I need to tell someone

[dmaready]

I want to get this off my chest. And see what other people think. Ok here goes. I'm the nice guy. I'll be turning 17 in a week and I've never had a girlfriend. There is only one girl that I like enough to ask out. We are best friends and I love spending time with her. The only thing that erks me is that I'm the friend that she tells who she likes and what guys she thinks are "hot". Well one night, before leaving her house (I often visit and we talk/browse the internet together) she asked if she could tell me a secret. So naturally I said sure. I would keep anything she told me secret. (Of course you all do not know what my name is or what her name is so this does not count) She had dated this guy a while back and he now lived in a different state. He came down to visit that week and they where hanging out a lot. I was sorta jealous. Well she told me, "I had sex on this bed" Implying the bed we were sitting on. (Her bed takes up most of her room) I just said Oh. And said I had to go an went out the door. On the way home by bike I was depressed. Am I wrong for being so. It's not like she is "my girl" or I wanted to be her first or anything. I just felt bad. That night I couldn't sleep. And around 2 in the morning I sent her a Myspace message telling her how I didn't need to know that and that I liked her all along. Basically confessing everything to her. (I think she knew I liked her) When I awoke the next morning I had a text on my phone saying "I'm so sorry". I checked my Myspace immediately and found her reply. She said that she only sees me as a friend and that's all I will ever be. She offered to not mention which guys she thinks is cute around me anymore. I don't know what to think. She is the only girl in my school that I like, and I will never be able to be with her. Well from my perspective I sound stupid, and selfish. I need someone else's opinion. So if you took the time to read my story thank you. Tell me what you think or any advise.

[Serenity]

You don't sound stupid at all- it's completely understandable. Most of us know what it's like to be so close to someone you want to be with so badly, but have to watch them go around with other people you know won't treat them as well as you could.

I think your best bet would to stay friends with her if you can. I know she'll appreciate your friendship in the long run, and I'm willing to bet you'd rather have a friendship with her, than nothing at all. If that's not the case and it really tears you apart being near her, maybe you should just tell her you need to spend some time away from her. I know from experience how unhealthy it is to try and force a relationship to work that you know isn't going to. So you have to judge- can you remain her friend and be there for her when she needs you? Or do you need to move on?

[dmaready]

Thanks for the advice. I pretty much came to that decision by myself. But it's really hard to choose. I enjoy every moment with her, but when my thoughts drift to the fact that I will never be with her..... IDK. It's a hard decision but I've got to stay her friend. I think I love her, but then again I'm still not sure what exactly love feels like. Thank you EmotionalMeltdown09. I just need to hear what someone else thought.

[dmaready]

This was my original message to her:
ok.. ive got to get this off my chest or im going to go crazy the only reason im doing this over myspace is because if i attempted to tell you this in person i would not be able to get it out hell i can barely type it from shaking so bad youve most likely known this for some time but the truth i like you there i said it ive liked you since i meet you but these past couple of weeks i just cant keep you off my mind you know when i said i keep all my emotions bottled up inside well the bottle just broke ive never been depressed before but now i am tell you the truth it feels kinda weird ive never asked you out because i knew you would say no and i am afraid that that would have ruined our friendship another reason is that my self esteem isnt that high and i really dont think that i deserve a girl like you god idk where im going with this i just needed to get all this off my chest and i cant help but feel a little jealous of your every bf i dont know what to think ... im just typing thoughts as they come up i think it was the whole sex thing that pushed me over the edge i really wish you would not have told me that ... now i cant stop thinking about it well its been about an hour since ive started this msg now im arguing with myself to send it or not i dont want it to be awkward between us but like i said before i had to get this off my chest it was eating me alive anyway im going to keep out of contact with you till i get a reply ..... just uhhh let me know what you think i guess

(Sorry for the terrible grammar. I had tears in my eyes and I was kinda flustered.)

Her Reply:
Aw Danny I'm so sorry, I really shouldnt have told you that. I actually really didnt know. I'm sorry but I like you to much as a friend to be anything more. And its not going to be akward unless you make it that way. I'm sorry this has made you depressed, your my best friend and I dont want to see or hear you that way. I'll just stop talking about Erik too. I'm so sorry Danny


Thought that might give you guys a better idea.

[Crazysam]

I want to get this off my chest. And see what other people think. Ok here goes. I'm the nice guy. I'll be turning 17 in a week and I've never had a girlfriend. There is only one girl that I like enough to ask out. We are best friends and I love spending time with her. The only thing that erks me is that I'm the friend that she tells who she likes and what guys she thinks are "hot". Well one night, before leaving her house (I often visit and we talk/browse the internet together) she asked if she could tell me a secret. So naturally I said sure. I would keep anything she told me secret. (Of course you all do not know what my name is or what her name is so this does not count) She had dated this guy a while back and he now lived in a different state. He came down to visit that week and they where hanging out a lot. I was sorta jealous. Well she told me, "I had sex on this bed" Implying the bed we were sitting on. (Her bed takes up most of her room) I just said Oh. And said I had to go an went out the door. On the way home by bike I was depressed. Am I wrong for being so. It's not like she is "my girl" or I wanted to be her first or anything. I just felt bad. That night I couldn't sleep. And around 2 in the morning I sent her a Myspace message telling her how I didn't need to know that and that I liked her all along. Basically confessing everything to her. (I think she knew I liked her) When I awoke the next morning I had a text on my phone saying "I'm so sorry". I checked my Myspace immediately and found her reply. She said that she only sees me as a friend and that's all I will ever be. She offered to not mention which guys she thinks is cute around me anymore. I don't know what to think. She is the only girl in my school that I like, and I will never be able to be with her. Well from my perspective I sound stupid, and selfish. I need someone else's opinion. So if you took the time to read my story thank you. Tell me what you think or any advise.

Ok first of all calm down and don't worry by the way you have written so many words and gone into so much detail I can see this is a big issue for you.

First off, there is nothing wrong with the fact that you went out of the house as she scared you off by practically coming on to you. She should have known that you area virgin and she should bee sensitive around such subjects. The fact you fancy her makes no difference in this.

It was good of you to email her to tell her how you feel its good she knows now. For all you know she might feel the same about you? :D

What i would do is ask her out (not as a date) but to get a cup of coffee in a cafe some time next week and just talk about what you have said and hopefully you can decide both in a sensible fashion what you will do.
If you still need more help just give me a buzz :yes:

[george]

This was my original message to her:
ok.. ive got to get this off my chest or im going to go crazy the only reason im doing this over myspace is because if i attempted to tell you this in person i would not be able to get it out hell i can barely type it from shaking so bad youve most likely known this for some time but the truth i like you there i said it ive liked you since i meet you but these past couple of weeks i just cant keep you off my mind you know when i said i keep all my emotions bottled up inside well the bottle just broke ive never been depressed before but now i am tell you the truth it feels kinda weird ive never asked you out because i knew you would say no and i am afraid that that would have ruined our friendship another reason is that my self esteem isnt that high and i really dont think that i deserve a girl like you god idk where im going with this i just needed to get all this off my chest and i cant help but feel a little jealous of your every bf i dont know what to think ... im just typing thoughts as they come up i think it was the whole sex thing that pushed me over the edge i really wish you would not have told me that ... now i cant stop thinking about it well its been about an hour since ive started this msg now im arguing with myself to send it or not i dont want it to be awkward between us but like i said before i had to get this off my chest it was eating me alive anyway im going to keep out of contact with you till i get a reply ..... just uhhh let me know what you think i guess

(Sorry for the terrible grammar. I had tears in my eyes and I was kinda flustered.)

Her Reply:
Aw Danny I'm so sorry, I really shouldnt have told you that. I actually really didnt know. I'm sorry but I like you to much as a friend to be anything more. And its not going to be akward unless you make it that way. I'm sorry this has made you depressed, your my best friend and I dont want to see or hear you that way. I'll just stop talking about Erik too. I'm so sorry Danny


Thought that might give you guys a better idea.
I had the same suitation too :( i know how it feels but what i did was just stay friends with her. Get to know her better and see where that takes you :) im still friends with the girl that i really liked tho she doesnt know that.(i have a girlfriend right now)

[MoveAlong]

You don't sound stupid at all- it's completely understandable. Most of us know what it's like to be so close to someone you want to be with so badly, but have to watch them go around with other people you know won't treat them as well as you could.

I think your best bet would to stay friends with her if you can. I know she'll appreciate your friendship in the long run, and I'm willing to bet you'd rather have a friendship with her, than nothing at all. If that's not the case and it really tears you apart being near her, maybe you should just tell her you need to spend some time away from her. I know from experience how unhealthy it is to try and force a relationship to work that you know isn't going to. So you have to judge- can you remain her friend and be there for her when she needs you? Or do you need to move on?

Very good Val! I completely agree with this. I would feel bad too, because it does sorta feel like you're betrayed, because you had these plans and now she just decided put a stop to those. I would feel sorta empty too. But remember that it's nothing to get incredibly depressed about...you have your whole life to find somebody new, and things like this happen in relationships. It's all just natural, so don't worry about it man :D