Remembering sexual abuse at a young age?

[SmexiLexie510]

Okay so, I was diagnosed with various mental illnesses when I was twelve including Bipolar, ADHD, OCD, ODD, insomnia, paranoia, anger issues, high anxiety levels etc. And have been on medication such as mood stabilizers and sleeping tablets. My dad is also Bipolar. He verbally and emotionally abused me for nine years of my life. My mum watched it happen. Just let it carry on. I have 12 brothers and 2 sisters, all treated brilliantly by him, just not me. I never knew what I did wrong. He was one of the main reasons my first suicide attempt was at only eight years old. I have always been very hyper-sexual and aware way beyond my years, and I was told that this could be down to sexual abuse as a child. I cannot recall anything of the sort ever happening with me. Do you think that young children could be sexually assaulted etc and not realise/remember? I'm not talking specifically about my case, just in general. I have basically no memory of anything before three or four years old. So how much do you think young children, under the age of three for example, would realise, understand, remember, etc. Thank you for any comments or advice. :)

[xXJust Jump ItXx]

Haha we got some in common, I have OCD, PTSD, possibly bipolar, depression, and I dont have meds though haha. But the emotional abuse is a bad thing... My ex step mom was a horrid wench! I wont go into detail but she would flip s*** at me for nothing and this was 13 years and it kept going on but its over... My dad really never know about anything. And sadly... its possible that someone couldnt remember it... If you cant remeber anything before 3 to 4 years of age, dont fret about it. I cant remember anything except images beyond oh man 8th grade... I dont know why. My childhood is a huge blank.

[Nathan Numberless]

Yes it is possible... but don't count on it. There's always other possibilities. Maybe your dad sees the most potential in you, Sees that of all the children you'll be the most susessful so he tries too hard to discipline you. Maybe he had terrible experiences with his own parents... And doesn't know how to deal with you. I honestly don't know why parents do this; treat one child like s*** and treat the others like gold. I deal with the same problem. I don't have to attend my parent's funerals though.
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[Mortal Coil]

It is a sad fact of life that parents play favorites, or in your case, least-favorites. I'm not saying that you aren't treated unfairly, but maybe because the things they do to you are personally hurting you, you see them as more severe than the way your parents treat your siblings. As for the sexual thing, you couldn't consciously remember anything before 3-4 years of age because your hippocampus (bit that stores long-term memory) doesn't develop until that age. However, childhood sexual abuse could definitely manifest itself in other ways like those that you described.
Remember though, it's only one of many possibilities. Maybe you just had your eyes open a little wider than others, so to speak. It happens often in kids who are disillusioned thanks to emotional abuse.