidity may be your one saving grace.
Nick the Greek: Uuugh?
Rory Breaker: Don't "uuugh" me, Greek boy!

[Fractured Silhouette]

9We22y4s6Ug

[workingatperfect]

Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.

[OrKing]

Eddie: The entire British empire was built on cups of tea...

Bacon: Yeah, and look what happened to that.

Eddie: ...And if you think I'm going to war without one, mate, you're mistaken.

[workingatperfect]

Narrator: I'll tell you: we'll split up the week, okay? You take lymphoma, and tuberculosis...
Marla Singer: You take tuberculosis. My smoking doesn't go over at all.
Narrator: Okay, good, fine. Testicular cancer should be no contest, I think.
Marla Singer: Well, technically, I have more of a right to be there than you. You still have your balls.
Narrator: You're kidding.
Marla Singer: I don't know... am I?
Narrator: No, no! What do you want?
Marla Singer: I'll take the parasites.
Narrator: You can't have both the parasites, but while you take the blood parasites...
Marla Singer: I want brain parasites.
Narrator: I'll take the blood parasites. But I'm gonna take the organic brain dementia, okay?
Marla Singer: I want that.
Narrator: You can't have the whole brain, that's...
Marla Singer: So far you have four, I only have two!
Narrator: Okay. Take both the parasites. They're yours. Now we both have three...

[OrKing]

Listen to this one then; you open a company called the Arse Tickler's Faggot Fan Club. You take an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos, sell it a bit with, er... I dunno, "does what no other dildo can do until now", latest and greatest in sexual technology. Guaranteed results or money back, all that bollocks. These dills cost twenty-five each; a snip for all the pleasure they are going to give the recipients. They send a cheque to the company name, nothing offensive, er, Bobbie's Bits or something, for twenty-five. You put these in the bank for two weeks and let them clear. Now this is the clever bit. Then you send back the cheques for twenty-five pounds from the real company name, Arse Tickler's Faggot Fan Club, saying sorry, we couldn't get the supply from America, they have sold out. Now you see how many of the people cash those cheques; not a single soul, because who wants his bank manager to know he tickles arses when he is not paying in cheques!

[workingatperfect]

Tyler Durden: It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.
Narrator: There's always that.

[OrKing]

Soap: A little bit of pain never hurt anybody, if you know what I mean.

[workingatperfect]

Fuck what you know. You need to forget about what you know, that's your problem. Forget about what you think you know about life, about friendship, and especially about you and me.

[OrKing]

Barry the Baptist: Hello son, would you like a lolly?
Little Chris: Piss off, you nonce!

[workingatperfect]

Life insurance pays off triple if you die on a business trip.

[OrKing]

Gary: I've just spent 120 quid on me hair. If you think I'm puttin a stockin over me head you're very much mistaken.

[workingatperfect]

Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

[OrKing]

Golf - the best way to spoil a good walk. Winston Churchill said that. I say it's a dog-eat-dog world. And I got bigger teeth than you two.

[workingatperfect]

Condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night... then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger.

[OrKing]

You think this is a coincidence? This white shite steals my things and thinks that he can sell it back to me? He's got less brains than you, Lenny!

[workingatperfect]

Marla... the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can't.

[workingatperfect]

Tyler Durden: [his face is soaked in blood; he is shaking it over Lou and screaming] You don't know where I've been. You don't know where I've been. Just let us have the basement, Lou!

[West Coast Sheriff]

Night

[workingatperfect]

Night.

[Silicate Wielder]

when its dark out watch out for the goobies, their diet consists of human hair. But on the bright side if they do eat your hair you won't need a flashlight to see in the dark anymore, your bald head will light the way!

<> <>
|
\____/

Here comes the brain ninjas!

3cMAu6HeLx4

[Jess]

,./,././,

[Silicate Wielder]

This is funny

Rb7eNTmhr8E

[Jess]

/////////////

[workingatperfect]

I need to pee and my brother is in the shower D:

[Silicate Wielder]

TO: All Aperture employees
FROM: Cave Johnson

COMPANY MEMORANDUM

Cave Johnson here. Your boss. It's come to my attention that some of you are concerned after receiving my all-staff memo yesterday ("You: Design Test Chambers or You're Fired"). So to put your minds at ease, let me clarify: You are not mentally ill and you did read the memo just fine. It was real. You should be designing test chambers, right now and at all times, or by God I will fire you.

Having said that, let's be honest: Some of you are incapable of designing a test chamber, whatever the motivation. You're only getting marginally better results than a dog would. Worse, actually. A dog designing even a substandard test chamber'd be pretty damned impressive, let's not kid ourselves.

But don't worry, you're not fired yet. It turns out there's an even better job you can do instead of being fired: Getting launched into an infinite series of alternate Earths to evaluate all the test chambers your smarter coworkers are making.

Wait, it gets better: I'll be right there with you. Every step of the way, whether the tests work or not, Cave'll be by your side, facing whatever life-threatening dangers we might run into out there. And even better, I won't actually physically be there. I'll be here, talking into a microphone, from complete and total safety. That way the people who'll be monitoring whether you're still alive won't have to split their focus worrying about me.

So there you have it. Everyone's useful in the Perpetual Testing Initiative. Except Peter Jenkins, which brings me to the point of this memo: Pete, you're fired.

Alright, that should wrap it up. Everybody except Pete get back to work when this sentence finishes... now.

Errr

[workingatperfect]

I laughed my ass off the first time you posted that.

[Jess]

/......

[workingatperfect]

Dane cook is my favorite

[Jess]

/.......

[workingatperfect]

hmm.

[Jess]

////////////

[workingatperfect]

i need to watch fight club.

[Jimmy Page]

OOOOOOH YES!I'm the great pretender!
Preteeeeending that I'm,doing weeeell!

[workingatperfect]

blah blah blah

[Jess]

////////

[Jimmy Page]

Me and Melissa can agree on that Shane is cute as fucketty fuck fuck :kitty:

[Jess]

///////

[Silicate Wielder]

Oh good you guys got back from school or whatever it is that you have been doing.

I'm sick so I spent my day watching portal 2 Lets plays and reading manga.

I'm not sure wether my avatar is creepy or just plain disturbing. it dosn't seem to affect me.

[Jess]

///////.......

[workingatperfect]

Me and Melissa can agree on that Shane is cute as fucketty fuck fuck :kitty:

True that, Shane is the cutest person ever. And most amazing, sweetest, hottest, sexiest... Uh, yeah. He's cute hehe.

[Jimmy Page]

You're right on all those darling,great guy :D

[workingatperfect]

Yes he most certainly is, and thankfully he's MY great guy. :)

[Jimmy Page]

Good catch :P
If you hadn't caught him I would have tangled him up in my net :P

[Silicate Wielder]

I feel like i'm the only guy here these days... o-o

anyways I got more manga downloading O3o

[workingatperfect]

Ehhh, cock freaks him out, good luck with that.

[Jimmy Page]

I have my methods
*cough* water torture! *cough*

[Silicate Wielder]

Does anyone ever wonder what happened to bobby the blade?

[workingatperfect]

Haha funny, we were talking about how he's going to use water boarding on any guy that our hypothetical future daughter brings home :P

Bobby is still alive and well, Shane brings him out randomly during our skype calls.

[Silicate Wielder]

...I'm gonna go to one of my chatrooms, cya.

[Jimmy Page]

Hmmm,sounds like something I would do to my future nephews....nah,I'd be that cool long haired crazy rock hippie uncle :P

[workingatperfect]

I should watch boy meets world. No, actually I should write my English thingy.

[Incompris]

.........

[workingatperfect]

;;;;;;;;;

[Silicate Wielder]

http://wiioperasdk.com/chatrooms/smilies/chuck.gif

[workingatperfect]

well. what the fuck.

[Incompris]

????

[workingatperfect]

Grr, where is shane? How can that fucker still be asleep?

[Incompris]

haha

[workingatperfect]

We went to sleep at the same time, and I've been up for 3 hours lol.

[Incompris]

wow.

[workingatperfect]

Computer, stop being slow. I want to watch my show.

[Jess]

///////////

[workingatperfect]

:/ .

[Jess]

//////

[workingatperfect]

Stop procrastinating Melissa.It's 5:30 and you've done no work at all.

[Jess]

////////////

[workingatperfect]

ahhhebfonqowinfdlnd

[Silicate Wielder]

My show is a bit laggish. e-e

I see you guys saw the chuck norris emote I found XD

And who thinks I should switch to a different avatar?

[Jess]

rtwetergte

[workingatperfect]

Mine is lagging too. An hour and a half and it's still not loaded all the way.

[Jess]

./././.

[Silicate Wielder]

hah one time I spent 5 hours waiting for my show to load and as soon as it loaded my mom wanted on. I was so irritated.

I finally calibrated my 3DS screen, the graphics look freaking awesome now. i think the reason why people say the 3D dosnt work is because they're to lazy to actually calibrate it correctly.

[West Coast Sheriff]

.........

[workingatperfect]

my mom is making meatloaf :/

[Jess]

///////

[workingatperfect]

hmmhmhmhmmhmhmhmmm. hmmhmhmHMMhmmhmhhmmmm

[Jess]

//////''

[workingatperfect]

That was to the tune of the indiana jones theme song.

[Silicate Wielder]

Its been so long since I had meatloaf... I want some now...

[Silicate Wielder]

dadadada da Dadaaaaaaa dadadaDaaaaa da dada dada!

[Jess]

...///////////.

[Silicate Wielder]

-bTpp8PQSog
UMADBRO?

[workingatperfect]

God my brother is such a fucking idiot. He unplugged our house phone. I get calls from my teachers on that phone, important calls. Fucking hell.

[Incompris]

....

[Jess]

///;;

[workingatperfect]

It's so cold all of a sudden.

[Jess]

/////////////////

[workingatperfect]

jdfojv

[Jess]

/././

[workingatperfect]

This zucchini bread tastes kinda weird.

[Jess]

think I should go eat now.............

[West Coast Sheriff]

.......

[workingatperfect]

Jesus, this is getting so confusing.

[Jess]

////////

[workingatperfect]

damn, I could go for a nap.

[Jess]

nom nom nom

[workingatperfect]

So Jess, how are you today?

[Jess]

I'm good. I need to stop staying up so late though lol

[workingatperfect]

I love not having a schedule anymore, it's a lot easier haha.

[Jess]

spicyspicyspicyspicyspicy

[Silicate Wielder]

Well... this is interesting run who changes gender when she sneezes reached adultood meaning she splits into two people. Ren runs off in girls' clothes yelling "I'M FINALLY FREE!!" while Run hugs rito in the nude... e-e WTF

[workingatperfect]

kdsknssdjc

[West Coast Sheriff]

I'm gonna go watch a volleyball game. :D

[workingatperfect]

Have fun. I just started the third season of Ghost Whisperer

[Silicate Wielder]

So one day my brother's friend's cousin asked her friends mom who is also a manager of a McDonlads that can't figure out weather to get 12 booths and 10 tables or 12 tables and 10 booths for her cat's brothers lamp's lightbulb who just burnt out and the funeral was at 3 pm today and I told Dom too because they've moved my desk 4 times this year and I used to be over by the window and I could see the squirrels and they were married but then they switched from the swingline stapler to the boston but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much and I kept the staples for my swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler 1 more time then I'll set the building on fire and the Samsung tv doesnt work any more because my aunt's cat's sweatshirt's weedwacker's mother shot it with 12 guage buck shot ammo and only channel 3 works but I don't like that because I strongly prefer the number orange over doorknob because it has a better overall smell and Dairy Queen had Jean Simmons yes the jeen simmons but listen guys he puts his pants on like everyone else but then makes gold records and he has a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.

I had a math problem asking wether the manager at MCdonalds should get 10 booths and 12 tables or 12 booths and 10 tables for a mcdonalds resturaunt with a specific size.

coincidence?

[Jess]

dafsdfasdfsdf

[Silicate Wielder]

btw rob... Coolstorybro

[Jess]

afewrqasdfasdfds

[workingatperfect]

wzxsedcrfvtgybhnuijm

[Silicate Wielder]

-Presses Jess's remote's mute button.-

I no speak gibberish.

-un-mutes Jess-

[Jess]

lol :S

[workingatperfect]

eeeeeeeeeee

[Jess]

////////////

[workingatperfect]

every

[Jess]

/////

[workingatperfect]

good

[Jess]

//////

[workingatperfect]

boy..

[Jess]

/././././

[workingatperfect]

does

[Jess]

,.,/.,/,./.,/

[workingatperfect]

fine.

[Jess]

/.,;'/,

[Jess]

oops -_-

[workingatperfect]

e-g-b-d-f
f-a-c-e

[Jess]

/////////''''''''''''''''

[workingatperfect]

minugbbbhb

[Jess]

dfgsfsadfsdf

[workingatperfect]

ughhh, so bored.

[Jess]

////////

[Mob Boss]

I got a new DC snapback and my hair dip-dyed at ULTA today \m/ Thanks to my sister.

[Incompris]

........

[workingatperfect]

I dip dyed a mannequin's hair once. It was kinda fun.

[Jess]

/////////

[workingatperfect]

My dream catcher looks weird.

[Jess]

///////////

[Silicate Wielder]

THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Or is it madness?

[workingatperfect]

I wish Geauga Lake was still open.

[Jess]

sdfasdfsd

[workingatperfect]

I feel like going on some roller coasters.

[Jess]

//////////

[Silicate Wielder]

the cat is really amusing me. but its toy is really giving it a hard time.

[workingatperfect]

oink.

[Jess]

/../././

[workingatperfect]

Moo.

[Jess]

yawn

[workingatperfect]

neigh.

[Jess]

/'/[/[/

[workingatperfect]

lmdvmw

[Mob Boss]

(*--*)

[Jess]

/./././.

[Silicate Wielder]

cock-a-doodle-doo!

[Jess]

ddddddddddddd

[workingatperfect]

Mmwwmmww

[Jess]

aaaaaaaaa

[workingatperfect]

Jennifer Love Hewitt is sexy.

[Jess]

dsfsdfasdfasfsdfs

[West Coast Sheriff]

Shit, I've dropped down to third

[West Coast Sheriff]

I'm like 51 away.

[Jess]

lallalallalallallalalallalalall

[West Coast Sheriff]

50 ....

[Jess]

/'/'/'/'/'/'/

[West Coast Sheriff]

.........

[Jess]

//[/[[/[/[/[

[workingatperfect]

bitches they ain't shit and they ain't saying nothing.

[Jess]

[][][][][][][

[West Coast Sheriff]

Must reclaim silver

[Jess]

http://tutorial.math.lamar.edu/Classes/CalcI/LHospitalsRule_files/eq0005M.gif