is there anything i can do??

[Tedward]

So a month ago i went on a scout camp, and got together with this girl in my group. we've known of each other for a while but tbh we knew very little about each other and had barely spoken before the camp. Everything was brilliant, then we all got back home and, excluding the way i feel about her, i feel like everythings changed.

this is my first relationship, and i have no real idea what im doing, and because of this i've completely lost my confidence around her...especially when we're together with other people around. i feel like there's this huge audience monitoring everything i do, and all the pressure makes me distracted leading to me saying and doing stupid things (and generally being awkward)... such as not sitting next to her or being afraid to put arm round her...we havent kissed and its been at least a month...( does this really matter?)

I thought it would reduce the awkwardness if we had more to talk about and that involved getting to know each other better so ive made every effort to see her as much as possible, but its all been like seeing films, playing a bit of tennis..nothing that really involves talking and getting to know our interests...What doesnt help is that shes really busy and i have quite a lot of free time so it always feels like me asking her out and rarely the other way round (..that said i do still think she wants this relationship to work as well as me). To make matters worse its her birthday in 6 days i have no idea what i should get her...:/

I know this is a huge lot of writing so if anyone gets through it all and gives some advise i REALLY appreciate it..thanks :)

[Desuetude]

Well it helps that the exact same thing is happening with my friend. Although I don't think she realises, I see it :P

It's good that you're trying to make things work, that's the attitude to have. Have you considered that she might not know how to act and what to do around you, as well? I think you should sit down and talk to her, tell her how you feel, be honest because that's always the best way to go with relationships. The more open you are then the more you'll start to trust each other. As you say you lose your confidence so maybe write her a letter? Tell her what you told us, how you're not sure what you're meant to be doing and how you want things to work out so you're putting effort in. I'm sure she'd appreciate the honesty if she really wants you guys to work out as well. If it's all a one-sided thing without both people putting in the effort then you'll find it a lot harder and the relationship will most likely fall apart.

Don't think of her birthday as a bad thing. It's good. It gives you a chance to do something nice and show her you care. Maybe get her a nice bracelet or necklace if she's girly (nothing tacky but it's not like it has to be overly expensive). If not then maybe book tickets to a band that she likes and go and see them with her? Think outside the box. Don't go for the usual stuff although, give her something that she'll remember, make an impact. Maybe look up some birthday ideas? yahoo answers sometimes comes in very handy in these situations.

I hope things go well with her :)