Sad to an undesirable extent

[Jagster]

Lately I have felt down and out on my life. I feel like I have just lost inspiration to doing more and more productive things with my life. I have been wanting a boyfriend for quite some time now, and I just can't get off the fence about waiting until school starts or just go with long distance. The only problem with that is that there is very little chance for me to actually find a boyfriend at my school because hardly anybody has come out of the closet, so it just sucks. And I honestly wouldn't want to have a long distance relationship either because I would still miss the physical contact (and please don't say "Distance makes the heart grow fonder"... Of course I know that, it just sends me in to a deeper depression).

Second note, I am hating the fact that I am so close to getting a job, but can't have one yet. I honestly don't get why being 16 has to be the minimum, because I think some teenagers have self control and the government has just gone all worst-case scenario when the rule was made. The worse thing is that the very little amount of places that do hire 15 year olds is that they are just out of a reasonable commuting distance for me. The shopping center outside the base is a fine commute for me, and walking down the road outside of the nearest gate to me isn't that bad either. My point is, I have an adult state of mind and believe that I need to be working to be a productive member of society, and my brain just doesn't want me to enjoy my childhood like I should. I completely want a well paying job because I volunteered to help pay my phone's data plan... And on top of that, I'm trying to save for college as well.

I've just gotten in to way too much shit.

[Sonic Boom]

With regard to your first problem: you'll survive. You just have to be patient, because most people are not ready to come out at that stage. It will get a lot easier once you get to college I promise!

Again, in terms of your second problem, please be patient. I really admire the fact that you are eager to take on a lot of responsibility that shouldn't really be your responsibility at this point. It's a rare and wonderful attitude to have. No one can expect you to get a job at 15 though (unless you live in Bangladesh or China).

So why not start some kind of small business at school? It might not exactly pay for college, but it could pay your phone data. Just ponder for an idea and go for it!

I wish you the best of luck!

[root]

If you loose inspiration then just gain inspiration again. It's pretty easy. Go on google images and type, "awesome graphics", "graphics effect", "posters". That gave me inspiration to get into making graphics with photoshop.

Go to deviantart and look around at people's work. Always gives me inspiration.

Watch an inspiring movie; "I am Sam", "Remember the Titans", "Moneyball", "The blind side"...

I dunno what's it like being gay, sorry.

I would think I have a pretty mature mind, (most people here probably disagree). As for saving for college, try studying for PSAT, SAT2s, ACT, SAT and all that lovely crap. If you work hard, it will pay off. You're job as a student is to learn. Loose a little money now but earn a lot when you get a job after college.

I dunno why you volunteer for your dad, it's not really your responsibility.

And yeah, I use to think I had too much shit going on but in reality, if you look at it, it's not that bad. It could be worst. At least you're not a kid in Cambodia begging tourists for money and food. (I went there in late July)

[kaylaleeds]

just hold on. didn't they say that the night seems darkest just before the dawn? believe me, i've also been through all that. but if it helps, you might wanna read www.uncannymindpower.com. it helped me through some of the darkest periods of my life, and maybe it will help you too.