Coming out to parents

[Green Arrow]

Hiya you might have seen my previous thread a couple of months ago about me coming out to my friend on Facebook. Sadily after that convosation that person has decided not to talk to me, his loss I suppose. I plucked up the courage to tell my closest friend a week or so ago, again on facebook. He was cool with it and has been suporting me through this week and trying to get me out of the closet which I do want to do. I really want to come out to my parents this week however I don't know how to do it, all of my coming outs have been online and I don't really know how to start it. If you've gone through this before what did you do? I am really in a dilemma here.

[Desuetude]

Maybe if you find it easier coming out to people without having to talk to them face to face you could write your parents a letter and leave it somewhere they might find it and have them approach you instead. That's probably one of the more indirect ways.

[Green Arrow]

Hmmm I might do that, I'm not sure.

[Cameron14]

Haven't done it but good luck. Don't force yourself into a timeframe, only proceed when you feel really comfortable. Maybe divide and conquer?

[SamB]

When I told my parent I wrote them a letter explaining everything and left it on their bed before I went to bed one night and let them find it, if you don't know how you would go about starting the conversation I think this will probably be the easiest way to do it.

[kdon]

Wrtie it on a piece of paper and practice wat you are going to say to them and then do it wen u are ready and don't force things cuz it might not go to plan if u do

[OregonStateDude]

I've practiced coming out to my mom a gazillion times over and over in my head, so when the time is right, I will be prepared. And I know this is something I need to do face to face; there's just no way I can tell her in a letter or a text.

I think telling a parent is a lot harder than telling a friend; slow and steady is the best approach. :)

[ImCoolBeans]

I wrote this thread (click me) (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=134627) all about coming out. It has some helpful tips and things to keep in mind; but better yet it's filled with personal accounts and stories people have shared about coming out and how exactly they went about doing it. I made that thread just as I first started coming out. Reading peoples' stories and how they did it helped me quite a bit and helped me to realize that I can do it - after all, all of them did it.

Congratulations on coming out to your friend - and I'm glad he's so supportive of you. A friend from work found out accidentally, my fault, and she has actually turned out to be my biggest support and has encouraged me so much. I really can't thank her enough for helping me to come out to my dad. Coming out to my mom was really nerve racking but I knew that it would not be an issue. My dad on the other hand is very old fashioned and skeptical of the idea. I told him and so far he's been supportive and I haven't really had an issue with it. I told them at different times (they're separated) and I did it just by saying that I needed to talk to them about something important, when they said "what?" or "Okay.." I just said it. It's pretty scary - I can't deny that - but in my experience that is the easier way to go about it.

Good luck! I hope all goes well if you decide to tell them, or whenever you do decide to come out to them.

[LiamC]

I just said to my mum that I needed to tell her something (on Facebook, I don't live with her) and worked it in, it was SO nerve wracking and I sat there shaking but she was fine with it. I told a close friend first like you though. Still haven't told my foster parents but I don't really care because I don't feel I need or want to tell them.

[Green Arrow]

Thanks everyone. :) Hmmm I might write a letter then take a walk, but I dunno. Any more stories?

[RCT109]

I still haven come out yet to my mom and I don't think I ever will

[Abyssal Echo]

to start with I figured it was better for my mom to find out that I am gay from me rather than a friend or neighbor. we were painting my room just talking about shit in general and when I felt the time was right I just kinda slipped it into the coversation. :)

[Inventor2]

I think you should come out to your parents when you are comfortable doing it. If u are really this nervous, wait a month or so and then do it. Just be comfortable

[Green Arrow]

I think I might just talk to my parents it seems like the best option so there isn't that awkward bit when I don't know what they think about it. :S