I can't take this anymore

[christer]

I'm so lonely and just constantly angry or upset I can't keep this up anymore I used to have people that could help me feel...normal but now they've all left me and I don't know why It's like everyone I get close too and trust ends up stabbing me in the back and I just can't control myself anymore.

Every single close friend I've ever had has ended up just using me and then throwing me away I was fine after all of them left though because at least I still had my best friend they guy I had known for ten years he had helped me through my last breakup with my ex gf which was really bad without him I don't think I could of made it through my life or anything he was always there for me through my years of home schooling when I saw noone else.

But last weekend he had thought I was out of town with my family so I was in my room just watching tv when all of a sudden I hear people outside I heard one of them say I'll get the window I jumped out of bed and grabbed my phone ready to call the cops well long story short they got in just after I called the cops I grabbed this bat thing and went and checked it out as soon as the guys saw me they ran but one of them was my best friend my friend wasnt quick enough to get away and I got him once the cops came he confessed that he had planned for him and his mates to come up and pretty much completely burgle my place.

I mean that was the absolute worst a friend has ever done to me but now I have none to talk to it seems like everyone who gets close to me leaves me and this years been the worst I lost the only person I've ever been in love with my ex girlfriend and now I've lost my best mate and now I'm scared because I'm just so angry and upset...I'm not sure how much longer i can keep going on like this.

[Zarakly]

Wow sorry about that. I don't know if you mean you want to do suicide, but if you are, don't. Life is a precious thing. It will get better eventually. IF your angry or upset maybe you can try and put that to use. When I am angry/upset for example, I am able to get a lot of work done. If that doesn't relieve the stress, maybe try cutting down a tree or something. It takes a lot of energy and that usually makes me feel better after. Just if you do that, make sure that you do replant. You don't want all the forests disappearing.

[christer]

yeah I don't really think I would do suicide but I just don't know and yeah lol I can get alot of work done too but as soon as it's like night time and I'm just sitting here thinking It all comes back and I just feel so isolated.

[Zarakly]

Oh I see. Maybe you can head to bed earlier so your not awake during the night? Or what about gaming for the night? You can make friends and not be alone. It could also take your mind off of what your focusing on.

[christer]

Yeah I just wish things were different allI want is someone I can trust again but I don't know if i'll ever be able to after what's happened.

[Breakeven]

ur not alone in this if u need someone to talk with feel free to pm :hug:
start a hobby , something u like and that will keep ur mind off things , that way u wont think about things get u upset

[christer]

thank you :)
the worst part is that I can't make any new friends either because I've been on homeschool for years now I've kind of lost the ability to be able to socialise with people or connect with them :(

[Breakeven]

well about making friends , u can try to be around people more and join an organization or club with people who have common interests or try volunteer

[christer]

yeah I'm part of an art club but it's like whenever I try to get to know people or people try to talk to me I completely freeze up I always just end up doing my own thing in the corner of the room or something