Overprotective mom

[dedee]

hi i believe that my mom is way too overprotective. Im 17 and she lets me go out with friend and everything but shes always getting on my case saying im not allowed to go unless she knows who im going out with in person. like the other day i was going out with a guy friend and she actually made me introduce him to her.
Also shes always saying things like "Oh you are not allowed to ride with any of your friends because they are too crazy" she always think something bad is going to happen.
The thing is im almost 18 and im feeling like im going to choose to go away to college just togain my freedom. Im scared of this feelings because i do love my mom but its getting too overbearing.

[TheKidThatIsOnAboat]

i feel your pain, maybe you should talk to her about it

[FreeFall]

That's normal mom stuff. Mine stopped that when I was 16, because she trusts me.
I keep good company, never given her reason to doubt me, was a good kid, clean nose, and a good head on my shoulders.

You can sit your mom down and tell her how you feel, be mature about it. If you come off whiny and irritated that she's being a hover parent, you'll make it worse. Just tell her she doesn't need to worry so much, and prove to her that she has no reason to fret. When you turn 18, you'll still have to live by her rules if she keeps them. So nip this in the bud while you can by getting her to understand (: good luck!

[dedee]

thats the thing.. she says she trusts me and I havent given her a reason not to. and I have talked to her about ive told her a million times that shes going to have to let go sometime that Im growing up but its frustating because she always cuts the ccconversation by saying that she trusts me but she doesnt trust people

[FreeFall]

Aaaaah. I get it! I'm the same way with my boyfriend. I trust him 100%, just not any girls.

So she trusts you. She still doesn't want you getting hurt. She doesn't think you'll get yourself into trouble or get yourself hurt, she thinks others will. And it's true. You can be the safest person and do everything right, and still end up awful because of other people. I'm a real cautious driver, I'm not a granny but I'm super aware. I got rear-ended in a parking lot. Had the guy gone any faster, I would've had more than bruises.

Think of it this way. She wants to know where you are so if anything goes wrong and you can't get to your phone or use it, let's say a massive fire that can't be brought under control or a flash flood or a hostage robbery, she won't have to go through the "where's my daughter!? Where is she! Oh my god my baby! I have no idea where she is and something's happened! I don't know where she's gone!" she can say "oh she said she's at this and this place, she won't pick up the phone, I'll inform the rescue/help to look for her in the location she's given me/I'll head over there and make sure she's ok."
If the guy friend you went out with ditched you or pimped you out, not saying he's that guy it's just a situation example, she can easily say you were last seen with so and so and make finding you/helping other potential victims easier.
It's just putting her mind at ease to keep you from riding with friends. Let's face it, most of us are insane on the road. The stereotypes of us teen drivers are more than often proven true. There's probably not much to be done about that, I don't have advice about that.

I know it sucks and you probably hate it, but once you're 18/move out you get all the freedom you want. Just try talking to her again, she may be afraid of the world and what not but you're not and she's going to have to let go of you sometime to go and take all of those risks.

[dedee]

thanks freefall that really helped :) the thing with the guy was that she actually met him at the place we went and i felt like 11 years old going on a playdate. i hope when im 18 things will change its hard...
I guess shes afraid of the world. We didnt used to live in the US before and sher thinks that everything is evil.
I also hates that she compares teen from nowdays with the teens of heer youth and thinks she has it all figured out.
Usually people have this kind of problems with dads but mine really is pretty chill my moms the one that cant just uderstand that I need to make my own mistakes

[dontfiguremeout]

My mom does the same thing with me, and I don't see it as a problem. Yeah I always hate the introduction of someone new, but then my mom knows that it's someone safe I can hang out with, and then she knows who I am talking about when I talk to her about my friends, and fun stuff we do (since I really love doing that with my mom!) And for driving, my mom needs to know who is driving so I can make it safe just for safety reasons! Which to me is a good mom because I don't wanna get in a car crash with a reckless driver who is my friend!

[dedee]

Yeah Im not saying my mom is a bad mom. Shes the most wonderful mother in the world but sometimes she just overprotects me I need to make my own mistakes. She doesnt trust anyone and pretends I do the same. As for the driving I get where shes coming from but at least your mom lets you if she knows your friend.. Mine not even then