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View Full Version : I'll never be my best friend's best friend :(


crowdlost
September 2nd, 2012, 03:17 PM
So the title pretty much sums everything I want to say. This is my first post ever by the way, but I created this account now just because I am really depressed and I can't take it anymore.

I've know this guy for more than 3 years, and for the past 3 years we have been best friends. We used to hang out 24/7. We were inseparable.

So what the HELL just happened?!!! It's been 3 months, and I've probably seen him about 6 times during these 3 months. I'm so sick of trying to make him care. I've texted him, called him, went over to his house, done so many things for him and he never initiates talking to me, ever!!

He's been hanging out with another guy, and they've been inseparable these past 3 months. What I hate the most is that they do all the things that WE used to do. It really, really, really kills me when I see them hanging out.

I'm so lonely now, and I feel really mad. Yeah, I'm not even sad anymore that I've lost him as a friend. I'm just freakin' MAD.

A few nights ago, I just couldn't take it anymore so I texted him: "Heyy, what the hell man? Where you been? Why do I feel like you don't wanna hang out anymore?"

The response: "Dude! I really miss you! Just been a lil busy, that's all."

On one hand, I was happy with the text. But on the other hand, "busy"?!

I feel like I put WAY more effort into this friendship than he ever does, and did. I always put him ahead of everyone else in my life and whenever I see a text from him, I swear I don't even know how fast I have to answer!

I am not gay, but I am WAY too attached to this guy. I've been trying to hang out with other people but everyone in my freakin' town is a gossip so they just sit and start talking about my friend and the guy he's hanging out with all the time now. I'm just, like, "People! Shut the fuck up! I don't need another reminder! I get it, they're like brothers! Just shut UUPP!!!!!"

I've decided to post this thread now, even though this has been killing me all summer, because I hadn't seen him in a week and a half...until a few hours ago. I went to a small coffeehouse across town, and found the two of them there. They told me to join them, and it wasn't so bad actually. We talked, the three of us (I really personally have nothing against the 'new' guy...I just HATE that his friendship with my best friend seems to be JUST like mine with him)

I had a good time, hanging out the three of us. But then they looked at each other, and the 'new' guy winked at my friend and apparently that was a sign that he wants to get outta there. I got so fuckin' pissed when they left. You know why? Because this used to be US! I used to be that guy who winks at my best friend, and he immediately gets it and makes up some kind of excuse to leave...leaving whoever we were hanging out with alone while the two of us go hang out someplace else.

Sorry this was long. I just REALLY needed to vent. Wow, somehow, this really helped. Venting. I don't know why, but I feel better. Well, we all know THAT won't last.

Noirtier
September 2nd, 2012, 03:28 PM
Hm... This sounds familiar... Oh yeah, probably because it's happened to me a couple of times :/ Look, dude, I know it sucks. I think you're going to have to get over him though. He's moved on, the reason why, I don't know. People do shit like that, they'll act like everything's great one day and then stab you in the back. Sometimes, you gotta realize what happened, take the knife out of your back, and trudge on. I know it sucks dude. But I think that's for the best... It's not what you wanted to hear, I know. But that's what I think, based on my own life experiences :/

crowdlost
September 2nd, 2012, 03:37 PM
Wow. Yeah, it's not EXACTLY what I want to hear lol, but you're right.

First, thanks for replying! Wow, I didn't think anyone would reply that fast. So glad you did because I still feel like shit over here.

I'm trying to get over him and get over everything. I've made a promise to myself not to talk to him again unless he talks first (which, if the past has taught my anything, proves that it won't be happening)

I'm going crazy!! Gonna go watch some TV, I really need to distract myself. Thanks for the reply :)

Nathan Numberless
September 2nd, 2012, 04:25 PM
He wasn't there for you and you shouldn't be there for him. Don't talk to him again. Find new friends.

DarkNick
September 2nd, 2012, 04:48 PM
I've been where you are mate...
I know exactly the feeling and it f*cking hurts....A LOT!!!
People tend to change and to seek new ''adventures'' or people from time to time...
Let him be for some days.... Perhaps his new friendship will end as fast as it started or maybe he will start to see how good you were as a friend of him...
Don't start a fight or anything like that if he doesn't come back just try to get over it
(making it a bigger issue will make things harder,I know 'cause I've been through it)
It will be hard that's for sure but I really hope that he will come back !

TigerBoy
September 3rd, 2012, 07:01 PM
Ouch. What a selfish arsehat.

Ok one thought I had reading that was - kind of odd he's suddenly with this other guy, but what if new friend is in fact new boyfriend? I had this situation when a really good friend of mine got his first girlfriend. Things chilled and I got back into things ok, 2 or 3 months later she dumped him and after a pretty short time we were good buds again. I'm hoping he's learned his lesson for the next girlfriend but honestly not holding my breath. It hurt, and he wasn't even my best mate, so I really feel for you.

Just a thought, cos that might make you feel its worth giving him a chance in case he's just messed up over it and not sure how to include you in things. Or he could just be really cold.

crowdlost
September 4th, 2012, 04:29 AM
I'm letting him be for a while now. I'm just gonna step back and maybe he'll miss me eventually? I don't know but you guys were right. I don't think starting a fight will make me feel ANY better. Even though I want to start a fight, so bad now. But I'm just gonna do NOTHING.

I'll just have to wait it out :(

oceandude33a
September 4th, 2012, 09:14 PM
yoo kid honestly same thing with me but my friend was way more of a dick

Steve Jobs
September 9th, 2012, 07:12 PM
That's exactly the situation I'm in right now. Uggh, it sucks. It's not too hard to make friends here but closer friends.. hard to explain, it's near impossible. I feel ya dude, and if there was anything I knew that worked, I would explain.

crowdlost
September 10th, 2012, 08:24 AM
Yesss, it really REALLY sucks. I'm still trying to deal.

At this point, all I want is closure. I just wanna know if we'll ever be friends again or not. I want an explanation, or if I did anything wrong! Aaghh, I'm ranting.

This SUCKS.

Devon16
September 10th, 2012, 04:57 PM
I think you are doing the right thing by stepping back and waiting, I know it sucks, but you can't make him like you. I've learned that before. I hope it works out for the good.

crowdlost
September 18th, 2012, 10:29 AM
Hey. Its me again. The guy who started this thread. Just wanted to catch you guys up. Still nothing :(

A few days ago i really sort of started accepting that i dont care abt him anymore and whatever but now...ugh, im so depressed i just feel like venting. How could he not ask about me?! How could he not miss me? Why the heck am i still so attached to him!!!

james wolf
September 18th, 2012, 03:52 PM
I know what you mean, I get good friends but they move on, it always feels like I am not good enough. Just leave him and meet some new people.