Telling My Friend

[roxybaby]

I have a friend who I am pretty close with. And I want to tell her about my self harming for a multitude of reasons. 1. I feel like she should know if she's going to be my friend. 2. Telling someone, and having someone know might help me stop, which I am trying to. and 3. I don't want to have to worry about if she's gonna see my scars and guess anything.

But now are the downsides. One thing is that she could turn away from me and not want to have anything to do with me ever again because I'm so defected. And also, I really don't want my parents to know. I know that my parents will judge me. I know that they won't handle it the right way. I do not want my parents to know under any circumstances, I don't want them to know that I'm any less perfect than they already know I am. But she tells her grandparents everything. And her grandparents know my parents very well. If she tells her grandparents, my parents will eventually find out. And even if I tell her she can't tell anybody, there is still a teeny tiny chance she may still tell her grandparents.

But there is infact a small chance that she may understand, and help me quit. I know from hearing her grandparents talk about her that she has kind of a dark past. I didn't ask them to elaborate on what she was into, but from what I picked up it stemmed from her mother's alcoholism and school gang problems.

So, I would really like you guy's opinions on what might happen and what i should do.

And also, if i told her, which method do you think I should go by? I could email her with it, or talk to her in person. If I emailed her there would be more of a chance of it staying confidential I think. In fact, the info might even stay only on the internet. But if we talked in real life, then we could cry and hug together. And I might be able to help her understand if she didn't. But I feel like if we talked about it in spoken words then she might feel like it was perfectly d=fine to talk about it out in the open. IDK. What would you guys do?

[West Coast Sheriff]

Do it in person and ask her not to tell her grand parents

[CyanideGoodnight]

Do it in person. That way she could tell you were serious and hear the emotion In your voice.

[roxybaby]

Do it in person. That way she could tell you were serious and hear the emotion In your voice.

i know I'm going to break down crying. But oh well.

I wonder how I should lead up to iy, and how should I word it?

[LoveMe_HateMe]

If she's a good enough friend and you trust her, the words will just tumble out.

But be aware, I'd told one person and (let me call them Tweedle) Tweedle got "worried about me" and told Tweedle's best friend, who in turn told his partner and things kicked off between me and Tweedle and it told my parents. And then before I knew it, I'd lost track of who knew and how they knew. For an example, my girlfriend knows (obviously) but I can't remember how she found out.

But, my point is, make sure you can 100% trust you're friend. I'm not trying to make you doubt yourself if you're making the right decision in telling her - because in all honesty, it does help having someone you can talk to, you just have to make sure that it's the right person... IF that makes any sense.

But like the others have said, it's best to do it in person, its more personal that way and it'll show her that you really trust her and she'll be able to see that you are being serious.

Crying is a good outlet. Definitely better than cutting anyway. The most from crying you'll get is a blotchy face for a couple of hours.

Anyway, hope this helps you :)