Emrys
September 2nd, 2012, 12:48 AM
I hate my life. It's that simple. I was put up for adoption by my mom because she didn't want me. My dad didn't even claim me. My adopted dad, who I loved with all my heart and connected to on phenomenal levels, died less than a month after my tenth birthday. That's not supposed to happen. My adopted mom won't listen to me. It's her way or the highway. She tells me to shut up because she doesn't want to hear it.
I started cutting just after my dad died. I never once was planning on killing myself. It was punishment. When I get yelled at, I slink off to my room and cut. When I get insulted, I cut myself for being that thing. (ugly, fat, a bitch, etc.) If I think of killing myself, it's because I feel that I don't deserve to be alive. I don't deserve anything short of being purely miserable or alone.
Why am I like this? Am I a freak? Should I just kill myself?
I started cutting just after my dad died. I never once was planning on killing myself. It was punishment. When I get yelled at, I slink off to my room and cut. When I get insulted, I cut myself for being that thing. (ugly, fat, a bitch, etc.) If I think of killing myself, it's because I feel that I don't deserve to be alive. I don't deserve anything short of being purely miserable or alone.
Why am I like this? Am I a freak? Should I just kill myself?