♥Shyness♥

[ColourMeScarred13]

You know when people tell you that you'll grow out of shyness, you'll get our of that awkward stage? Well for me as I've got older I've become more shy and it's held me back a lot. I find it really hard to talk to my friends and have like a major panic attack if someone asks me a question. People often tease me so I'm self conscious about everything and I just don't like not being able to talk to people especially my friends. They will be nice to me but most of the time if their doing something I won't be included because they think just because I'm shy, I can't do anything and that I'm pathetic. I have a really quiet voice and people are always saying oh you need to speak up, blah blah blah and it's hard for me because I lack self-esteem. I feel so bad and loads of things I want to say I just can't so I keep everything bottled up and let it out on myself. Does anyone have any advice for overcoming shyness? Thank you I really appreciate any comments :wub: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[workingatperfect]

I've had this exact problem for a while, and I'm just starting to overcome it. The main thing you need to do is just stop caring about how people perceive you. Trust me, I know how hard that can be, but you just have to accept that not everyone is going to like you or agree with what you say and all that, but that if you put yourself out there a little more, you WILL find people who do like you and want to be your friend. I'm slowly getting over my self esteem issues because I realized that it's not worth it to care about whether or not people will like me, because there's always going to be someone who does, but how am I going to get to know them if I don't open up and be more outgoing?
I know it's easier said than done, but, I hope this helped somewhat :) Good luck

[Sonic Boom]

The only things I see as pathetic here are the people who make fun of you.

Now, I suffered from really bad shyness as well, and it's something that can years to overcome. You can't fix it overnight.

However, learning to play an instrument worked wonders for me. Getting forced onto the stage to perform was really scary the first few times, but it forced me out of my shell. After a while, I even begun to enjoy it! Then....I smiled my first real smile at school.

So don't worry, the shyness will dissolve little by little with each effort :)

[ColourMeScarred13]

Thank you for commenting with the advice both of you, and I will take that on board! :) No really I mean it most people if you say oh I'm shy they'll just say you've got to be louder which doesn't help. This advice however has helped a lot and at the moment I'm on holiday so will try all of this out! The thing I really find hard is accepting myself and I'm always afraid to be different, I'm not saying I like go around in all the fashionable labels because to be quite honest I don't like Hollister or whatever just to fit in but is it a bad thing to be different? Once again thank you so both to both of you, I seriously appreciate it! Good luck and well done for overcoming that too :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[root]

For me, I'm just really not a shy person.

I think you have to get the idea that you're gonna say whatever you say and people can take it or leave it. And, not care whether they judge you or not on what you say because really, it doesn't matter what they think. They can think whatever the hell they want but it's not gonna affect you because you don't give a shit.

So maybe you should try not caring what people think of you.

[ColourMeScarred13]

Thank you for the advice! :) xxxx

[Aidan]

You know when people tell you that you'll grow out of shyness, you'll get our of that awkward stage? Well for me as I've got older I've become more shy and it's held me back a lot. I find it really hard to talk to my friends and have like a major panic attack if someone asks me a question. People often tease me so I'm self conscious about everything and I just don't like not being able to talk to people especially my friends. They will be nice to me but most of the time if their doing something I won't be included because they think just because I'm shy, I can't do anything and that I'm pathetic. I have a really quiet voice and people are always saying oh you need to speak up, blah blah blah and it's hard for me because I lack self-esteem. I feel so bad and loads of things I want to say I just can't so I keep everything bottled up and let it out on myself. Does anyone have any advice for overcoming shyness? Thank you I really appreciate any comments :wub: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



I am shy and thats cos I live in care and have only known foster care - I am getting help now with getting me whole so to speak.

I can only share this and I know its for everybody - but I have some close friends and I was encouraged to tell them a bit and not ask for help but ask them to kinda buddy me along a bit.

I got to organise a few activity things with them joinig in, that really helped me.

One thing if you can try and get something to do or involved with - then share it with your freinds - I started a garden project - then got some guys involved sso its like my thing - then we go and share out the friut and veg we grow and we have a green house and donate plants around our community - but that suited me - could be there is something you can try. I dont mean to be sexist no way but what about a cake or cookie bake and donate - you start it and get a freind or two involved.

Hoe this helps and well youve taken the first steps heer on vT to overcomeing shyness.


have a hug and some rep

[ColourMeScarred13]

Thank you so much for sharing this with me, it's really thoughtful of you and yeah I think I could find something to do like that. Good luck to you as well! xxxxxxxxxx :)

[Cicero]

in order not to be shy, you must step out of your comfort level. Im very shy. ive been told the same thing that youll grow out of it, yet, i havent. They actually have a name for what i am (where i hate speaking in public, and im shy and i hate attention) and its some social disorder or whatever. idk for sure lol, seems to me i have a lot of disorders (ocd, mild depression, apparently a social disorder, anxiety disorder, and body dismorphic disorder) lol that is a lot when typed :P


But overall, try to slowly get out of your comfort zone. if you never really talk to any one, start off by asking 'how are you' or even just a 'hey. something that lady gaga said, is every morning, right when you wake up, meditate on what is good about you, so pick three things that is good about you, and just meditate upon that. also, write a list of the positive things about you, and put them on your mirror, that should help self esteem (from what ive read, ive never tried it, but i have horrible self esteem)

[ColourMeScarred13]

Thank you once again for the advice! I don't think I have that disorder but at times I think I'm the only one like this. Like everyone else can just pass by fine in life and I'm stuck here worrying the whole time. I now know there are others in the same position, and even that helps in itself. Thank you, I'll try this and same I have such low self esteem which is lowered if someone says something about me. Like I take a great blow and never seem to recover from it, I don't react so I guess people think it's okay. But thank you, really it has helped and I'm so grateful that people here listen to youxxxxxx <3

[BaiIey]

I am shy in a different way than you are, I talk a lot but am afraid of people judging me. I have tried to jus push my self to ignore it, and it has helped a little. Not a lot, but it has helped.

[ColourMeScarred13]

I feel exactly the same way about people judging me....I get so bad sometimes I'm afraid of people watching me eat. Good luck and hope you're okay! Thank you so much for the advice! Okay here's a little bit of an update...thank you to all the amazing people on here, today I managed to just about do my French speaking assessment in front of about 30 people. I admit I obviously was totally freaking out, totally. I didn't look at any of them and virtually nobody could hear me but before I would have practically fainted walking up there. Thank you so much, you have no idea how much I appreciate it :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <3