age of consent question

[TigerBoy]

I'm going to be 18 in February and my boyfriend will still be 15 (he's 16 a month later).

I'm really worried about some stuff, and a really big issue for me is whether either of us can get into serious legal trouble. I've got some related things but I'll put those in a different post. At the moment we haven't tried asking parents for various reasons but mainly we're not sure we could trust how true and reliable they would be anyway.

So basically if someone wanted to make trouble for us (and believe me there are some haters who probably will), the way I see it is we are ok now (I think), but the age of consent in the UK is 16 so if I turn 18 then for a month in theory the law says that suddenly we're illegal?

So I suppose my question is if anyone has any actual knowledge of how this works in law, or experience that might help.

Theres no ****ing way we're breaking up just because the law says so, but we've even talked about running away for a few months if we had to which kind of freaked me out the next day, so I'm trying to give us better options.

[Asiandude]

ummm i have the same issue, i just turned 15 and my boyfriend is turning 18 in October. well from my research it says you cant have sexual contact with him until hes 16 cause it would be illegal. sooo im not sure if thats right, im not from the uk so i dont know much about it. but x out the breaking up and running away for sure because thats crazy if i broke up with my boyfriend nope just couldnt do it and if i ran away my parents would be after me sooo idk tell me on your progress, hope it goes well

[Nellerin]

Last time I checked if one person is over 18 then the other must be as well so stay away from sex for now.

[FreeFall]

I'm not sure how it is in the UK but here in America the age of consent means the minimum age of having sex with someone older/legal. So a 16 year old could get dirty with a 70 year old because the age of consent here is 16. Again I don't know but I'm pretty sure that law for you guys doesn't mean break up because he's an adult and you aren't. You guys are fine just wait for the month for him to become legal.

[Danny_boi 16]

You would be an adult, which makes it illegal. So just wait for a little bit.

[TigerBoy]

ummm i have the same issue, i just turned 15 and my boyfriend is turning 18 in October. well from my research it says you cant have sexual contact with him until hes 16 cause it would be illegal.

Yeah that must be really difficult to live with, whatever you guys do or don't do.


but x out the breaking up and running away for sure because thats crazy if i broke up with my boyfriend nope just couldnt do it and if i ran away my parents would be after me sooo idk tell me on your progress, hope it goes well

Yeah true, we were a bit tired and emotional when that came up. It was a worst case scenario : thing is if someone says something, we'd get all the shit from the law / social services whether or not they could prove anything. Which is why I'm looking into the facts now.

I'm not sure how it is in the UK but here in America the age of consent means the minimum age of having sex with someone older/legal. So a 16 year old could get dirty with a 70 year old because the age of consent here is 16. Again I don't know but I'm pretty sure that law for you guys doesn't mean break up because he's an adult and you aren't. You guys are fine just wait for the month for him to become legal.

Thanks for your thoughts (and ewwww ). So breaking up, even pretending to break up, i'm not sure if that would even matter if someone got the law involved, they'd still be all over us (I assume?). Its really hard not to be paranoid i've got no experience of this stuff.

We did think about keeping us a secret for now but it was a bit too late by the time we thought that far ahead, plus it probably would have come out anyway.

[FreeFall]

Wait wait. In the UK your age of consent law means a person 18 and over, cannot date anyone younger?

If it does, that's some messed up law.

If it means a person under the age of consent cannot engage in sexual activities with someone legal, then stop being sexually active until your bf turns 16.

I'm so confused but I wish you guys the best of luck!

[TigerBoy]

Wait wait. In the UK your age of consent law means a person 18 and over, cannot date anyone younger?

If it does, that's some messed up law.

If it means a person under the age of consent cannot engage in sexual activities with someone legal, then stop being sexually active until your bf turns 16.

I'm so confused but I wish you guys the best of luck!

Noooo sorry I'm sort of mixing up several bits of logic and confusing things and being generally blonde as usual. So the law covers sex not dating (thats what I think anyway).

My fear is no one is going to believe that we aren't having sex (for what its worth we've actually not gone that far yet but how the hell do you prove that lol). I know I wouldn't believe that if I was investigating. So they are going to have reasonable suspicion or whatevs to investigate, and yeah ok so maybe it comes to nothing but still, just the authorities getting involved could seriously mess up our lives for a while.

[Jose]

Hey c asked my older bro he is in 2nd yr law it depends on states but most are 18 yo consent so if ur bf/gf is under thdt they cdnnot 4ve consent so u are having sex w / underage minor and since bf/gf is nnot 17 xet it may alro be saautory rape but if the persnon wants to and no one finds out u might be ok be careful

[Gigablue]

Check the laws carefully and wait until he is at least 16. I know here in Canada the age of consent is 16 but for anal sex it's 18. You should check to make sure the UK doesn't have a similar law.

[FullyAlive]

The age for any and all sex in the UK is 16 as far as I can see.

This means that regardless of whether you're 17 or 18 you're still over 16 and he isn't. As far as the law is concerned he can't give consent until he's 16 which means if you do have sex it will technically be statutory rape. However as far as the police are concerned you two are in a relationship there's nothing predatory going on I doubt they'd charge you unless you were reported which is unlikely.

Read over this. (http://www.fpa.org.uk/professionals/factsheets/lawonsex) But basically I think you'll be okay although its worth noting technically anything is illegal until he's 16.

[TigerBoy]

The age for any and all sex in the UK is 16 as far as I can see.

This means that regardless of whether you're 17 or 18 you're still over 16 and he isn't. As far as the law is concerned he can't give consent until he's 16 which means if you do have sex it will technically be statutory rape. However as far as the police are concerned you two are in a relationship there's nothing predatory going on I doubt they'd charge you unless you were reported which is unlikely.

Read over this. (http://www.fpa.org.uk/professionals/factsheets/lawonsex) But basically I think you'll be okay although its worth noting technically anything is illegal until he's 16.


Cool some facts, thanks.

Ok so that freaked me out because I didn't know that, but luckily your link said this:

the law is not intended to prosecute mutually agreed teenage sexual activity between two young people of a similar age, unless it involves abuse or exploitation

so we're ok for now, which was what we thought (or else the police would have a busy busy time).

So it does come back to this small bit of time where suddenly its all illegal. As far as I can see if someone grasses us up even though we aren't doing anything at all for that month, we could still end up with me getting arrested on suspicion, and, eg, drag my boyfriend off to be examined to see if he's been 'raped' ???? Which is making me really really angry just thinking about it. I mean I know his parents wouldn't want that but would they even be able to stop them? :mad:

I'm starting to think I need to get actual legal advice and I don't even know if I can do that without my parents (who would probably try to sweep this under the carpet).

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Foamy]

It's just one month. Just lay low if you're worried. Don't make it something to worry about.

[Kirsi]

In Canada it is if you are 16 or 17 then you can with other 16 and 17 year old's but not younger and if you are 18 then you can with anyone 18 or over but no one under. 15 and under your not supposed to at all. I have no idea what it's like anywhere else.

[metsochist]

I haven't read all of the posts, so I apologize if this is redundant. Age of consent will apply in your case. But, you have to keep in mind that an accuser has the burden of proof. Certainly don't run off together. Those laws are designed to protect children who can't make decisions on their own, and running off makes you look like neither of you are mature enough to make decisions. you don't need legal advice. The only people who could legally bring a case are your boy friend's parents (they're the only ones with legal standing). I couldn't, for instance, call the police and accuse you. So, if you trust your boy friend's parents, you're fine. Even if you don't, you can continue seeing eachother. No judge is going to allow a case like this to go anywhere anyway. And, they would have to prove something for the police to do anything anyway. I really think you're worrying over nothing. Though I do understand why your concern.

[James12345]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Age_of_Consent_-_North_America.svg
this is in the case you livein america ;)

here in germany the age of consent is 14.
That means if you are 14. You can have sexual contect with whoeve yopu want.(even if he would be 80^^) exept this person is a trainer , family member (setp-father), teacher or somethuing else.

[Ugfkut]

If he is 16, as this is the legal age of consent, you will not have any legal problem even if you turn 18. Moreover, there would not be a penalty for you even if it was illegal if your boyfriend declares it was a mutual accord thing.

[FullyAlive]

so we're ok for now, which was what we thought (or else the police would have a busy busy time).

So it does come back to this small bit of time where suddenly its all illegal. As far as I can see if someone grasses us up even though we aren't doing anything at all for that month, we could still end up with me getting arrested on suspicion, and, eg, drag my boyfriend off to be examined to see if he's been 'raped' ???? Which is making me really really angry just thinking about it. I mean I know his parents wouldn't want that but would they even be able to stop them? :mad:

I'm starting to think I need to get actual legal advice and I don't even know if I can do that without my parents (who would probably try to sweep this under the carpet).

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Well yes sexual contact with him is illegal until March so that's a good six months. The police don't just arrest people they see in the street someone would have to make a genuine report which is unlikely. And even then I doubt they'd 'examine' because he wouldn't have been raped that's just what it is named legally. If you both said the contact was consented too and wanted they'd probably leave it. And equally if you both said nothing happened it would probably be dropped too.

But you could always be on the safe side and refrain from sex until March.

[horizonlooker]

Honestly, they can't do anything about it unless he reports it. Or unless someone else reports that he's being sexually harmed. I doubt either of you want that, so it shouldn't matter, regardless of age. Even if you do have sex, unless someone reports it, it's no big deal.

[Imfeelinglostagain]

Even if someone said you were doing it to the law they can't do anything about it because they have no proof unless the catch you in the act or have hard core proof. So when hes 16 and your 18 you guys will b fine