Paige1989
August 17th, 2007, 05:30 PM
Today, I was online and a good friend of mine told me she got her provisional driver's license...usually, I'd be happy for her, but this is the fourth or fifth friend of mine to get their license before me and they're all younger than me - I'm two-and-a-half months from eighteen. So instead of being happy, I completely lost it. It was a good thing I was on the computer and could mask it, but I was crying, thinking of self-harm, etc. Finally, I calmed down enough to call another friend and that helped a bit, then I called someone else who had experience with self-harm herself, and that helped as well...but what helped the most was going to Books-a-Million (local book store) and buying two fictional books on psychiatric subjects - one on suicidal people in a hospital and the other on someone who sold psychiatric drugs on the street. Strangely, this made me feel much better. :confused: I'm not sure how normal that is, but now I'm calm and collected...I mean, books generally calm me down, but books of that nature?? Especially in the mood I already was in...Not sure about this at all. I think my breakdown was caused by a culmulation of things - start of school coming up, the license thing, and a couple other small reasons and they all built up until I couldn't handle it...
~~Paige
~~Paige