Not abuse, right?

[MangoLoop]

So... I’m not sure how to start this. I don’t think there is a problem. But after reading some of the things on here i’m starting to wonder. My dad is a really good guy. I mean I have a computer that I'm allowed to use! He just likes to make sure everything is done in a certain way. I cook the food for my house and I usually get one meal a day, usually the one I get at school. Sometimes if I’m on my best behavior I get dinner. When I don’t behave my dad withholds my seizure medication. It makes sense. It costs a lot of money and when i’m not behaving i’m not really worth the money. We don't have a lot of money anyways. If i’m late making dinner, which doesn’t happen often, my dad holds my arm down on the stove burner. He likes dinner at 7. If I was 5 minutes late, he holds it down for 5 seconds. I also get my nightly punishment. Usually he just kicks me a few times and throws me around. When I do something really bad and he gets really mad he punishes me by slamming my hand in the car door or something like that. I don’t really care, he doesn’t punish my little brother, which I think is good. He’s only 2 and a half.
Do you really think there is a problem? I mean I know about abuse, but abuse is someone beats their kids for doing nothing. He punishes me for doing things wrong. And I must be doing something wrong for him to only punish me and not my brother.
Right?

[sisu]

I consider that abuse cause hes kicking, throwing you around and doing other stuff that's not good for you and also holding your arm on a stove burner ain't that some painful shit. Also hes punishing you just for not having dinner ready in time, don't you think that's unfair. Now, that's just my opinion so hate on me as much you want.

[Breakeven]

this is abuse , even if u did something wrong he have no right to do that to u

[Nathan Numberless]

This is FAR from abuse. This is flat-out call-the-cops shit. I suggest you go to your local police station and tell them the situation so he can be locked up in a padded room forever. 1 meal a day!? Depriving of medication?! This is flat-out inhumane behavier and almost slavery. If you ever need to talk about anything just talk to me, Kay?

[xXJust Jump ItXx]

I agree with Nathan above me... Its abuse yes and yeah its serious and I wouldnt hesitate to call the cops! Ive been burned on a stove top... hurts like hell! And what he is doing, all of it really... its wrong. He shouldnt be keeping your medication from you, starving you really, and pushing you, kicking you either!

[MangoLoop]

I don't want to call the cops. I can't call the cops. They will just take my brother away from me. I don't think I can handle that...

[Nathan Numberless]

I don't want to call the cops. I can't call the cops. They will just take my brother away from me. I don't think I can handle that...

Bullshit! You and your brother will go to a respectable foster family where you can visit your dad (if you actually want to) once a month if you like. Who told you that anyway? Don't be scared to call the cops, he won't be able to do anything once you have. What you're going through isn't 'discipline'. It's abuse and it's your choice to change it.

[Swagamemmnon]

I'm so sorry that this happened to you, but this would be considered abuse. This made me cry a little bit, as it must be horrible to be abused by your father, someone who, as a close family member, should take care of you. I couldn't possibly understand what you're going through.

[bigfoot]

Yes I recommend calling the police. What if he starting abusing your brother!? Just remember that it is not your fault. I'm sorry you are going through this...

[VictoriaGotaSecret]

ALL of that is physical abuse. Slaming hands in the car door on purpose, burning you, kicking you... You need to tell someone and you will need some type of proof to get him taken away(scars, witnesses)

[MangoLoop]

Bullshit! You and your brother will go to a respectable foster family where you can visit your dad (if you actually want to) once a month if you like. Who told you that anyway? Don't be scared to call the cops, he won't be able to do anything once you have. What you're going through isn't 'discipline'. It's abuse and it's your choice to change it.

My neighbor called social services once. They came but they didn't do anything. My dad told me that if we ever left that my littler brother would get adopted and I would never see him again. I can't let that happen. Jay is really all I have left... Besides, my dad told me stories about what happens to kids in foster care.

That is a fair point, but if you leave it and then he gets older and you leave... Won't he start abusing your brother instead???
If I leave, I would take my brother with me.

[Nathan Numberless]

What your DAD SAID is bullshit. You will most certainly see your brother again. Of course your dad told you horrible made-up stories of children under foster care! He obviously doesn't want you to leave! Don't you see what's going on here? Everything your dad has said was just his trick into brainwashing you to be his slave. You have rights like any other american and it's your turn to use them!

[MangoLoop]

What your DAD SAID is bullshit. You will most certainly see your brother again. Of course your dad told you horrible made-up stories of children under foster care! He obviously doesn't want you to leave! Don't you see what's going on here? Everything your dad has said was just his trick into brainwashing you to be his slave. You have rights like any other american and it's your turn to use them!

I'm just so scared. I wish that I could just disappear. I can't handle this stress. There are too many "What ifs".

[Nathan Numberless]

There are no what ifs! Your brain has been washed! You don't want your brain washed, do you?



Just call the police, they'll sort everything out and answer all the questions and 'what if's'

[Decim]

I'm just so scared. I wish that I could just disappear. I can't handle this stress. There are too many "What ifs". Trust me... social services now a days has a policy. They will keep siblings in the same home no matter what. It is not just luck, they legally HAVE to. You and your brother will stay in the same home, and even though it's scary, the people there will give you your medication, they will not harm you, and they will not be mean to you. They will make you food, they'll buy you things, and love you.

Your father is lying. None of the things he said would happen are true, he just knows what hes doing is wrong, and if you knew that you could have a happy life with your brother he couldn't keep abusing you.

For your own brothers sake... phone the police. Do you want him to have to go through this? I'm not even talking about you, but I would be willing to give up the chance to see my sibling ever again as long as they did not need to go through this abuse. If you want your brother and yourself to be happy... you need to get out of that home.

There are no "what if's". If you phone the police, the following will happen;
Your father will be criminally charged
You will be put into a loving foster home that has been checked by professionals for safety hazards
You will no longer have to endure abuse and you do not need to worry for your brother
You will never have to see your father alone again. He will only have the rights to see you if you choose to let him when you are older.

Make sure to have proof. If you can, leave a tape recorder on, or just come up with a story that your brother will back up. If worst comes to worse, you can even tell them that he is sexually abusing you (whether he is or not is not of concern), and there's no way they will leave you with your father. You will not be punished.

[MangoLoop]

...I'm making the call. I'm scared, but you guys are all right. I can't risk my brother's safety. I think I have enough proof as of now. I'll keep you guys updated.

[Decim]

...I'm making the call. I'm scared, but you guys are all right. I can't risk my brother's safety. I think I have enough proof as of now. I'll keep you guys updated. That is very brave of you, I'm sure your little brother would be proud of you for standing up for yourself.

Make sure you have proof before calling, some times they aren't able to criminally charge even if they do allow you to leave the home, so make sure you can get him put away to keep yourself safe.

[Nathan Numberless]

You might wanna start saving up nickels for a lawyer :D JK

Good job on making the call! Stay strong and good luck :D

[sisu]

Damn you are brave to call the cops. Let's just hope it will end well. Good luck.

[ECSTASY]

it's abuse man.
he does sth which is bad for you bro :/

[Human]

I find this unbelievable 0.0 yes, it's serious abuse.

[SpasticatedPengiun]

I consider that serious abuse and I actually think that you should call child line, I mean kicking you, holding your hand on a hot stove, and smashing your hand in the car door is 1 thing but taking away your seizure medication?!!? that's just plain... well I wont insult him but I will say that what he is doing is really wrong, I really hope you make it long enough to move out, Stay strong and love be with you :)

[Professional Russian]

Yes I would consider that abuse. Hes Physically harming you which is classified as abuse. you should probably tell someone about this

[Carlyle]

Whoa whoa whoa. Its good that he doesn't do that to your brother, but doing that to you is most definitely abuse.

No matter how badly you behave, making dinner a little later than usual is no reason to hold your arm down on the stove. You could get really bad burns from that and even welts, and those can be painful from past experience..

It doesn't matter how expensive your seizure medication is, he has no reason to withhold that from you. What if you just started to have a seizure on a higher up area? I know there are usually reasons for having one, but if you just had one out of the blue, you could get seriously hurt. That is one thing he should NEVER do, no matter how badly you behave.

1 meal a day is very little for the human body. You need the energy you get from food, 1 meal a day doesn't cut it. Part of what is usually done for people is spacing out when they eat to get there body what it needs and make it easier to digest, but if he is limiting you to a meal a day and its only what you get at school, he's starving you.

Abuse isn't just beating a child for no reason, its also doing it excessively over something small. If you're late, he could take away something you have or make you do extra chores or something, but that is most definitely abuse. You really need to tell someone about it before it gets worse or seriously affects you.

Its good your brother is okay, but the instant you see that, you need to do something if you haven't already. Good luck, hope things can get better for you soon.

[Mortal Coil]

Uhm, yeah this is abuse. You only think these are "wrong" and "worth the punishment" because he's conditioned you to think that way. From an outsider's perspective, you really aren't doing much wrong by making dinner late. Definitely not enough for him to possibly do permanent damage to your body.

Also, one meal per day isn't enough. You'll starve, love. Stay strong :hug:

(It is my personal opinion that your dad is a slimeball and I want to put him through the same pain he has given you.)

[StephanieSanders]

Call the cops. This is so horrible to read, no one should suffer like you do.

[project_icarus]

There most certainly is a problem. That's not at all normal, even if you perceive it to be. No matter how badly he sees you to behave, he has no right to do any of those things. I mean the direct, kicking you, burning you, throwing you around... That's pretty serious stuff. As well as keeping you from your seizure medications - seizures, again, are serious. All of these can lead to permanent damage.

One meal a day isn't healthy. I'm not going to go in to that for my own reasons, but you're a human, and humans need that fuel to survive - he's depriving you of that fuel.

It's really, really, brave of you to speak up. For your brother, and for your own well-being. The authorities will be able to help you, you need to let them help you. You've taken the first step here, and that's great. I admire your courage.

Also, I second this opinion.

(It is my personal opinion that your dad is a slimeball and I want to put him through the same pain he has given you.)

Please do keep us updated.
All the best. I hope you're okay! :)