Close to a breakdown.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

I can feel it. There's one coming. My urges are bad enough now. I... My wrist/thighs ache and hurt, the urges are that bad. I want to give in, I really do, but I'm too scared to. I don't want to loose control, but I need to the control it gives me.

I want to bleed until I die.

Quite scary when you come to that conclusion.

Feeling so low, I can't. Work is going to be hard work again. Not in the mood to face people and pretend everything is okay.

[Noxail]

Hey, sweetheart, keep your chin up. I understand the urges, I've been there, done that. Try to find something to distract yourself, writing, singing, reading, talking, find something to occupy yourself. Just don't give in. Remember, you're stronger than the urges, the cutting, everything. Don't give up. You Are Stronger. ~holli

[LoveMe_HateMe]

Distracting myself doesn't work, I've tried reading, writing, drawing, tv, music, gym, work. I've tried the alternatives to cutting like ice, elastic band, etc. Just about everything I can think of to distract and/or get rid of the urges. It doesn't work. Not for me anyway.

I'm not that strong, I act like I am but it's all just a mask.

[LoveMe_HateMe]

I'm close too. I just want to lock myself and cry. I enjoy bleeding, that isn't a good thing.

That's the problem that I deal with the most... I enjoy bleeding. A little too much sometimes :(