Using racist word to friend?

[Marianne199]

I have been brought up to believe that white people should never use the word nigger. Today, I heard it, and felt really uncomfortable, but do other people on VT think it's okay?
At school there are 2 boys, both 15, who are really close friends. One is white, the other black. I don't mean to imply they're gay, but they are always touching one another, and seem quite intimate - like eating an ice-cream from a tub, sharing a spoon.
The black lad had been away to France for a couple of weeks, and when he got back, he came straight into school (registration day) and found his mate, and they hugged and hugged like I've never seen before. I was standing right next to them, and I was shocked to hear the white kid say, 'Hey, little nigger, I have missed you.'
The black kid didn't seem at all bothered being called that word, but surely it's not right to use racist words, even to somebody you love.

[Lost in the Echo]

I agree it's not right. If the Black guy didn't find it offensive then I guess it's okay, especially considering they are really good friends. If they didn't know each other very well It would be different. I think it's only racist if someone uses it for an insult at a black guy.

[lou lou]

I agree with you there are a buntch of ppl at my school who say that and i don't like it I ask them nicely not to say it again but they do it anyway it dives me crazy there at like 3 black kids in my school and everyone will go up to them and say THAT word I hate it I just want to punch their dumb ass mouths im not saying that I'm black but I like to stand up for ppl when thing like that happen I just think thats a bad word and should NEVER be used!!!


And I'm am sorry the anybody who has ever been called THAT word.

[Cicero]

I know people say saying "nigga" and "nigger" are different meanings. But frankly, both are offensive. If they have a black friend who's ok with it, it's "ok", but it's still demeaning and can be seen as offensive. Black people say "nigga" all the time where I live.

[Mortal Coil]

In this case, since the guy didn't mind it, there's really no problem that I can see with it.
May I point out that saying white people can't say a certain word but black people can, is racist in itself?

[FreeFall]

They're really close so he, black guy, has allowed it. If you were to call a stranger that, there'd be problems.

I myself cut-off anyone, and I mean anyone, who dares call me a nigger or any variation. I don't care if it's my best friend, relative, or my cat. That is not something I'll be addressed by.

[Desuetude]

If he doesn't find it offensive, then really there is nothing wrong with it. If it was said quietly and directed at him then it really shouldn't matter.
It's more when it's said in ear range of others, they might get offended. It's not like you can tell this boy to stop using this word because it really should be none of your business. Wow I seem really rude, that wasn't intended but eh, sorry.
heh, this is only my opinion, I don't suppose it matters much xD

[Gigablue]

If the friend was okay with it there's not really a problem. It might not be a good idea to use potentially offensive words in public, since a bystander might find it offensive. I think the intent is what's harmful, not the word itself.

I wouldn't be happy if someone called me a nigger, but if they didn't mean it is a racist way, I wouldn't be particularly offended. If someone meant it in a racist way, I would be much angrier.

[JDubs]

Well, im black and with my black friends, saying nigga and nigger is ofcorse totally fine. I have like, one white friend who its totally cool if she says nigga cuz she might as well be black, and same with a few mexican friends. But when just any white person says it, i try not to mind, as long as they dont call me a nigga, then we'd have a problem. But typical american teens have like, no respect for racism, so in my opinion, they can be excused.

[DerBear]

This comes down to knowing your friends to be honest. I don't like using words like that. However, I don't think it is a problem when two friends say what would normally be considered racist words to each other. They know each others boundaries and therefore they know that it is okay to use that word when talking to them.

It would be completely different if they just went and said to a random guy in the street "Hey whats up niggar", that would totally unacceptable. However because they know each other really well and the other guy is happy to be called that by his friend then I don't see a problem with it.

[dontfiguremeout]

I am never comfortable when I here that word, or just see it used in literature too! But some people are pretty close with others to where they are both comfortable saying those things! My best friend is black, and she always says, "hey my white brotha!", and I always reply saying, "hey my chocolate sister!" We are both really close to where we both can joke around like that, but I would never ever use that word to her!

[AppealToReason]

Honestly, I've never seen the big deal over "offensive" words. I wouldn't call anyone a derogatory word of out common courtesy, but I hate when people blow up over a word especially if they use the word around friends. Like I said, I don't see the problem with nigger or faggot or spic or any other term. Hell, in the sixth grade I had a teacher, a black one mind you, tell me "you are the perfect example of a lazy wetback with no motivation" when I turned down her invitation to join the Honors club we had. From then on, racism has never bothered me.
I do realize that everyone is different, so some will be offended, others won't, and some will just overreact. But, if they are comfortable with the word, I see no reason for you to think anything of it.
Sometimes you just have to realize that words are words. Yes, it can sting to be called a nigger in a negative way, but you have to understand that only ignorant people who say words like that to put others down, so their opinions mean nothing. It's tough to not let the words get to you, but getting butthurt over a word means they win. Reacting means they win. You can't change a racist person's mind, they have to do it on their own, so take their words like a grain of salt, laugh about it, and move the fuck on.
/endsaturdaynightbuzzedrant

[nice]

I think as long as the people are friends and are ok with it it doesn't matter to a certain extent. Like if you got into an argument with one of your friends of the opposite race and the called you a racist term that would just be plan out rude and unacceptable but if it was a normal conversation and they didn't care it wouldn't matter. It all just depends on how close you are as friends and if the other person and you your self are ok with it.

[West Coast Sheriff]

I think that was wrong, white people should not use that word!

[Avenida105]

I don't think its ok, NOT AT ALL. When referring to a person. No racist comment should be made to any individual. Some people still think they live in the colonial period, and think that everyone else in the world is their slave. Using the word nigger is not tolerable in public.

When it comes to a relationship, or a really close friendship I really don't see any problems. With my group of really close friends we call stuff to each other any time, we call one friend a suicide terrorist, this girl an aryan dwarf, and my other friend a white trash red neck, they all call me a mexican gardener (even though I'm not mexican). Although we call each other all of those things, we know that using those words outside our group would be really hurt full and stupid. Whenever we are in public we don't call each other that because it could really offend some people.

Making racist jokes about people is not a funny thing. If you have built trust with a group of extremely close friends, who know you are just kidding its fine, until a point, we never have crossed the line in our comments, or have called any of that stuff to each other when we are mad.

[Stryker125]

I've always believed that words only have as much power as you give them, so the words 'nigga' or 'nigger' have never really affected me. I have friends that say it, but most everyone I've met usually respects me enough not to use it towards me negatively.