my friend,

[lilmandrewl]

has cuts on her legs and shes nervous about PE because they have to dress in shorts and she has all these scars....

shes really upset and i dont want her to cut anymore, so then how do i help her get past this?

[electric7rocker]

well if i were you... id try to think of witty things to cover them up with, like knee high socks or sweat pants (although shes probably already thought of those, but thinks people will get suspicious...) and just make her feel like everything might not be as bad as it seems... and just talk to her about it and stuff. i dont know how long it will take her to get through this... maybe a month, maybe a year, maybe never. shes probably so terrified about getting caught that shes been thinking about it non stop, and she might have even thrown up cuz she was so worried.


but hey... thats just what i think.

[Crazysam]

First of all I have a "friend" called Abigial who always cuts and I used to help her until she had made me take her to hospital too many times!

But i can see you would like to help your friend so I would suggest attempting to cover them up You could use 3/4 length shorts so that they would cover most of her legs. Or couldn't she get her parents to write a note to the teacher to explain the situation and see if she would be allowed to where trousers during her PE lesson I'm sure the teacher would understand. If her parents don't know that she cuts than go straight up to them and tell them! or give them a call what-ever you have to tell them ok?

[electric7rocker]

dont tell her parents. or anyone for that matter. if she trusts you then you need to respect that.

[Crazysam]

NO YOU DON'T YOU HAVE TO TELL HER PARENTS! thats exactly what happened with my friend abigail and she just got worse. By telling her parents you are helping her! She needs help before she starts getting worse!

and please please don't listen to people like 'electric7rocker' who have 2 posts and absolutely no idea they are on about!

[Serenity]

NO YOU DON'T YOU HAVE TO TELL HER PARENTS! thats exactly what happened with my friend abigail and she just got worse. By telling her parents you are helping her! She needs help before she starts getting worse!

and please please don't listen to people like 'electric7rocker' who have 2 posts and absolutely no idea they are on about!

I agree with you, Sam, but that's being a bit unfair. You can't judge a person by how many posts they have.

[electric7rocker]

dont tell her parents. if they have to know, she should be the one to tell them.

[electric7rocker]

and sam, i do have some idea what im talking about. i myself am a cutter... although im trying really hard to quit (its been about 2 1/2 months or so?) because i almost lost a friend because of it. and ive been to therapy for a number of things, it really didnt help me at all.

[Mollie]

i agree with electric7rocker... dont tell her parents unless shes ready for them to know

im a cutter and i think my parents finding out would be the worst thing ever, and if someone had told them for me i think id be VERY angry!!!

i dont really know what you can do to help her... is there any way she can wear trousers instead of shorts? and maybe a long sleeved shirt? i dont know we have the option of that at my school but maybe its different at yours.

as for helping her get past cutting... ehh thats a tough one! personally i dont think shell stop until shes ready and all you can do is help her with the reasons why she cuts.

she obviously trusts you a lot to tell you about the cutting, so you must be a good friend. just help her through her problems the best you can and that will hopefully be enough to stop her cutting

good luck :D

[Serenity]

and sam, i do have some idea what im talking about. i myself am a cutter... although im trying really hard to quit (its been about 2 1/2 months or so?) because i almost lost a friend because of it. and ive been to therapy for a number of things, it really didnt help me at all.

See? You can't judge a person just by how many times they've posted.

Btw rocker, please don't double post- use the edit feature if you want to add something.

As for telling her parents, no I don't believe you should go behind her back and tell them- that'd be like utter betrayal. You need to have a talk with her, though, and explain that her parents can offer the support and care she needs. I have yet to see someone quit cutting cold turkey, especially on their own. Yes, her parents need to know. Should you tell them without her knowledge or consent, absolutely not.

And I agree with Mollie in that there's not much you personally can do to make her stop- support her and remind her of reasons why she shouldn't, but I think that's a decision that only she can make. I guarantee, though, if you stand by her she'll be forever grateful when she does finally stop.

[Evrythng_im_not]

My mom found out and now I have to hide it even more. Even though she is completely oblivious. I still get close enough to death when I cut, but I just figured out how to hide it better. I do it high on my thighs, on my stomach, on my waist and hips. Anywhere that isn't suspicious.

[Crazysam]

Im really sorry guys for judging people by the amount of posts they have (its just a rule i've always followed) I will stop :D .

All im trying to say is I have life experience of these kind of things, I spent 4 months inside a mental asilem for having OCD (which i still have :( ) inside i've seen people do terrible things. Ive seen people slit there wrists with glass Ive seen whole rooms covered in blood from people who cant stop self harming. Ive seen people carving names into their skin with pencil sharpner blades. And everyday i remember these things and how fucked up life can be because of this i will NEVER forget these things. THESE PEOPLE NEED HELP! they think they are safe cutting but everyday they go a little bit deeper!

I also have 2 friends who cut and i try my best to help them but its just such hard work... and sometimes you have to terrible things to help people who need help! .....I have been round to one of thier houses and teared the place to pieces before looking for fucking razor blades she'd hidden some down her bra ffs! dosen't that just show you how desperate self harmers are?

I've also been in hospital twice in the last 2 months because of this girl abigail who self harms way to much!

That's what friends are for guys! I know for a fact that if i did something stupid my friends would rush to help me! because i have helped them! and if you help this girl it may hurt her initially but belive me WHEN SHE IS BETTER SHE WILL THANK YOU!

Im sorry i had to bore you with this but its my life and i need you to know why i think you should listen to my advice about this topic!

[Gavin]

I'm with emotional you can't just judge people by how many posts they have

[Mollie]

That's what friends are for guys! I know for a fact that if i did something stupid my friends would rush to help me! because i have helped them! and if you help this girl it may hurt her initially but belive me WHEN SHE IS BETTER SHE WILL THANK YOU!


i totally agree with you that you should help your friends

but without knowing how her parents would react to it, i dont think its the best idea to tell them

if my parents found out about me it would be so much worse! i wouldnt be allowed to be left on my own and theyd keep me away from anything sharp!

fair enough some parents would help and would understand... but not all would

sorry if that made no sense!

[Crazysam]

I'm with emotional you can't just judge people by how many posts they have

Did you even read my post? what did i say at the start of it? I apologised so please read before post mate :P

as for mollie I agree that some parents would take it differently from other but if your parents were to keep you away from sharp objects surely that is a good thing?

[electric7rocker]

it might be a good thing, depending on her lifestyle. if (hypothetically...) she loves to cook stuff, and her parents dont trust her with even kitchen knives, thats not a good thing. or if she likes to build stuff, or do crafts that use certain sharp things... being cut off from these things would just make her more unhappy, and more desperate to self harm.

[Mollie]

yeah... and being forced into stopping doesnt help in the long run i dont think

the feelings and urges would still be there, whether or not you can cut to get rid of them... and eventually u will be around sharp things and thats when youl cut, and it might end up worse than it would have (if that makes any sense!)

[Crazysam]

sorry but i don't understand how the cutter is supposed to stop with out help?

I doubt she would stop on her own accord!

[Mollie]

sorry but i don't understand how the cutter is supposed to stop with out help?

I doubt she would stop on her own accord!


how do you know?

you cant assume every cutters happy with what theyre doing... there comes a point when they realise they wanna stop

and i didnt mean they always can stop without help... but forcing them to stop isnt helping... to help all you need to do is support them

[Evrythng_im_not]

sorry but i don't understand how the cutter is supposed to stop with out help?

I doubt she would stop on her own accord!

I'm a cutter
And I do want to stop
It's hard
But I do want to stop and no one but me is the reason why

[heartagram72]

cover-up, long shorts, etc. if its on her calves, cover up or knee high socks

[star_face]

i would take the simple option tell her to pretend she has some sort of injury and that she can't do PE but don't make it about her leg or anything becuase a teacher or parent might want to look at it, not good! instead fake ashtma or something along those lines and don't tell her parents it's not your place if she really wanted them to know then she would of told them her self, and she might not see it as you trying to help! hope that helps