Bothered by History of Girls ?

[ItalianRacer]

Kind of long, so my bad.

Anyway, so I have never really been with a girl too intensely, but recently, I am starting to get more in shape and turn life around for the better so I hope soon that will change. But that is whatever.

Main issue I have is for some reason I have a mental block which prohibits me from even getting interested in a girl. The fact she is not a virgin bothers me and not exactly sure why, because realistically 99% of girls are not, so unless I want the 1%, I have to learn to live with it no ? Yes. But it preoccupies me...like always.

And I also, when I see a girl that is attractive or whatever, fixate on her. Not stalking or anything crazy, just a fantasy but it lasts maybe a week or two then I forgot. I guess I rue missed chances ? Boh. Not sure.

Like I know that it is none of my business of a girl's history but it still bothers me even though I know nothing of the circumstance. But thing is, I only really care if I really like the girl and want a relationship. Like if a girl is, excuse my French, a slut who is only out every night looking for action and nothing else, I will not be concerned much because I know nothing will materialize from any encounter with her.

Is that even normal ? Any advice for getting over it because I have to hurdle it to live life. I know that.

Grazie.

[Harley Quinn]

I know that I personally don't like girls that are out there fucking everything that moves, but if she's not a virgin I'm not going to judge her for it. There's a difference between fucking everything that moves, and fucking the same person. If she was in the relationship with someone and that occurred, it wouldn't bother me. It's okay to fantasies about the person, but don't do it to extremes because it can get a little creepy, that and if you were to ever get with someone, you probably wouldn't find much to do with them because you've already thought it out too much. I don't think it's something you can get other, rather something you need to learn how to control.

[FreeFall]

Not many people go after sluts and players unless that's what they're looking for.
But if she just got out of a 5 year relationship and doesn't happen to be a virgin, why should she be judged for that? she's obviously capable of being committed in long term relationships. Unless that was not the case, then of course I stand corrected.
Agreed with Kryptonite too.

[Alliegator]

I don't think there's anything wrong with not being a virgin. I think what you're describing is pretty okay except for the fantasies, as long as they aren't like violent or weird then i think it's okay. Good luck with finding the girl for you.

[ItalianRacer]

Bah, thanks for the respnses.

Uh to answer everyone all at once.

Fantasy was maybe a bad word; more like, I rue the missed chance of not pursuing the girl at that time and knowing I will never see her again. It is a girl I see like once walking outside. Oh and I just rue the missed chance the most really, never really fantasize in terms of getting off to it or imagining a relationship. Nothing weird.

Thing is, I am not very confident and as I said, I am progressively getting more fit, etc. so I just think that maybe the fact I am not confident enough to talk to them is what gets me. If I were better, I would no doubt. But I guess that will change.

I guess I should post seperate, but this one girl I know who I really like went out with a guy from my highschool who honestly is a failure at everything. Drug-addict; very, very heavy one at that, treated her poorly, cheated on her, etc.

I just got rattled that he of all people got with her I guess. I know for a fact he had known her since they were 12-13, so I guess she was with him pre-drug phase, etc. I know this because obviously people talk, but I really know that much beyond that.

But yeah, that goes beyond the topic here. Realistically, I guess I have to live with it. I know there is nothing wrong with not being a virgin, but I guess the fact I was not the first is kind of rattling. But oh well.

[Sleepy Raisin]

Kind of long, so my bad.

Main issue I have is for some reason I have a mental block which prohibits me from even getting interested in a girl. The fact she is not a virgin bothers me and not exactly sure why, because realistically 99% of girls are not, so unless I want the 1%, I have to learn to live with it no ? Yes. But it preoccupies me...like always.

Grazie.

99%?!? where do you go to school??? Lol thats sooo not true at least not where i go..
But i dont blame you for letting that bother you, it probably would bother me too