when to come out of the closet?

[techno4evr]

hello everyone my name is Brad and i am 17 and going into 11th grade this year :). I am bisexual and for the longest time i have been questioning whether i should come out of the closet to my school or if it isnt the right time. i go to a school in western pennsylvania surrounded by cornfields and the sweet smell of cowpoop greets you every morning :P, and needless to say the minds of my classmates are just as closed in as the fields. i first came out to my mother which was very hard but luckily she said that she loved me no matter what but she wished i wasnt Bi because she would hate to see me live a hard life because of it. i feel in my heart that im strong enough to do this but there are alot of issues with gay bullying in my school and even i have gone through alot of it when im not out of the closet yet. so for those of you who have come out of the closet, what was your experiences like?

[Harley Quinn]

In school I had mixed reactions but after a few years everyone got used to the idea I was a lesbian (I go to an all girls school). I mean, people are closed minded but after awhile they tend to move past it and accept it. It will be hard at first, it always is and there is no saying that you actually have to tell anyone. But if you personally think you have to, I don't see why you shouldn't. Just be prepared for the worst that way you can't be upset or whatever. I didn't actually come out, I was outed and its always better if you tell them personally without being outed so, good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[techno4evr]

In school I had mixed reactions but after a few years everyone got used to the idea I was a lesbian (I go to an all girls school). I mean, people are closed minded but after awhile they tend to move past it and accept it. It will be hard at first, it always is and there is no saying that you actually have to tell anyone. But if you personally think you have to, I don't see why you shouldn't. Just be prepared for the worst that way you can't be upset or whatever. I didn't actually come out, I was outed and its always better if you tell them personally without being outed so, good luck with whatever you decide to do.

thank you for your advice :) ,theres a part of me that says i need to and another part that says its better if you dont so, so i guess ill see what part of me decides to take hold over time :P . when you say you were outed do you mean people knew already and judged you as such without actually telling them?

[Harley Quinn]

I mean that I told someone and they told everyone else, but I suppose it's the same principle because I didn't actually tell anyone else myself. It was more people knowing because of someone else, you don't feel like you've actually told people more forced to accept it. I wasn't actually ready to come out but that forced me out. However, I have been told they already knew and didn't need me to confirm it.

Only come out if it feels right otherwise there isn't really a point, you're just saying for the sake of it. You've got plenty of time to come out you don't need to rush it sort of thing, just go with the flow.

[techno4evr]

oh wow that sounds like it would have been a very hard experience and i hope that things were not hard for you in school after that. i suppose your right that you should just go with the flow of things and remember theres plenty enough time to come out to people :) i figure if anything i can come out the last day of school and it wont matter what people think because im out of there :cool:

[OregonStateDude]

I told my best friend last year, and he doesn't treat me any different. But he's a very open minded guy. I'm not coming out in school until I know for sure that I can handle any hate that comes my way. And I don't think I'm really ready for a BF yet until I'm a sophomore, so what's the rush?

[AndCuriousGuy16]

I came out last night for the first time to a girl i know and she promised that she wouldnt tell anybody. I think it just takes time and sooner or later people will find out. If i was in your situation, (don't mean to put you down) but i would wait just because the area you live in is a close minded place. If you go off to college, i would start a new life. People at college will probably be more excepting just because it is college, (haha). Just hang in there and if you need to talk to somebody send me a PM! Good luck my friend!

[techno4evr]

Thanks guys for your advice i especially agree that i think when i get into college i will be able to become the true me, away from the peer pressure and cliques of high school and into a world of open mindedness :)

[techno4evr]

And congratulations by the way Andcuriousguy16 on coming out im sure that was a very hard thing to do, i mean coming out to family was hard enough for me so i couldnt even imagine coming out to one of my friends! im glad she was accepting of you and i hope the best for you on future coming out experiences :)

[HunterSteele]

i go to a school in western pennsylvania surrounded by cornfields and the sweet smell of cowpoop greets you every morning :P, and needless to say the minds of my classmates are just as closed in as the fields.
It's great to throw in a simile, but if they're open fields wouldn't that mean the minds of your classmates are open? :confused: I mean unless these fields are in those huge domes like in those books you read set in the future.

http://www.freewebs.com/icemakers/bio%20dome.bmp

I've never understood the point of coming out to a school. Who cares? If you tell your mom it makes sense for her to know because she's your mom. If you tell a close friend that's nice too. But why tell the whole school?

When I realized I was gay last year I decided I wouldn't try to hide it, but I wouldn't go around telling everyone either. I would just tell the truth to anyone who asked. So far only one person has asked, and they took it well.

[techno4evr]

It's great to throw in a simile, but if they're open fields wouldn't that mean the minds of your classmates are open? :confused: I mean unless these fields are in those huge domes like in those books you read set in the future.

image (http://www.freewebs.com/icemakers/bio%20dome.bmp)

I've never understood the point of coming out to a school. Who cares? If you tell your mom it makes sense for her to know because she's your mom. If you tell a close friend that's nice too. But why tell the whole school?

When I realized I was gay last year I decided I wouldn't try to hide it, but I wouldn't go around telling everyone either. I would just tell the truth to anyone who asked. So far only one person has asked, and they took it well.

I love how you took notice of my simile i appreciate that :D, what i was referring to is how if youve ever been in a cornfield it reaches above your head and closes you in surrounding you completely. i suppose your right that theres no point in telling a whole school since your few true friends are the ones that matter the most :)

[green white]

The first I came out to my best friend. and he said "it's okay and I still love you"
Hmmm... I'm very luck

[iamintenn]

Not yet.

[centropede]

But why do you need to come out to whole school? If you really want to do it, do it for your class, not whole school.
And just act like you normaly would. If they will think that you are bi, then they will, if they wont then not. It doesnt change anything to you.

[Bull]

I am assuming that since you identify yourself as bisexual you have or have had a sex partner? If he too is in the closet would you put him in jeopardy of being outed? Living where you do, and have already experience some bullying what positive outcome would there be? What motivates you to come out in that environment? Just some things to think about. Me, I am straight with a lot of bi-curious feelings. I am in the very back of my closet and never, ever plan to leave it. Good luck and best wishes as you struggle with this issue.

[CassnovA]

This is a two year old topic. I think hes out by now..

[centropede]

This is a two year old topic. I think hes out by now..

xD Sh*t happens when someone bumps :D