Help.

[Noxail]

I don't know what to say. I'm so scared. I want to come out and just get it over with, but I have no idea what my family, my friends or everyone else will say. My family isn't all that religious, and hell, I'm athiest, but I've sat there and listened to my father bash gay people right infront of me. I need courage. Please. I don't know what I'm asking, but someone help me. ~holli

[Noirtier]

Coming out can be a scary thing no matter what. Trust me, I know. Take things at your own pace though hun. I know you want to come out and get it over with. And I know how scared you are. And how it is to have a family that may not exactly be accepting of LGBT people. I believe in you though. Start small, telling someone you trust who you know wouldn't judge you no matter what. It gets easier, hun. I'm here for you :)

[Mortal Coil]

If your father is that homophobic, then perhaps you should wait to come out to him at least until you move away. I'm sorry you're in this situation and really hope that you can get through it somehow. You have all my support and best wishes :hug:

[Gordo]

Does your dad bash them only in front of you? If so he might be looking to see how you react to it if he already thinks you might be.

If you are aware through your mom or a sibling that he bashes when you're not around, then we know he's clueless about you.

What I don't get about most older people when it come to not accepting someone's sexuality is that it's safe to say that they've known gay people or know gay people, but because they share their dislike of it with others, they aren't aware that they've had good relationships and liked gay people, but they just didn't know about their sexuality. Which really shouldn't matter.

So I'd try to figure out how often your dad talks like that. I'd see if what your mom thinks too. If it were me, If you can, it might be best if you only brush up on the subject with one family member and then wait a long while before mentioning it again.

I guess with your mom I'd go the route of mentioning a celebrity or singer that is gay and that you like their work, but they're gay and should that matter? That way, you're just seeing what their opinion on it is without including yourself or making it personal. So you've distanced yourself from it in a way. If you happen to know someone who is gay at school and they are good at track or can sing etc, bring it up in the same way or if it is a sport, say you are just a tiny bit skittish of the locker room because you're pretty sure some of the people there are gay or should you just not concern myself with it because it doesn't matter.

My hope for you would be that you'd have an idea about how hostile your parents might be about this subject and once you know that, you can decide if you want to wait until you're on your own or deal with a hostile environment.

Another thing is your parents love you with the old, "no matter what" attached. It might be difficult for a while, but your parents won't abandon you, particularly a mom. To make a point, look at all the moms that still love their kids when their convicted of a crime and then visit them in jail - and they chose to do a crime. You didn't get to make a choice, so I'd like to believe parents might have difficulty for a while, but in the end, you're their kid.