I cried myself to sleep.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

I cried myself to sleep last night. First time in months. I'm just a complete wreck at the minute. I've got so much to fucking do and I don't know how to cope with it all. I can't seem to find the balance for everything, for work, college, college work, friends (loljk what friends?!), girlfriend, gym, family. Only been back to college a week and I'm already tired. Already trying my hardest not to fucking drown. I can't take it much more of this is. Contemplated suicide last night, and I mean actually full on planned it out and everything.

I am either gonna have a complete mental break down, completely snap or end up in hospital soon. I just can't do it anymore.

I want to die. Well, no that's not true... I just want everything to end, to be over, so I can find peace and calm with out any stresses or worries.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

You're not the first person this week to tell me that I need to have a break and chill. The thing is though, I can't take a break. College - I've got so much work to do this year, I can't miss any lessons, work - I have no holidays left.

I have got some one close, but I don't want to tell her, because I know she'll worry about me. And I don't want that.

Everything's just so messed up at the minute.

[Drew5]

ditch your friends. less time with family. prioritize!

you are allowing yourself to be pulled in too many directions. Friends are great and all but reduce your time with them 90 percent.
take a good hard look at how many hours you spend with each thing you listed

[Fiction]

This sounds like me last year.

It felt like everyone needed something from me. My boyfriend at the time was controlling an abusive, I had alot of college work, friends wanted things from me, family wanted things from me. I felt like I was constantly trying to please everyone, and I just couldn't do it.

In the end I did end up in hospital after overdosing. That was a real wake up call to me. It was the second time i'd landed myself in hospital like that. I realised something needed to change or I really was going to kill myself. So I looked at what was causing me the most stress. My boyfriend. I left him and things became instantly better. You just need to look at the things in your life and see if any of those things are asking an unreasonable amount from you. If they are, drop them. Trying to please everyone else in your life will not make you happy. You have to please yourself, that's what nearly killing myself taught me, and now I can honestly say i'm happy for the first time in years.

Now, work. Think about it logically. Do you need the money? If not maybe that's something you can cut out. If you do, maybe you can shorten your hours?

College and college work. Now, I imagine you have time at college where you have frees. You can make use of those frees too do some of your college work, so you have more free time after college and at weekends? Also remembering why you're going to college will also help you. I assume you're going to college for some sort of desired career? And i'm sure you have certain grades that you're aiming for? Use this as motivation :)

Friends. Well i'm sure friends you have are also busy doing work, surly they'll understand if you have to cut down the amount of time seeing them? The same with your girlfriend and family.

As for the gym, maybe you should stop going to the gym and replace it with another form of excercise? Such as going for a 30 minute run in an evening. Running from home means there is no time taken up by travelling to the gym etc.

Try and get yourself a weekly routine. I always find that feeling organised and knowing what i'm doing calms me down.

Killing yourself, or attempting too is not worth it I promise you that. It's not going to help the amount of stress you're under, it's going to increase it. Instead of panicking, take a moment to look at your life, organise yourself and just breathe, and before you do anything, see how that goes :)

[LoveMe_HateMe]

Drop out of college then. Take a year off and rest. It would be better to drop out than to struggle with suicidal thoughts Try to look for solutions and not problems. I'm sure there is lots of good in your life; you may just need to find it

I can't drop out of college. It's not that easy. I have been looking for solutions. Only good thing in my life is my girlfriend.

ditch your friends. less time with family. prioritize!

you are allowing yourself to be pulled in too many directions. Friends are great and all but reduce your time with them 90 percent.
take a good hard look at how many hours you spend with each thing you listed

Ditch my friends? Last time I spent any time with them was end of July, beginning of August. Less time with family? Hardly see them, maybe 5 minutes here and there.

This sounds like me last year.

It felt like everyone needed something from me. My boyfriend at the time was controlling an abusive, I had alot of college work, friends wanted things from me, family wanted things from me. I felt like I was constantly trying to please everyone, and I just couldn't do it.

In the end I did end up in hospital after overdosing. That was a real wake up call to me. It was the second time i'd landed myself in hospital like that. I realised something needed to change or I really was going to kill myself. So I looked at what was causing me the most stress. My boyfriend. I left him and things became instantly better. You just need to look at the things in your life and see if any of those things are asking an unreasonable amount from you. If they are, drop them. Trying to please everyone else in your life will not make you happy. You have to please yourself, that's what nearly killing myself taught me, and now I can honestly say i'm happy for the first time in years.

Now, work. Think about it logically. Do you need the money? If not maybe that's something you can cut out. If you do, maybe you can shorten your hours?

College and college work. Now, I imagine you have time at college where you have frees. You can make use of those frees too do some of your college work, so you have more free time after college and at weekends? Also remembering why you're going to college will also help you. I assume you're going to college for some sort of desired career? And i'm sure you have certain grades that you're aiming for? Use this as motivation :)

Friends. Well i'm sure friends you have are also busy doing work, surly they'll understand if you have to cut down the amount of time seeing them? The same with your girlfriend and family.

As for the gym, maybe you should stop going to the gym and replace it with another form of excercise? Such as going for a 30 minute run in an evening. Running from home means there is no time taken up by travelling to the gym etc.

Try and get yourself a weekly routine. I always find that feeling organised and knowing what i'm doing calms me down.

Killing yourself, or attempting too is not worth it I promise you that. It's not going to help the amount of stress you're under, it's going to increase it. Instead of panicking, take a moment to look at your life, organise yourself and just breathe, and before you do anything, see how that goes :)

I need my job, I need the money and I can't cut down the hours because my wages (if I don't do any overtime) only just cover everything that I need for the month, so that's not an option... Unfortunately.

College work, yes I am going to try and get the majority of it done in college time but I have a lot of work I need to do this year so I probably wont manage it, especially if I'm going for the grades that I want to achieve.

Friends, like I said above, not seen many of them since last year, but some of them not seen since July/August. Besides my relationship with my friends is practically non existent, it's a text or Facebook message here and there.

The gym is on way back from work/college so it's not too much of a problem. I'd love to just randomly go out for a run from home, but I'm not exactly in the best shape and I get embarrassed running out on the street, so I try and avoid it as much as possible.

I'm one of the most un-organised people I've ever met.

It's not that I want to kill myself, I just want everything to become slightly easier and simpler. I knew life would be complicated and stuff but I didn't realize it would mess with me like this.

I've got to the point that I don't want to go to sleep. I'm scared that I'll end up crying myself to sleep... Again. I have no way of controlling myself tonight as I'm on my own...

Really don't have a clue what to do anymore.

[Human]

You say you're very un-organised, why don't you try and make a literal schedule?
My sister made one, when she was taking her GCSE's and dance exams etc. she used to cry and get stressed all the time, but with a schedule of what she was going to do it really helped her:D

[milardglop]

You are not alone in this world, there would be someone who can cheer you up, just like what happened to me. Yes, sometimes I fall to sleep whenever I cry, maybe I fall to sleep because I am tired of crying.

[Thecodfather]

I know exactly how you feel, all of it. The suicidal thoughts, the crying, the coping; all of it. It feels like you have too much on your mind as if everything is about to collapse on you, you don't know how to cope with it all so you resort to your only exit witch is suicide, how I feel.

The best advice I have for you is to stay strong and to not let all these problems of yours bring you down, you have to fight or completely ignore them. Or they'll eat you out from the inside till their's nothing left. I really hope you stay strong and keep fighting for your girlfriend and your family, things will get better. And when you see that it is the thoughts and problems will just seem to fade away you just wait.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

I know exactly how you feel, all of it. The suicidal thoughts, the crying, the coping; all of it. It feels like you have too much on your mind as if everything is about to collapse on you, you don't know how to cope with it all so you resort to your only exit witch is suicide, how I feel.

The best advice I have for you is to stay strong and to not let all these problems of yours bring you down, you have to fight or completely ignore them. Or they'll eat you out from the inside till their's nothing left. I really hope you stay strong and keep fighting for your girlfriend and your family, things will get better. And when you see that it is the thoughts and problems will just seem to fade away you just wait.

On the surface - when I'm around people, I put on the "I'm happy and I don't have a care in the world" face. It works. Sometimes.

I do ignore my problems, which generally IS the problem, because they just come back 10x stronger and it bites me in the butt. Thus why I go through phases of "yeah I'm great - blah blah" and then its a "WTF, hello rock bottom"

I am fighting for my girlfriend, if it wasn't for her, I don't think I'd be here right now, I probably would've committed a long time ago.

Thank you.

[Kwmpa]

I've been there. It's not easy. I was actually in the hospital because of it...go seek some help most schools have someone to talk to that can give you some coping skills

[LoveMe_HateMe]

I've been there. It's not easy. I was actually in the hospital because of it...go seek some help most schools have someone to talk to that can give you some coping skills

Tried it through college. Lasted about two weeks. Just didn't feel comfortable talking to her.