I think I need help, but I just got drugs

[TigerBoy]

I was on mediation for Anxiety / Depression (well I said it was anxiety but everyone wanted to tell me it was depression).

So I was on Sertaline but I ended up on 100mg and I'm pretty sure it was making me too numb, I didn't feel like myself so I dropped the dose with the doctor a bit (100 one day, 50 the next, then back to 100 etc). It was a fight to agree to that.

At the start of the summer I decided the depression side was total bull, I wasn't being listened to by my parents or doctor so I cut it out altogether, by lowering the dose over about a month. No side effects.

Since then (3 months at least) I have felt much happier, much more my usual personality, and my friends have been much happier for me.

Two questions:

1) Am I right that this is 'anxiety' and should it be treated, and how:
I'm naturally very sensitive. That isn't unusual but for me stuff happens that makes me react in ways I don't think I should, out of proportion. So I will get a bitter taste in my mouth, I go cold and really shakey (my hands mainly), then I blush and sweat and feel hot. I feel emotionally screwed, like I've just had a major telling off or an argument.
Things that trigger it are not that big usually (like I said, I know I'm sensitive) : like I've had a couple of things on VT yesterday where I was kind of in trouble (one was a misunderstanding and all sorted, the other was a slap on the wrist which I felt was un needed but whatevs, i respect what the mods do) and both times I was like this.
I do not think I am otherwise depressed : I have motivation, I don't think about suicide and never have seriously, I don't self-harm and never have.

2) because of some history with my dad I am certain he likes me being on this medication because it made me less in his face with my sexuality. I.e. he's not a big fan of me being anything less than straight-acting, but is too educated to admit he's a homophobe. Any time I try to get help for what I think are anxiety attacks, he's going to push it back to me getting on the same kind of drugs, because thats what has happened so far.

So I think I need some sort of help because I hate reacting how I do, but I'm not getting the help I need. Advice please?

[SmexiLexie510]

I was depressed etc and was also put on Sertraline, they put me on to as much as 200mg before they figured out it wasn't working. What you're describing doesn't seem to be anxiety. Do you have a counselor/therapist that you can talk to about your confused feelings and they may be able to help you work through these feelings and maybe figure out what's wrong.

Do not let your dad put you on/persuade you or your doctor to put you back on the medication that you were on before which your doctor and you decided to come off. Your or his feelings about your sexuality should not interfere with your mental heath. Anything you need, I'm here :)

[TigerBoy]

Thanks Lexie.

I don't think I can get a therapist without my parents getting involved, but I definately would like to and thats one of the problems.

I've only talked to a GP and tbh they were really useless and just listened to what my dad said more than what I said. So when they asked about what was making me depressed my dad is right in there with me being gay, which has never bothered me at all, and I've not been bullied to the point of getting really down about it either.

It doesn't help that I'm shy, but basically as far as the GP was concerned I didn't need to have been there.

The real issue for me is ironically that this whole thing gets set off by confrontation, so I find it really really hard to (like sometimes I just never) do even important stuff I'm supposed to do if it makes me at all anxious. So kind of makes it hard to get myself out of this situation.

[Human]

Maybe you're just stressed, and confused. It isn't always anxiety, so just try to relax sometimes.

[TigerBoy]

Maybe you're just stressed, and confused. It isn't always anxiety, so just try to relax sometimes.

Stressed is another word that works for me, but the label isn't the main issue.

It happens like this:

chilled --> trigger --> emotional meltdown --> 10mins to 1hour of shaking and stress / anxiety/ whatever.

So the only opportunity to relax is after the 'meltdown', and by that point I think I'm just dealing with chemicals dumped by the meltdown so there is only so much you can do to speed that process along by positive thinking.

I would very much like to not react like this to put it mildly...

[Sinusitis]

You should relax and travel to get your strong mind again.I have some methods to help you to fight depression.
Exercise. Take a 15- to 30-minute brisk walk every day — or dance, jog, or bike if you prefer. People who are depressed may not feel much like being active. But make yourself do it anyway (ask a friend to exercise with you if you need to be motivated). Once you get in the exercise habit, it won't take long to notice a difference in your mood.

In addition to getting aerobic exercise, some yoga poses can help relieve feelings of depression. Try downward-facing dog or legs-up-the-wall pose (you can find these poses on yoga websites). Two other aspects of yoga — breathing exercises and meditation — can also help people with depression feel better.
Nurture yourself with good nutrition. Depression can affect appetite. One person may not feel like eating at all, but another might overeat. If depression has affected your eating, you'll need to be extra mindful of getting the right nourishment. Proper nutrition can influence a person's mood and energy. So eat plenty of fruits and vegetables and get regular meals (even if you don't feel hungry, try to eat something light, like a piece of fruit, to keep you going).
Identify troubles, but don't dwell on them. Try to identify any situations that have contributed to your depression. When you know what's got you feeling blue and why, talk about it with a caring friend. Talking is a way to release the feelings and to receive some understanding. If there's no one to tell, pouring your heart out to a journal works just as well.

Once you air out these thoughts and feelings, turn your attention to something positive. Take action to solve problems. Ask for help if you need it. Feeling connected to friends and family can help relieve depression. (It may also help them feel there's something they can do instead of just watching you hurt.)
Express yourself. With depression, a person's creativity and sense of fun may seem blocked. Exercise your imagination (painting, drawing, doodling, sewing, writing, dancing, composing music, etc.) and you not only get those creative juices flowing, you also loosen up some positive emotions. Take time to play with a friend or a pet, or do something fun for yourself. Find something to laugh about — a funny movie, perhaps. Laughter helps lighten your mood.
Look on the bright side. Depression affects a person's thoughts, making everything seem dismal, negative, and hopeless. If depression has you noticing only the negative, make an effort to notice the good things in life. Try to notice one thing, then try to think of one more. Consider your strengths, gifts, or blessings. Most of all, don't forget to be patient with yourself. Depression takes time to heal.

[TigerBoy]

@Sinusitis thanks for taking the time to write all that ... but as I said above, I don't believe I am depressed.

I do more exercise than most people, I have a great boyfriend, I don't go around feeling sad or down, and I have no trouble being active : i'm motivated and busy, and my only issue is dealing with things that have any confrontation or whatever.